


Already Seen

by ThatDayDreamer



Category: Jessica Jones - Fandom, Kilgrave - Fandom, Malcolm Ducasse - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel's Jessica Jones, Superhero - Fandom, Supervillain - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:31:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 45,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDayDreamer/pseuds/ThatDayDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Kilgrave x Reader & Jessica Jones x Reader)<br/>A young woman in her 20s moves to Hell's Kitchen, into the same apartment building as Jessica Jones. The woman seeks desperately for some answers.</p><p>Thanks for reading.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Weird But Definitely Not Boring

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thanks for reading. No really. In no way am I writer, by any standards.  
> I just like to think up stories/scenarios/fantasies in my head so I don't have to deal with the real world and then I try my best to put them into words.  
> Enjoy, please leave some feedback if you have time. Thanks.

_This is great, just great._ You think to yourself. It’s the middle of a harsh winter in someplace in New York. Hell’s Kitchen or something? It was a weird name but a boring looking place. A passing taxi cab soaked you in the cold night air, which only just avoided running you over, probably isn’t a good first sign for what’s to come. You curse at it as it speeds off. You watch its lights fade away down the road. Your loose fitting, grey, tshirt framed a black paisley print of an elephant. The drenched material clung to your abdomen. You flapped it out to stop it doing that but it was no use. The moistness soaked through to your dark purple bra that could now be seen underneath and your khaki skinny jeans became skinnier jeans from that flying puddle too. You look down and exhale sharply. The smoke from your breath floats away and you hate yourself for not zipping up your long black coat before this soggy occurrence. It was sort of your fault anyway for not looking whilst crossing the road. You had your freckled nose in a map and stuffed a crumpled piece of paper with a scribbling of this address into your pocket. You picked up your backpack and duffle bag and began to walk up to the building whilst squinting up at the block of flats. You get to the door and climb the stairs to your number, because of course the lift is “out of order". Remaining positive whilst shivering is unsurprisingly difficult.  _At least my socks aren’t wet. That’s a plus, no one likes wet socks._

Apartment 151. The door creaked open and you dump your heavy duffel bag inside causing it to sag on impact, and stepped into your apartment closing the door behind you. You stood in the small square hallway that leads into the lounge/kitchen/dining room. It’s just one room with wood flooring, but carpet in the living area and tile in the kitchen area. It was cozy. The lights of the city twinkled in the distance through the large windows opposite you.  Something about street lights in the black of night relaxed you. Those huge windows are why you couldn’t say no to this place. You could picture them with long, grey curtains that touched the floor. You smiled and turned to your left to the bedroom door and swung it open, hung your coat by the hood on the door and tossed your backpack onto your double bed. You kick your brown boots causing them to fly off and lazily slid your duffle bag with your foot into the bedroom. You then made your way to the door opposite, the bathroom. A bath was the first thing on your to-do list. You could hear a noise but couldn’t quite make it out over the running water. You turn the tap off, focus on some muffled shouting you hear from down the hall, and then you jump from the loud smashing noise.  _Was that glass breaking?_ You leave the half filled tub and head out the door down the corridor and see a lanky man on the floor covered in glass. You watch him brush it out of his thick chocolatey hair and dust off his eggplant coloured blazer. You’re about to ask if he’s alright as you approach him before being startled by a voice.

“Hey, wet-tshirt-girl. He’s fine. Go away.” This voice came from a rather beautiful, dark haired woman. She brought a large glass of golden liquid to her full, red lips and her arm made a shooing motion toward you. She was wearing a plain white tshirt, dark grey skinny jeans ripped at the knee, and black boots. The man hadn’t noticed you were there until he held out his hand to you and you gazed down at it confused.

“Don’t just stand there. Help me up then.” He was rude but you did so nonetheless avoiding the shards of glass around your bare feet, and frowned at him while he brushed off the rest of the glass and wiped his bleeding lip. His English accent was nice hear at least.

“Leave. Now.” The woman was watching the man’s every move. She approached him ready to show him she was deadly serious. The glass she held before had disappeared.

“Jessica. Please. I’m the one who commands people. Remember?”

“Do you want me to throw you through my door again asshole?” Jessica was grinding her teeth. Her eyes locked on the man in the tattered suit.

“Hold on, you threw him through that?” You pipe up. Wishing you hadn’t said a word.

“What’s it to you? I said go away. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll listen.” Jessica is looking at you now waiting for a response. But you couldn’t think of one. Her tone confused you. It wasn’t all angry or rude it was more of a plea. The man is also waiting for your response. Both their eyes on you make you self conscious and you become very aware of your damp clothes.

“No she can stay. She kind of looks like you don’t you think Jessica? Same dreadful style and all that.” He says whilst ignoring your obvious trembling. His eyes examine you as he circles you. Suddenly you’re very conscious of how tight your clothes are, sticking to your body.

“Tell us your name.” He commands.

“_____. My name’s ____.” You cross your arms.

“Ah, lovely name. I’m Kilgrave. Very nice to meet you.”  He nods at you with a grin. The way he said it sounded sincere and friendly but you were cautiously sceptical. You force a smile back and broke eye contact. He seemed to only be asking more and more questions to get under the skin of this Jessica woman. Her large hazel eyes widened with fury and she tightened her fists.

“Where’you from? I can’t place your accent. You don’t sound like you’re from here.” He stared at you intensely. You watched him uncomfortably. His dark coffee coloured eyes slowly looked you up and down. You were very confused by his change in attitude and looked to Jessica for some explanation, then back at the strange man.

“Kevin…” Jessica’s tone was a warning. She looked like she was about to rip his head off. Kilgrave’s jaw shifted at the new name Jessica used.

“I’m going alright” He remarked and held his hands up, then they hung by his sides whilst turning to walk away. He briefly glanced back at your soaked tshirt. He’d noticed the colour of your bra. Kilgrave chuckled and you saw him smile only for a moment. It began and ended on one side of his mouth. You tried to ignore your increased heartbeat. Kilgrave strolled down the corridor. The two of you watched him until he was out of sight. Then Jessica turned and walked back to her broken door. p>

“Hey. Erm… are you ok? Do you want me to call the police?” You ask naively whilst trying to avoid the sharp pieces by your feet.

“Go home and dry off kid.” Jessica replied and stepped carefully through what was left of her door frame and disappeared into her dark apartment.

 _“Kid”? We’re like the same age._ You rub your temple and head back to continue your bath.


	2. Red Images

You pull the plug for the bath water to drain out. You stood there in your bathrobe and watched the water spiral down. You go over the events that occurred about an hour ago.  _What kind of a name is Kilgrave? She threw him through that glass door…What did he mean he “commands people”? I’d let him command me._  Your deep thoughts begin to overwhelm you. It’s happening again, you can feel it beginning. Scattered images and fragments of voices and noises flood your brain.

[You hear a rattle from your apartment door. You approach it and put the door on the chain latch.

“Who is it? What do you want? It’s late.” You brush your fingers through your freshly washed hair and scoop it to one side.

“Open the door” You hear a familiar voice from the other side. You’re compelled to do so and before you could stop to think whether that was a good idea, one hand undid the chain latch and the other was turning the door knob.

“Hello _____.” Kilgrave was stood in front of you.

“What just happened?” You referred to how only the words this man spoke; somehow compelled you do something you were questioning doing not seconds before. It was like your body and mind were separate. Kilgrave took your question as one aimed at the situation prior, involving Jessica and a glass door.

“Oh that? Don’t worry about it. Ex-girlfriend, it ended badly.  What happened to your wet-tshirt?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Forget it, you’re wet hair is even better. You’re going to let me in now.” Kilgrave waited for you to step aside and you did. When he pushed past, his expensive cologne lingered. The pleasant scent filled your nostrils as he walked into the lounge/dining room/kitchen.

“Quaint little place you’ve got here.” He stood in the middle of the lounge area facing the large windows and slid his hands into to the pockets of his expensive suit.

“What do you want?” Your demanding tone caught Kilgrave off-guard. He spun around to face you.

“I want to see you in that purple underwear.”

“Excuse me?” Your cheeks started to burn.

“Not right now, obviously. Eventually. Maybe?” He removed his eggplant coloured blazer and placed it neatly on one of your breakfast barstools, and made himself comfortable on your sofa. He tapped the seat next to him.

“Sit. Don’t be shy.” You’re upper body was cautious but your legs and feet were pulling you closer to him. You watched him watch you approach. He was admiring your shiny naked legs. You took a seat next to him.

“You smell lovely” Kilgrave remarked as he leaned over and inhaled deeply very close to your neck. He pulled away seconds later. Your heartbeat rose and you held your breath to not show any signs of pleasure. What was he doing? What were you doing? You hardly know this man. Why did you obey everything he’s said so far? Does some part of you want to obey him? His physical appearance and confidence was insanely attractive. There was no doubt about that. Your mind wondered of having casual sex with him. Why not? You’re new in the city, you’re bored. You’ve never done something like this before, but you didn’t feel shy in Kilgrave’s presence. Being sat next to someone who you find attractive, wearing nothing but a bath robe did however make your throat dry. You cleared your throat.

“Don’t be so tense. Relax.” Kilgrave put his hand on your knee. It was strangely calming. You looked up at him. Even sitting down he was a giant. His deep chocolate eyes were darting back and forth from your lips to your eyes. You exhale with pleasure as his hand started to make its way up your thigh. His face was closer to yours now; you could feel his breath on your lips.

“Do you want this?” He breathed; his hand was inching its way in between your legs.

“…yes.” you breathed back and grabbed a bunch of his thick hair on the back of his head to pull him closer for your lips to finally make contact. Upon pulling him nearer his hand applied pressure to your clit. You moaned with ecstasy. Kilgrave took this as a sign to begin. He started to massage your area vigorously. He teased you with his fingers. You tried to catch your breath in between moans and kissing his soft lips. His tongue was dominating yours. His mouth retreated back to your neck to begin biting and kissing, slowly making its way down to your breast. You scrunched a bunch of his glossy brown hair in your hand as a sign of pleasure which made him groan. He unbuttoned some of his shirt and pulled it up over his back and threw it on the floor. You started to undo Kilgrave’s belt and unzip his pants. Softly you stroked his penis up and down the shaft. He growled and dug his head deeper into your neck. When you sped up he reunited with your lips. Kissing you harder, then he started to insert his fingers inside you. You froze, your eyes rolled back and your head snapped back, narrowly missing a thump on the head from the wall behind the sofa. You had no control over leaving scratch marks on his warm naked chest or trembling when his speed increased. Your whole body was on fire. You grabbed the couch cushions for support as your legs were now jelly. His stubble scratched your cheek and you felt his breath on your ear now.

“Say my name” He commanded. You brought your head back down and opened your eyes and stared at him. You moaned his name softly over and over again. You felt his tongue on your face; with one stroke he licked your cheek.  You felt his shaft harden.

“Louder” Kilgrave demanded again. You moaned his name loudly as you were nearly at your climax when you felt his fingers slide out of you. You looked at him, disappointed. You locked eyes and he did that half smile you liked from before and stood up.

“Now. It’s my turn.” He said in between panting. He stood in front of you, bowed his head and looked down at you. He raised an eyebrow. Closing your legs, you looked up at this gorgeous man. Kilgrave had a long lanky physique and his body hair complimented his muscles perfectly. You slide off the sofa and knelt down in front of him. Not breaking eye contact. You undid your bathrobe fully and it slid off your body. You were completely naked. He looked down, his thick chocolate strands of hair flopped down too and he smiled warmly at you. You carefully slid his trousers down; making every second count. You slowly ran your hands back up his goosebumped legs and removed his black boxers. He hung his head back and groaned when you went off to fetch a condom from the drawer of your bedside table. His Adam’s apple looked like it was going to burst out of his neck when you carefully put on the rubber. You knelt in front of Kilgrave and started to kiss the area around his rock hard penis which made him shudder when your lips and tongue touched his skin. He was quite large, which wasn’t surprising from the general size of the rest of his body. You kissed and licked down his shaft, looking up at his wide brown eyes rolling back ever so often. Then you gripped his shaft and started sucking on the end. You gradually managed to insert more and more of him in your mouth. You felt his hand cup the back of your head and his long fingers separated in your hair. You let out a moan from the sensation. Kilgrave’s deep groans were making your body hot again. When you stopped for a moment to catch your breath he grabbed your hand and lead you to the bedroom. The two of you were now lying on your bed. He worked his way down your naked body; starting by kissing your lips then progressing to your neck, collar bone, breasts and then to your abdomen. When he got to your naval and even lower you couldn’t control your squirming. He looked up at your face from your area and watched your expressions of pleasure wash over you. You were staring at Kilgrave, anticipating his next act of pleasure. He began to massage your clit again; gently at first then more aggressively. His panting was getting louder which only made you groan more and more. You then felt the rubber. He pushed himself inside you. Both of you exhaled sharply. Kilgrave was now on top of you, grinding inside. Easing himself out and thrusting back in with his large hand gripping your thigh. Your foreheads were glued to one another. You felt his warm breath on you and you could smell his cologne again. You switch between breathing in deeply and kissing one another and both at the same time. You push him off of you playfully and decide to ride on top of him. You balance yourself with your hands on Kilgrave’s hard chest. The movements your hips were making make his his head roll back into the pillow and he grabs hard at your buttocks.

Abruptly you stop from a knock on your front door. The both of you look toward it. Then back at each other. Kilgrave looks at you still breathless and props himself up with his arms. You both are silent. There’s another knock, longer this time.

“Yes? What is it?” You shout gasping quietly.

“It’s Jessica from down the hall. I threw a guy through my glass door?”

“What do you want?” You demand sternly. Kilgrave sniggered.

“Look I’ve had a few so I’ll say this now cos I probably won’t want to when I’m sober…. I’m sorry for earlier.” Jessica was slurring most of her words.

“It’s ok Jess-“ You had to cut your sentence short because Kilgrave decided to continue while you were trying to talk to Jessica. You look down at him. He grins up at you playfully. You try to control yourself but he’s getting faster and deeper with you on top. You have to bite your lip to stop the loud moans escaping.

“I’ll-speak-to you- tomorrow yeah? Go-od-night!” You get your words out as quickly as possible and hope you won’t have to repeat yourself. You hear her drag her feet as she stumbles back to her apartment. Kilgrave is still penetrating you and you look down at him. You’re about to give him a stern talking to for that before he’s on top of you again. This time you’re unable to move your body from the intense pleasure. He quickens his thrusting, you scratch at his damp back. He growls and bites you neck. As you climax you breathe his name. He’s not too far off finishing himself. He’s inhaling and exhaling harshly as he climaxes too. He collapses on top of you and kisses you softly.

“Thanks for that.” Kilgrave muffles whilst nuzzling your neck. He rolls off you, puts a knot in the condom and tosses it on the floor. You’re both exhausted and settle down under the covers. Your heart is still racing. You turn over to look at him. He’s facing you but he’s beginning to drift off. His eyes are closed and his breathing is gradually getting softer. You examine his face in the dim light of your room.  _He looks so sweet._  You plant a kiss on Kilgrave’s beaky nose and roll over. You begin to drift off too before Kilgrave’s long warm arm scoops you up closer to his body.

“See you in the morning, pickle.” He mumbles. You’re not sure if he meant to say pickle but it was adorable. You drift off into the deepest sleep you’ve had in a long while.]

You clutch your head in pain whilst writhing on your new bathroom floor; springing in and out of a foetal position. You let out whimpers of agony. There’s always pain afterwards, always. Your nice white bathmat is stained with scarlet blotches leaking from your nose.  _Is it over?_  The thumping in your head, eyes and lips begins to fade away. You pry open your eyes and they focus lazily on the bathtub in front of you. You lift yourself up with very little strength so you’re sitting with your back against the sink cabinet opposite your bathtub. Your knees are bent so you rest your heavy head in your hands on them. You catch your breath and stand carefully, holding the side of the cheap coral coloured sink for stability to get a cold glass of water. You down the whole glass in one go. Those things really take it out of you.  Glancing at yourself in the mirror after placing your glass back down, you wipe your nose with your hand. Then turn to scan the room for any collateral damage and spot the bathmat. You roll your eyes and in your frustration you throw it outside your apartment with your apartment door slamming behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Notes from the author~  
> If you didn't already guess the story in the square brackets "[ ]" is a kind of vision. An explanation for this will be provided in a chapter later on. 
> 
> Also sorry about the smut. I've never written smut before. I hope it wasn't too cringey.  
> Please leave a comment or feedback or whatever you want & thanks for taking time to read this.


	3. Pretzel Courage

The rusty springs of your cheap bed let out a scream as you move to turn away from the sunlight leaking in through your curtains. _Just five more minutes._ Your eyes are still closed but as much as you resist opening them, your body is well rested. In your frustration you snap them open. 11:30am. You slink from the warmth of your bed and throw on some clothes you found in your duffel bag. A soft grey hoodie, some black skinny jeans and an old pair of converses. You run a brush through your hair, shove your phone and headphones in the pocket of your hoodie and some cash into the pocket of your skinnies. After locking up, you turn and double take the bathmat slumped up against the wall. You decide to deal with it later as your stomach was crying for sustenance. You’re walking head down trying your hardest to get your headphones to stop being tangled, before bumping into someone and being knocked back more than usual.

“Hey watch it” You look up to where the voice was coming from. It was Jessica. Jesus she was so beautiful, even the small bags under her eyes were pretty… _What?_

“Sorry. My fault, I wasn’t looking where I was going. My brain gets a bit slow when I haven’t had food.” You laugh and try your best to be sincere. You had a feeling you really didn’t want to get on this woman’s bad side. Jessica was still frowning at you, analysing you.

“It’s fine. Just look where you’re walking in future. You could bump into someone who isn’t as understanding.” You weren’t sure if this was sarcasm or some advice. She also seemed distracted. Before walking away she pulled her hood up like she was on a mission.

You followed her down the corridor and stairs. She slipped on her fingerless gloves before placing her hands into her hoodie pocket.  _Do fingerless gloves keep your hands warm?_  You didn’t want her thinking you were following her, you weren’t. This is just the only way out of the building. You try to distance yourself, before realising you were both heading to the same location; Central Park. You enjoyed your walk listening to your music. You arrived and remembered a friend of yours once told you about these warm pretzels he’d got from a street vendor in Central Park. You were hunting for pretzels and so lost sight of Jessica. After finding one you bought your warm pretzel and hot chocolate and sat on the bench opposite to people-watch. You chomped on the pretzel and watched this shifty looking guy. He kept glancing in a certain direction you weren’t sure of. He would advance every so often so it wasn’t noticeable unless you were discreetly watching his every twitchy move. You often try not to judge people until you get to know them, but this man didn’t look healthy. His face was washed out, had no colour in it and he would scratch at his head, face and neck every so often. This irritable man was making you anxious. What was he going to do? He was edging closer to a tall man with dark hair who was reaching for a magazine from a stand. Is he going to steal his wallet? You removed your headphones and watched. The magazine merchant began to raise his voice.

“Hey! This isn’t a library pal.” The merchant was shorter but stockier than the taller man but that didn’t stop him tugging rather aggressively on the taller man’s coat. The junkie had stopped. It looked like he was waiting for the taller man.

“I said this isn’t a library.” Repeated the merchant whilst the taller man rotated slowly and looked at him expressionless. It was that guy, Kilgrave or something who Jessica threw through her door. She should probably get that fixed.

“Pick up that coffee. Throw it in your face.” You couldn’t believe what you’d just witnessed. It was so sudden and you’re shocked at Kilgrave’s lack of remorse. He just told that man to do it and began to walk away like it was nothing. You gasp as the merchant’s face started to blister as he clutched at his steaming face. You leave your pretzel and hot chocolate on the bench and stomp over to the scene.

“What is wrong with you?!” You demand. You’re confused as to why every passerby is ignoring the situation. Maybe it’s because you’re new to the city and probably should have done the same. You try to help the scolded man but he just bats away your hands and staggers off. Kilgrave is surprised at this act of courage (or stupidity) and turns to face you. The junkie is at his side and is already staring at you.

“Well, hello. Good afternoon. _____ was it?” He raised his eyebrows and was towering over you. Greeting you like nothing had happened. You couldn’t believe his lack of empathy.

“Why did you make that man do that to himself?” You stammered. You were questioning whether you’d made the right choice here.

“Because he was rude. Not the best attitude for a salesman.”

“Making someone throw coffee in their face isn’t the “best attitude” for a stable human being, but no one’s doing anything about that.” You can hear the tiny voice in your head telling you to GTFO and asking you why the heck are you still speaking.

“I liked you better as wet-tshirt-girl. Nice colour bra by the way”

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” You watch Kilgrave flick through one of the magazines he stole. A bunch of his thick chocolate hair flopped down.

“Not really. You have pretzel on your face.” His reply was one he remarked before walking away. Your frustration soon curdled into embarrassment as you franticly wipe your mouth.

“Don’t change the subject. I know you’re the one who “commands people”” You blurt out your words without thinking. The junkie standing next to him was just as surprised as Kilgrave. Except the junkie was a bit more jumpy at every movement. Kilgrave was quick to turn around and was closer to you now. You could smell his expensive cologne. It hit the back of your throat it was so strong. His firm grasp on your arm was beginning to hurt.

“Who told you.” He growled. “Was it Jones? She can’t keep her bloody mouth shut can she.”

“No one told me. Who’s Jones? I don’t know a Jones. Let go of my arm, you’re hurting me.” You try to peel his large hand off of you but it doesn’t budge. For a lanky looking guy, Kilgrave did have some strength.

“How do you know about me? Tell me now.” He was looking you straight in the eye. You didn’t want to tell him anything, you didn’t owe this man anything but your lips deceived you.

“I know about you because I had a vision about you commanding me and we had sex so I put two and two together by what you said when I first met you to what I saw in my vision-” Your voice was monosyllabic and almost robotic. You didn’t want to say the things that were spilling out of your mouth before Kilgrave’s command relieved you of your word vomit.

“Stop.” He let go of your arm and raised his hand.  “You have visions?… Can you predict the future?… WELL?” He was doubtful but intrigued. He was waiting for an answer and showed his impatience with a rise from his eyebrows which made his eyeballs protrude slightly.

“Not that it’s any of your business but yes. I have weird visions. Ok?” You rub the arm Kilgrave was hanging onto then folded your arms and sighed.

“Interesting… “ Kilgrave lowered his eyebrows and tapped his pursed lips with his index finger.  Some time had passed before you, the junkie or Kilgrave had said anything.

“and do all these “visions” include you having sex with handsome strangers?”  Kilgrave said with an arched brow. You didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer, but the look you flashed him gave him enough.

“We’re not so different _____. You and I… Walk with me. You can tell me more about this gift of yours.” Kilgrave dumps the magazines onto the junkie and continues walking as the junkie almost drops the pile. You try to help him but Kilgrave calls to you.

“Leave him. Come here _____. You’re coming with me. Walk next to me.” You increase your speed to catch up with Kilgrave so you’re right by his side. You feel horrible leaving the junkie after he dropped the magazines.

“Who is he? One of your slaves or something?”

“Malcolm. You should recognise him. He lives in that same decrepit building as you and Jessica.” Kilgrave didn’t face you when he replied. He looked like he was taking in his surroundings.

“I’ve never seen him, I only moved in yesterday.”

“I knew you weren’t from around here. “ Kilgrave was exhaling deeply, enjoying the afternoon’s fresh air.

“Look. Tell me what you want me to tell you so I can leave.” This romantic stroll through the park with some sociopathic stranger was making you uncomfortable.

“Now, now. Don’t be short with me _____. We have enough time. We’ll discuss it over dinner. Right now we’ll try to enjoy this peaceful stroll through the park.”

“Dinner?”

Kilgrave inhaled deeply and exhaled. “Yes. I have dinner reservations at one of Hell’s Kitchen finest establishments. I could probably  _persuade_  them to squeeze you in.” You didn’t like the way he said persuade.

“We’ll have to get you out of those clothes-“ Kilgrave said fishing for a reaction. You snap your head in his direction. You were about to reprimand his flirtatious suggestion before being cut off.

“Don’t speak. You don’t have to react to everything. I was referring to the restaurant attire. You can’t go to this kind of restaurant dressed in a hoodie, skinny jeans and some baseball boots. It would be absurd.”  _Yes. Of all the things. That’s the most absurd thing._ You try your best to interrupt his many ramblings of how this restaurant has a great view of something. You weren’t really listening. Your voice box had stopped working for the time being so you decide to just continue walking. As it was now your turn to take in your surroundings.


	4. Per Se

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I've been busy with life. It always gets in the way.  
> I always feel like writing really late (technically it's early since it's 3:30am as I post this) so here you go. It's a long one so knock yourself out.
> 
> Please do leave some constructive criticism if you have any, I'd greatly appreciate it.  
> Thanks for reading and if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask.  
> ✌  
> _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kilgrave waves down a yellow cab after your walk together and without a word takes the magazines from Malcolm who was scurrying behind the two of you. You watch Malcolm slide out a yellow package from inside his coat and hands it sheepishly to Kilgrave. Kilgrave exchanges it for a smaller package before shooing him away. Before leaving, Malcolm makes eye contact with you. You notice his dark bloodshot eyes, chapped lips and the worried look on his face. It was as if he was going to say something but decides against it and leaves. You watch him stumble away before being ordered to get in the cab.

“Go on get in” the purple man orders. Kilgrave’s free arm is leaning on the cab door holding it open, waiting. You hesitate and look back to where you last saw Malcolm but he was nowhere to be seen. You were lost in thought and ignored Kilgrave as you tried to figure out what Malcolm’s expression could mean.

“Hurry up” He snaps. You glare back at him and get into the cab and slide over to the farthest seat. Kilgrave joins you and tells the cab driver not to small talk and go to a store you’ve never heard of.  The magazines are plopped down in the space between you.

“You’re awfully quiet…” Kilgrave remarks as the silence lingers for too long. You look over to him and raise your eyebrows. “Oh. Right right, my fault completely. I slip sometimes. You can speak again now.”

“What do you want?” You were becoming more and more agitated from the amount of time this was taking.

“I want to know more about you _____, and your powers. They may come in very handy.”

“How? I’ve tried figuring it out for 20 years and I’m still not sure how they work. I don’t really want to share something so personal with someone I barely know either.” You turn away to watch the city whiz by the window.

“That’s why we’ll have dinner. Get to know one another. Properly. It’ll be less invasive,” Kilgrave was trying but you were uninterested and continued to gaze out the window.

“…if all else fails I’ll just make you tell me.” He said in his annoyance.

“Fine. Just do that so I can go.”

Kilgrave exhaled sharply. “Go back to what exactly? A shitty apartment? A shitty job? I’m trying to be nice here. Being new to this city, anyone else would be bloody grateful!” You let the words sink in during the harsh silence that followed. You were kind of being a dick. He was like you after all. Gifted. You’d never met anyone else who had a gift. Plus he was offering you a free meal.

“Look, uh Kilgrave. I’m sorry.” Kilgrave reached his large hand over and placed it on top of yours that was resting on the seat beside you. Seeing his hand reminded you of that vision. How you’d seen and felt his hands all over you.

“That’s more like it.” He gave your hand a squeeze.

“I’ll tell you about my abilities, what I know of them anyway, if you tell me about yours too. I’ll be as detailed as you’re willing to be. Deal?” You pull your hand away from underneath his warm one.

“Seems reasonable. How detailed are we talking exactly?”

“Like, when was the first time you found out you could do whatever it is you could do, were you born with it blah blah blah”

“We’ll see.” The cab came to a stop.

“That’s $22.50” remarked the cabbie.

“It’s free. Thank you goodbye” His bluntness made you laugh. Kilgrave was reaching for the door before you grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He looked back at you confused.

“You’re gonna pay him.” You protest. Kilgrave shot glances between the cabbie and yourself.

“Why?”

“Because he provided a service for us and he expects to be paid. He most likely needs the money, what if he has a family?”

“I don’t give a toss.” Kilgrave stared you down. You stood your ground so he quickly gave up. “Jesus. Alright. Here.” Kilgrave threw some cash at the cabbie then grabs the magazines before leaving the taxi. You exit the other side so you’re standing on the pavement. You look up at the store. The sign read “New York Dress”.  _That’s a creative name._

“Not the most creative name I know,” You look at Kilgrave shocked that you thought a similar thought. “but apparently they make one hell of a dress.”

“What are you expecting me to buy from here? I don’t have the kind of money for a place like this.”

“Here.” Kilgrave hands you a black credit card. You look down at it and back up at him. “Look I have some stuff to do, so can I leave you pick out a dress? It’s a four and a half star restaurant, tell the people who work there that and they’ll help you if you’re not sure. I’m sure they’ll find something for you.”

“Thanks,” you remark sarcastically. “how do I know you didn’t command someone to give you this?” You wave the little piece of black plastic Kilgrave gave you.

“You don’t” He says with a smile. You weren’t impressed. “For god’s sake, it’s mine ok? Scout’s honour.” Kilgrave held his hand over his heart and flashed you big puppy dog eyes. That was more convincing.

“Give me your phone.” You handed it to him and he began to enter his number into your phone. “Text me when you’re done, I don’t care how much you spend, get shoes and a bag or earrings or whatever I don’t know. Then go back to your place, take however long it does to get ready. I’ll be knocking your door at quarter to 7 so we’ll be there for the reservation at 7.” You could see the excitement in Kilgrave’s face growing. “Tell me your apartment number”

“My apartment number is 151. I’ll text you when I’m done. Then go back to my place get ready by quarter to 7.” You repeat with a blank stare.

“Yes.” Kilgrave brushes off your robotic tone and kisses you lightly on the cheek. The same pleasant smell filled your nose. You remember it from that vision. He turns and you watch him walk down the street. With his back still turned he raises his hand to wave you goodbye and then answers his phone.

You push the glass doors and enter the shop. It was immaculate. Huge chandeliers hung from the ceiling and glass worktops sparkled. The carpet looked too expensive for you to set foot on and you were afraid you’d get snubbed from a place like this so you proceeded with caution. Not long after you were admiring the beauty of the place, a store colleague emerged from seemingly nowhere and asked if you needed any help. You hated when they did that. Especially when you were just browsing, but this time you actually did need some assistance. You explained the circumstance to the unsettling cheerful worker and she showed you their range of cocktail dresses. You weren’t sure of any of them. They all had price tags of $150 and upward.  _Holy crap that’s about £100… on just a dress?_ Finally after an hour of trying ones on you thought you liked but didn’t sit right on your body, you spotted one. You prayed to all the gods that it would look nice on you. It was subtle yet stunning; a long sleeved black cocktail dress with green jewels covering the bust area. You examined the dress and felt a presence next to you.

“Ah yes. A beautiful choice. This one is part of our Sherri Jill collection. The neckline and bodice are my favourite things about this piece, adorned with twinkling accents of green emeralds which really adds to the stunning style of its bib neckline. The empire waist also gives the wearer a slightly fitted feel to the skirt so you can show off those legs,” You stop the store assistant before she trails off again, you were impressed with her product knowledge but needed some time to think. The assistant perks up again. “Unfortunately madam, this particular dress has sold out and is for display only at the moment. I’m very sorry. We do have the same dress in a different colour. Instead of green, we have one with jewels in a wine colour”

“Can I see the wine one please?” You ask biting your lip.

“Certainly madam.” She walks off to another part of the store to get the dress and presents it to you. You thanked her for her help and went to try it on. It was gorgeous. It wasn’t too tight but showed off all your curves elegantly and the wine colour complimented your complexion beautifully. The wine colour was only noticeable in a certain light because it was nearly as dark as the black material that made up the rest of the dress. All you needed now was a clutch or some earrings. You decided on a simple, shiny black box clutch and some black strappy velvet heels. You pay for your items with Kilgrave’s credit card not worrying about the insane amount of money he’d just spent and text him to tell him you’re finished. He replies almost immediately which makes your heart beat a little quicker for some reason as you make your way to your apartment.

-

You’re surprised to see the elevator in full working order as you enter your building. Since all that dress shopping tired you out you decide to take the lift. The doors creak open and inside is Malcolm, sprawled out on the floor. You drop your bag on the elevator floor and check if he’s breathing. Thankfully he is. You’re unsure of what to do until the doors open again to reveal Jessica standing there waiting for the lift. She sees you squatting next to Malcolm and she rushes in concerned.

“Is he breathing?” She asks squatting down.

“Yes. I think so. I think he just passed out. Should we take him to the hospital?”

Jessica sighs. “No. I’ll put him back in his apartment. You wanna grab that arm?” She presses the button for the same floor number you’re currently stopped on and the doors squeak open again. She hoists most of Malcolm’s weight up and you grab your bag and try to help while you two lead him to his apartment.

“I’m _____ by the way.” You smile politely.

“Jessica.” She didn’t look at you.

“I know. ” She looked at you curiously. “I-mean-I gathered that, from before. When you threw Kilgrave through your door” You always got so nervous around her. You weren’t really sure why that was. She gave off strange vibes; you weren’t sure where you stood with this woman. You were worried to say the wrong thing and she’d end up punching you in the nose or something.

“Oh yeah. Wet-tshirt-girl” She smiled back at you. You felt a rush of relief and reciprocated a smile. Jessica fumbled around in Malcolm’s coat pocket for his keys and unlocked his apartment door. The both of you flopped him onto his couch.

“Hey thanks for that.” Jessica slid her silky black hair behind her ears as she stood up straight.

“No worries.” You were trying not to show how out of breath you were in front of Jessica.

“He’s a good guy y'know. He’d appreciate this and probably tell you if he were awake.” Jessica explained while placing his keys on his coffee table. You nodded. The two of you left Malcolm’s apartment. You noticed Jessica’s door now had cardboard where the glass should have been. You approached the door to see the faint scribbling that read “Alias Investigations”.

“So you’re a cop then?” You remark. Jessica approaches you on your side. She was the same height as you.

“Private Investigator” She corrects you and focuses on the door.

“Cool.” You reply.

“Not really. But it pays the bills and I get to make a difference” Her gaze didn’t leave the door.

“That’s really nice.” It was so difficult to keep a conversation flowing with someone who was so distant and short with their responses.

“Was Kilgrave a bad client of yours?” As soon as your words left your lips you regretted every syllable. You were only trying to make small talk. Jessica was now standing in front of you wearing a very serious look on her pale face.

“No he wasn’t. He’s an asshole. STAY AWAY FROM HIM. If you see him again, run in the other direction.”

“Ok.” You laughed awkwardly and dismissed her very serious warning. You began to walk away to leave the conversation then Jessica grabbed your wrist.

“I’m serious _____. Stay away from Kilgrave.” Her glistening green-brown eyes were wide and staring you down intensely. She had a very strong grip which was starting to make your hand go cold.

“Why? What happened between you two?” You ask as your blood supply was cut off to your hand.

“He’s dangerous and his only concern is himself. Just believe me.”

“Alright.” You nod convincingly. Jessica lets go of your wrist and smiles politely then retreats into her apartment. Obviously you can’t stay away because you’ve got to get ready for the dinner reservation he has planned for the both of you, that you don’t want to attend. He’ll be knocking your door at quarter to 7. You make your way to you apartment and close the door. After dumping your shopping bag on your bed you receive a text from Kilgrave.

“Will you be wearing that purple underwear tonight?”

You reply with “No. I have to get ready now.”

Kilgrave then replies rapidly which surprises you. “No? Will you be wearing  _any_  underwear tonight?”

You try not to grin and think about replying with “shut up” before changing it to “We’ll See.” Your heart races as you wait for the word “Send” below your text, change to “Read✓3:50pm”. You lock your phone and tell yourself not to check it again until after you’ve gotten ready.

The stereo plays your favourite music as you begin with a shower then quickly moving on to styling your hair in the way you love. You decide to wear your best pair of lacy underwear and matching bra before sliding into your dress. You then apply some make-up and your favourite perfume. You have no idea if this is too much or too little, you’ve never been to a 4 and a half star restaurant. Even though you were reluctant to go to dinner with Kilgrave, you were sort of excited but weren’t sure why. Probably eager to see more of the night-life the city has to offer. You grab your clutch bag you’d packed earlier and place it next to your heels on the sofa. You check your phone for the time. 6:17pm. Your phone buzzes making you jump. It was a reply to your earlier text from Kilgrave.

“I’ll see you soon.” His reply made you feel anxious. Your music eases your worries for 20 minutes or so before you hear a knock at your door. You’re surprised and a little impressed, 6:45pm on the dot. You spring up and walk over to your door and turn the knob. There he was. He always looked so smart. He was wearing a full suit and tie, the works. You couldn’t help but admire his flawless image. His thick dark brown locks were styled to perfection.

“Going barefoot are we?” His voice snapped you out your trance of admiration and you paused to make sense of what he’d just said. Kilgrave nodded his head in the direction of your feet and you look down at them. You were so eager to open the door and let him in you’d forgotten to put your shoes on. You become flustered and without a word you dart back to your sofa and start to pull on your heels. Meanwhile Kilgrave has entered your apartment and is watching you fasten your strappy heels. When you’re finished, you run your hands up your legs unintentionally. Kilgrave enjoyed it. You remain seated and looked up at him, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“…what?” You watch his large dark eyes scanning you up and down. He sighs quietly before replying.

“Nothing. Are you ready?”

“Yep.” You grab your clutch and slip your phone inside. Kilgrave is waiting for you in the doorway and invites you to link arms. You do so and are grateful for the support. He’s leading you to the elevator and you glance back at Jessica’s door and recall her warning. Kilgrave squeezes your arm to draw your attention back to him.

“Nervous?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t be. It’ll be fun, you’ll see” Your urge to retreat back to your apartment disappeared and your body became less shaky. This was probably down to Kilgrave’s words but you didn’t mind. Your arm remained linked to Kilgrave’s until you both were outside and were greeted by a black Jeep. You noticed there was a driver and quickly broke the bond.

“This better not be some random guy you “persuaded” to be our chauffeur for the night.“

"It’s not. I mean he _is_  our chauffeur-” You gave him an unimpressed look. You were about mouth off before Kilgrave interrupted you. “Don’t misunderstand. Hank’s here because he’s paid. A lot.”

“You pay him a lot to drive you around the city?”

“Amongst other things.” You were about to question his vagueness before being ordered into the vehicle. When the car was in motion you watched Kilgrave searching his pockets to reveal a small grey box. He handed it to you.

“I got you these. Not sure if they’re your style or if they go with the dress” Kilgrave acted like he wasn’t interested in your reaction and shrugged a whole lot. You opened the box and inside where a pair of earrings. The exact style you adore. You held one of them up delicately and the light from the city outside made it twinkle beautifully.

“They’re gorgeous, thank you.” You lean in to lightly peck his cheek. His skin was very soft. You remove the earring from the box and struggle to get it in your ear.

“Give them here” He protests, and instantly you place the earrings in his hand and his fingertips brush against yours as you slide your hand away. You tilt your head away and shift your hair to the other side, leaving your neck exposed. You hear him swallow and then feel his warm breath on your neck. He cups your chin to turn your head back toward his so he can get to the other ear and your lips are inches from his. You watch his focused expression whilst you enjoy the sensation his fingers are making on your earlobe. You dig your teeth into your lip to trap a moan of pleasure and hope he doesn’t notice.

“There. Done. You smell lovely by the way.”

“Thanks.” You reposition your hair and play with your new earrings. You and Kilgrave bask in the silence before shortly arriving at a restaurant named “Per Se”.


	5. Powerful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me for this long. It means the world to me.  
> I'm really enjoying writing this. I started at 9pm or 10pm I think and it's now 3am as I post this. Ah well.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this. This was my favourite chapter to write so far!  
> ✌  
> _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The car comes to a halt and you’re about to open your door before Kilgrave tells you to wait. You watch him get out his side and jog around to your side. He straightens his suit and runs his fingers through his hair before opening your door and holding out his hand for you to grab. You slide your legs out into the cold air. Kilgrave watches you as you grasp his hand and stand. You don’t notice him staring at you; you’re too busy in awe of the magnificent building.

“Wow…” You exclaim, your head still tilted up and scanning the place. You hair dances in the cold breeze.

“Quite the picture isn’t it?” Kilgrave is still gazing at you, smiling warmly.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Wait ‘till we get inside.” He escorts you to the doors and you were gobsmacked. The lavish interior greeted you with a dark red carpet spread across the entire floor, waiters and waitresses buzzing around shiny dark wooden tables. You could hear the faint hum of a large aquarium glowing in the waiting area and the clinking of glasses and cutlery against china. The classical music flowed through the speakers and long pale gold curtains slumped to the floor framing the few large windows. One large impressive chandelier hung from the centre whilst the rest of the black walls were adorned with a waterfall of fairy lights. Kilgrave walked on ahead to speak to the host about the reservation.

“Holy shit” You reacted without thinking with a voice that was a little too loud for such a sophisticated atmosphere. Some customers started to stare. You grasp your clutch with both hands and hunch with embarrassment as Kilgrave turned as well.

“Sorry.” You try to hide next to Kilgrave.

“For what?” He replies. He goes back to leaning on the host’s counter with his pointy elbows. He’s now noticed the rude staring and whispering directed at you. He frowns as he raises his voice as he stands up straight.

“Jesus Christ, it was a bloody compliment alright? Go back to stuffing your faces.”

A small smile spreads across your face. The host returns and you both follow him to be seated. Your heart is pounding at the image of Kilgrave sitting opposite you. He orders something before getting comfortable using his best accent to match the unknown language escaping his lips. You listen intently wondering if he’s fluent in any language besides English. He unbuttons his suit jacket and you are both handed the menu. You scan the menu for any language you can recognise.

“What d’you fancy?” Kilgrave leans into the table with his elbows and supports his head with his hand. You can see down the inside of his expensive shirt when he leans in. You notice his chest hair.

“I have no idea. What language is this?” You’re still trying to make sense of the menu.

“Some of it’s in French. They serve some of the best French dishes I’ve ever tasted.”

“Oh. Can you read French?” Your eyes are still on the menu.

“Yes, and speak it fluently. I was taught from a young age.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn another language.”

“I’ll teach you sometime.” The waiter has brought the wine you assume Kilgrave ordered earlier and pours two glasses of the crimson liquid and leaves the bottle. You look up and take a sip.

“How about now? I’m struggling with this menu. ” You laugh awkwardly and hand the menu to Kilgrave. He places his glass down and scans the menu.

“Why don’t we start with Hors d'oeuvre?” Kilgrave’s English accent coupled with some of the French language gave you stomach butterflies.

“What?” You ask bluntly, trying not to show his charm had any effect on you.

“Appetizers. It’s usually a soup of some kind.”

“Ok. Order what you’d usually order, for me please. Otherwise we’ll be here all night”

“I plan on it.” He says eyeing you over his glass he brought to his lips. How could he make drinking wine look so seductive? Your throat dries and you wet it with some wine. Kilgrave changes the subject.

“Now, your gifts _____. Tell me more about them. What do you see?” Kilgrave leant in again crossing his arms on the table. The strain on his sleeves made his biceps bulge.

“It isn’t as spectacular as you make it out to be. I do see… things, but they aren’t always accurate or in an order that makes sense. It’s difficult to explain.”

“Try. We have all night.” He’s waiting and listening patiently.

“These visions, they come and go. I’m not sure what brings them on. I’ve had them since I was very young. From what I’ve gathered, a strong connection or a feeling I get sets them off, or maybe when I’m thinking hard about something.” You’re rambling but then get back on track. “When I focus my thoughts on a certain thing, there’s this intense rush. My blood pumps faster and it feels like my head is going to explode. I can still feel myself in the present but the images I see are through my own eyes in the future. What I see in these visions isn’t necessarily understandable at that moment. It becomes clearer afterwards. They link up with random occurrences that happen  _after_  the vision.”  You worry you’re boring Kilgrave with your unclear explanation. “Does that make any sense?”

“Sort of. It gives some clarification as to why you haven’t obeyed all my commands.”

“I can ignore your commands?” You were impressed with yourself.

“Only a few. It’s definitely unique. For example, when I told you to get in the cab earlier today, you were fixated on Malcolm as he left us. You must’ve been deep in your own thoughts which subdued any control I had over you. It’s certainly fascinating.” The waiter returned to take your order. Kilgrave took care of it and used his best French accent to name the dishes he requested. You were lost in thought again. There’s more to your gift than you thought. When the waiter left, Kilgrave topped up your wine before doing the same with his.

“Anything else I should know? About your gifts I mean?”

“I haven’t learnt anything new. I wouldn’t really call it a gift though,”

“Why not?”

“I’d say my abilities, are more along the lines of a curse.” It seemed Kilgrave perked up when you used the word curse.

“Go on” He insisted, taking another sip of wine.

“Well. When I have one of my episodes or whatever you want to call it, after the vision ends I’ve usually collapsed and the pain afterwards it’s unbearable. It’s like a wicked hangover. The only way I can describe it is it’s like my brain is swelling and the pressure on my skull is indescribable. It doesn’t last very long probably 15 minutes, but in the moment, it feels like it’s lasting hours. It makes my ears ring and then I’m usually pretty out of it and need to sleep for a while.” Walking Kilgrave through the trauma your “gift” produces afterwards deserves a hearty glug from your glass. You finish your glass and it soothes you. You look over at Kilgrave after setting your empty glass down. His expression is hard to decipher. His eyebrows are high and he’s swirling his wine around in his glass.

“That’s very odd.” Kilgrave says finally.

“Your turn.” You say confidently, grabbing the bottle and pouring another glass. Kilgrave grinds his teeth and before he could say anything the appetizers arrive. You decide to leave off questioning until you’ve finished the first course.

-

“Do you want me to order a main course for you as well?” Kilgrave’s nose is in the menu.

“Please, if you don’t mind.” You dab your mouth with the napkin, being extra thorough not to relive the pretzel incident. Kilgrave snaps his fingers and orders a waiter to approach the table to clean up and take the order for the main course. This annoyed you; he didn’t have to be so rude.

“I’m still waiting to hear your story.” You say leaning closer to Kilgrave.

“Alright. I guess I’ve put it off long enough.” He leaned in closer to you. “Are you ready? I don’t share this story with many people. Only a chosen few. I can trust you? ” He was stalling. You push his arm playfully.

“Yes. Just get on with it.” You laugh.

“Fine. A deal’s a deal. When I was a young lad, my parents” He used air quotes around the word parents, “those cold blooded monsters used me as their own human lab rat. Prodding me with needles and performed barbaric experiments on their own son!” You weren’t expecting the conversation to take such a drastic turn, or Kilgrave to raise his voice. The tone was dark and upsetting now. Your cheerful expression fell as you listened to Kilgrave’s story of his past, ignoring the familiar stares. You’d actually forgotten there was anyone else in the restaurant until now.

“Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry.” You lean over and rub his solid arm up and down reassuringly. He paused for a while and took pleasure in your sympathy for him.

“Did they do it for a reason?” You stopped rubbing his arm and sat back in your seat.

“Mum and Dad were scientists. They said they were looking into ways to treat or cure a disease I had. Load of bullshit that was.”

“So you were created? The experimental treatments ended up giving you the power to control and command people?” Kilgrave nodded. You noticed his eyes looking at the ground making his chunky locks flop down. His eyes were filling up and you wanted to change the subject.

“Jesus” You sigh. “What a pair of fuck ups we are eh?” You chuckle as you try to lighten the mood. Kilgrave looked up at you. “You were traumatised which evidently gave you your powers, and I was born with my powers which have caused me trauma ever since.” You begin pouring another glass of wine for yourself and for Kilgrave. “There’s no winning is there? We’re going to need something stronger than wine.” You smile at Kilgrave and he lets out a short laugh. He smiled that half smile you saw him do before when you first met showing off his perfect pearly teeth. You loved it when he did that. The waiter makes you two break eye contact as he serves you the main course.

“You know, I’m kind of glad you commanded me to walk with you today.” You couldn’t decide whether this was the wine talking or if you were being genuinely honest.

“Really?” Kilgrave wasn’t convinced and raised a brow. “Do tell me _____, why is that?” Kilgrave was in a better mood now. You hope it was mostly down to you cheering him up rather than the expensive free food he was eating.

“If you’d never told me to come with you, I’d never gotten to know someone who was like me. Who has abilities.”

“You could prove useful to me.” He added.

“How so?”

“By being a valuable asset. Say now, if I order someone to do something without thinking of the consequences because let’s be honest, who has time for that? You could do your vision thingy and warn me if it would turn around and end up biting me in the arse.”

“I told you it doesn’t work like that.” You say sternly. “I can’t switch it on and off. I don’t decide when these visions come.”

“How do you know? Maybe you can. You just haven’t practiced. You just said you weren’t entirely sure of your abilities. Hell,  _I_  figured out you could block out some of my powers, and I told you, since you were a little slow on the uptake.” You were slightly insulted but let him continue. “Listen, you’ve been fighting your abilities right? Praying that it doesn’t happen again. Pushing them to the back of your mind because they cause so much pain.”

“Right…” You squint your eyes wondering where he was going with this.

“Now I’m no expert, not even in the slightest, but what if you embraced your powers and intentionally brought on your visions? You would have more control over your visions, when to bring them on etcetera. With some practice maybe you could become resistant to the pain that follows afterwards.” You let his words echo through your ears. You’d never of thought of this. This was really interesting and so uplifting to discuss this with someone who understood. When you tried bringing this up in the past, sure your friends and family would sympathise and try to understand. But they never truly  _believed_  you or took you seriously. They’d never heard of someone like you, let alone someone else with a completely different set of abilities.

Kilgrave had an aura of confidence about him. He was smug he’d made you think differently. “This is something I want too.” He continued “I want you to be able to think clearly if we are to work as a successful unit. I have absolutely no intention of controlling you, I want you to act on your own accord. You’ll build up a tolerance or strengthen your gift to block out my commands.” You nod along to his reasoning in agreement. “I don’t want to slip up with you _____”. Kilgrave’s large puppy dog eyes were back and the way he said that last bit made your head a bit heavy.

“It won’t be that difficult. You haven’t accidently controlled me tonight… that much.”

“I have to painstakingly choose every word I say. It’s exhausting.” Kilgrave ran his long fingers through his chocolatey hair.

“Oh poor you.” You tease “Getting whatever you want must be so tiring!”

“Hey” Kilgrave points at you jokingly. “Now don’t make me discipline you. Not in front of all these nice paying customers”. The way Kilgrave scolded you turned you on a little bit.

“Are  _you_  a paying customer?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“Don’t be silly.” He replies making you laugh. Kilgrave beams with delight. “You wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of boring in here.” Kilgrave looks hurt. “Oh god, no I didn’t mean. Not being here with you. Just this place.” You stammer.

“See, it’s not so simple is it? Having to choose your words carefully.” He remarks. “Let’s go.” Kilgrave stands and takes your hand. He links your arm into his. You quickly grab your clutch bag off the table before being hauled away by Kilgrave’s pace. “Thanks for the free meal, exquisite as always!” He waves as you both head for the doors. You were too merry to give a damn about paying for the meal. One free meal wouldn’t hurt this place. You look back and watch the host about to stop you both from leaving to make you pay your bill. He stops in his tracks and is staring blankly while shouting “Thank you, come again.” Kilgrave’s power was intoxicating.

The purple man is leading you to the Jeep that dropped you off. You’re stumbling somewhat because of the lightweight you are. You feel some of your hair move and get tucked behind your ear. Kilgrave leaned in and whispered.

“We could be so powerful together _____.” Kilgrave purring in your ear made the hairs on the back of your neck stand. As he pulled away, you eyed his lips. They looked delicious. You grabbed his suit jacket with both hands and kissed him hard on his lips. He was so soft. His hands found their way to your waist making you straighten your back as if on command. His familiar tongue dominated yours. Your hand scrunched a bunch of his hair on the back of his head. Kilgrave let out a deep moan. One of his large hands trailed up your back making you gasp with delight. He was far beyond anything you’ve ever tasted. You needed more. Kilgrave loosened his grip on you and pulled you by the hand to the car. The both of you entered the back seat and he ordered the driver to go back to his place. As the car roared to life, Kilgrave sat up and watched the road eagerly as his driver weaved in and out of traffic. You watched Kilgrave lick his lips, still trying to taste you. You felt your heart in your throat anticipating what would happen when you’d get to his place.


	6. Misbehave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh more smut. You know you love it.  
> ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What a place it was. Kilgrave’s apartment building loomed before you with a glow of life inside. Neither of you uttered a sound as you made your way into the building. Kilgrave’s driver; Hank held the doors open for the two of you, and then pressed the button for the elevator. You and Kilgrave stood next to each other, itching to tear the clothing from one another. It seemed time had slowed down as you were waiting for the elevator to arrive. It did finally and the three of you stepped inside. Hank pressed the button for the highest number available.  _The Penthouse?_   Your stomach was in knots. After what seemed like too much time, the elevator doors slowly opened and Kilgrave rushes out, bumping into Hank. He stands aside to let his master through. You follow Kilgrave down the short corridor. He stood at the only door on this floor. He swipes his key card and the machine beeps whilst opening the door. Kilgrave stands aside and watches as you enter first. Hank approaches him.

“Keep guard for you know who.  **Do not**  disturb us unless it’s an emergency.” Kilgrave orders and shuts the door in Hank’s face. Hank turns and faces the end of the corridor and stands tall.

This place was amazing. It was huge. You walked slowly down the hall where a large mirror hung on one of the walls. You emerge into the next room. Kilgrave removed his suit jacket and tie and hung them on the coat hanger before following you in. The open kitchen area was to your left up some stairs. It held sparkling granite worktops and a metal fridge. To your right the living room. High skylights showed off the starry night and long windows acted as wallpaper to frame the city in the distance, and the calm pool just outside. The fancy furniture was arranged beautifully and the lights illuminated the place.

“...fuck me” You say in astonishment under your breath. You felt a presence behind you unzipping your dress. Your hair was pushed to one side over your shoulder as Kilgrave’s lips made contact with your neck. You close your eyes and your knees wobbled. You worry Hank may hear the two of you.

“Will he hear us?” You look over to the front door. Kilgrave looks too then his mouth is close to your ear.

“So what if he does?” Kilgrave parts the material to expose your back. He began running his fingers down your skin. Feeling him touch you and his warm breath on you made your face heat up. He stopped half way and slid his hands into the curves of your waist. Making you gasp. The tips of his fingers almost touched before he quickly spun your body to face him. He placed his large hands on your hips and you looked up at his stubbled face. You felt your body aching for more.

“You are magnificent.” He breathes. Kilgrave’s wild eyes didn’t break contact with yours. His curious hands reached around to your backside.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” You say with a smile. Your clumsy fingers began unbuttoning his silky shirt. You pushed it off his hard shoulders revealing his slim muscular body underneath. You took a second to take him in. Yours and Kilgrave’s breathing quickened as your fingertips traced down his chest and over the bumps of his abdomen. Your dress was slipping off your body exposing your shoulders. Kilgrave swallowed, fully aware of this.   
You ran your finger back up to his chest and pushed him playfully causing him to stumble backward. He regained his balance and looked at you with a confused brow. You’re smiling wickedly. He gets the message and removes his belt. He snaps it at his side causing a whipping noise. You jump and your heart pumps blood quicker. Kilgrave watches your wild eyes shifting focus to the belt then back to his face.

“You’ve misbehaved _____” Kilgrave growls giving you an evil stare.

“Yeah?” You say breathless, bending down to untie your heels. Kilgrave can see right down your dress.  You’re now holding your heels in your hand.   
“What are you gonna do about it?” You throw your heels at Kilgrave and run off to hide somewhere. He flinches as he tries to catch them but drops one. He didn’t see which direction you went. He smiles a half smile and the belt and shoes hit the floor. He begins stalking the Penthouse. You hid in the bedroom and closed the door listening to his movements through it. The noises got closer and closer. Your heart was banging against your rib cage as you try to breathe quietly. In your excitement you didn’t notice the open door on the other side of the room. Kilgrave creeped through it and announced his presence.

“Found you.” He said with a stare. You jumped and turned to see a tall shirtless figure. Your back was against the door when he sauntered over to you. Your chest bobbed up and down as you took in deeper breaths. Kilgrave was right in front of you now and noticed your loose dress desperately clinging to your body. He yanked at the drooping neckline.

“Take it off”. You obeyed and slipped your arms out of the dress. It fell to the floor. His arm scooped up your body, causing your back to puff out your chest and lifting your face up to his. You stared at him your body burning despite now only wearing a bra and panties. You could taste him again, his velvety mouth all over yours.

Kilgrave’s hard body pressed yours up against the carved wooden bed frame that almost touched the ceiling. Your fingers combed through his thick hair. Kilgrave’s mouth let slip a moan before sinking his teeth into your neck and pulling one of your legs up. Your knee was parallel to his hip. You pull on his hair with gratification and start to softly rub his crotch. His loud panting and moaning close to your ear makes you quicken your movements down there. He places your leg back down and you unbutton his trousers harshly; he inhales sharply and winces from his sensitivity. You unzip his pants and hover your mouth over his. You tease him with your lips and pull his trousers while you walk slowly to the door. Kilgrave has no choice but to follow. Your hand slips from the material and you open the door. You wander out to another part of the large living room. Kilgrave can still see you from the bedroom and admires your knickers as you sway your hips. You undo your bra and slide the straps off seductively. You’re out of sight before he can see anything so he stumbles after you.

Kilgrave scans the room and sees you through the sliding glass doors that open to the pool. He fumbles the handle and the door swings open. He sees your lacy underwear in a clump on the floor then looks straight ahead. Your back is facing him and he watches you sink down the curved steps into the pool. The heated water laps at your skin and ripples surround your naked body gracefully. Your feet walk the bottom of the pool as you stare at the surrounding beauty that is the city underneath a clear night sky. Kilgrave removes his trousers and underwear before rushing into the pool behind you. It sends a small wave toward you and you smile anticipating his touch. You’re surprised to feel his slender arms scoop you up and twirl you in the pool. You’re giggling before you’re both lost in one another’s eyes. Kilgrave leans in, a piece of dark brown hair flicks down and he kisses you. His grasp weakens letting go of your legs. They wrap around his waist. Kilgrave’s hands grab under your thighs as he mouths your taut nipples. Your head swings back in pleasure before coming back to reunite with his lips. He begins to grind his lengthy shaft between your lips below. You gasp in his mouth and balance yourself by clawing his shoulders. He chuckles then grunts as your nails dig into his flesh from his increased thrusting. Your heavy breathing mixed with quiet moans of his name sends him insane. Your bodies are splashing in the pool and the pit of your stomach aches as you want him to penetrate you already. You soon forget about this as Kilgrave’s fingers apply pressure to your clit. You let out a loud breathy moan before wrapping your arms around his neck. You rest your chin on his shoulder.

“Put it in” You plead in between breaths.

“Patience _____” He replies smugly and drags you out of the pool. Your bodies drip on the bedroom floor and Kilgrave pushes you onto the enormous bed. The tall man is standing and panting. He grabs a familiar metallic packet from a bedside table drawer and tosses it toward you. You scramble for it and tear it open, whilst Kilgrave crawls over to you. You kiss each other on the mouth lazily while your heartbeats increase again. Your hands are brushing his scratchy face as your legs bend on either side of him.  Kilgrave skims your thigh with his hand and squeezes it before moving on to your trembling body. It feels just like your vision but even better. His warm tongue on your skin, his fingers inside you.   
Your shaky hands roll the rubber down his throbbing cock causing him to gasp slightly. Kilgrave begins massaging your area again and you pull at the bed sheets and scream. He was finally inside you. You both exhale sharply and lock eyes before he’s thrusting. His penis was deep inside you and you’re surprised you could take it all. Kilgrave grins and thrusts harder and quicker. You’re both panting hard as his forehead touches yours.  You pull his head down in your hands and lick one hard stroke up his cheek. Kilgrave releases a long growl “You little minx”.

His stubble made you tongue fizz. It’s soon soothed by Kilgrave’s that’s now entered your mouth. He’s thrusting harder casing your hips to jerk uncontrollably. You curl your arms around his upper body and scratch at his back.

“Kilgrave I’m gonna-“ You blurt out.

“Not until I say so” He orders. Your body obeys him and you’re set firmly in a daze of ecstasy. You’re glad he commanded you to wait as you experience one after another, the feeling just before reaching your climax. Your eyes rolled back inside your head from the feeling you couldn’t get enough of. It was incredible. Kilgrave’s panting and moaning was music to your ears. He held his breath and exhaled a few short groans as he releases inside you. He removes himself quickly at an angle so the end of his shaft is pointing upward.

Kilgrave leans in and whispers “Now” and you’re unsure what he’s referring to at first. He flicks his tip with a groan when exiting your opening so it hits your clit just right, sending you to your climax. Kilgrave watches your expressions with satisfaction as he slides up and down in between your lower lips, making you twitch. You release multiple stuttered orgasms as you felt vibrations creep up into your lower stomach causing your head to sink further into the squashy pillows. Your body squirmed and jerked underneath him with pleasure. It was nothing like you’d ever experienced before, it was so intense. Your body was on fire and sticking to Kilgrave’s as your heart rate dropped back to normal. You were out of breath and your lips met his with a passionate kiss. Kilgrave rolled off of you and removes the condom then knots it and flings it on the floor. Just like your vision.   
He’s lying on his back and reaches both hands up above his head to rest them on the pillow.

“That. Was bloody marvellous.” Kilgrave looks over to you, catching his breath. You gazed into his big brown eyes and at his perfect dimly-lit face. You shift your body to curl up to him. Kilgrave pulls the duvet covers over your bodies and you get comfortable.

“When you said “we could be so powerful together”, I wasn’t expecting that. That was... was...” Kilgrave smiled and brought a hand down to start twirling your hair around his long fingers. You were so relaxed and satisfied the sensation was sending you to sleep. Your eyelids were getting heavier and your breathing was calmer. Kilgrave placed his arm down cradling you next to him as he drifted off too. His and your chests rose and fell silently as you both shared unconsciousness.


	7. Old Scotch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a while to get the bit with Jessica to sound right. I'm still not sure if I like it.  
> Thanks for reading regardless. ✌  
> \-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You awoke to a bed all to yourself. Rubbing your eyes, you sit up to yawn and stretch then slide out from the warmth of the duvet. You scan the room trying to find something to wear for now until you find your own clothes. You couldn't see your dress anywhere. You slide open the large mirrored wardrobe door to reveal Kilgrave's clothes. Different shades of purple suits hung on the rails. _He must have a thing with purple._ You push some aside to try and find something less formal and fitted to his physique. You come across a dark navy blue v neck jumper. It was long enough because it was Kilgrave's so it sat slightly lower than your bottom. If you'd stretch or reach up for something it would definitely expose your area. You throw it on as you scour the room for something to wear on your bottom half. Your brain hasn't woken up yet so you forget your panties are still by the pool. You continue to hunt the room for them, looking behind bedside tables and lampshades. You grow increasingly frustrated and tuck your hair behind your ears. You're startled by someone clearing their throat causing you to spin around out of fright. It's Kilgrave. He's leaning in the doorway and spinning your lacy underwear on his finger.

"Looking for these?" He flirts. He stood there wearing some silky grey pyjama bottoms.

"Give them here" You demand with a defeated tone. You reached your hand out flat. The sleeve covered most of your hand from the length of the arms.

"Manners" He tutts. Kilgrave stops spinning the underwear. "Come here." You approach him and approve of his out of place bed hair.

"That's my jumper" He remarks pulling at the material. He hands you your underwear.

"Thanks." Kilgrave watches you slip them on then pinches the jumper pulling you closer to him. His height means you're always looking up at his face. Kilgrave's dark eyes examine yours and he inhales deeply. You do the same.

"Good morning" He smiles breaking the silence.

"Good morning" You yawn and smile up at him shyly.

"Do you want some breakfast?"

"Not right now. What time is it?" You're still staring at each other until Kilgrave turns to find his (probably) expensive watch he's put down somewhere. You watch him hunt it down after following him into the huge living room.

"Ah! Here it is you little devil. It's uh, noon." He looks back at but you don't say anything. You're still not fully awake, so your social skills haven't caught up yet. Kilgrave walks over to the kitchen area and fills the kettle, he sets it down and clicks the button. His long arm is now hanging onto the fridge door handle and he curves his body to face you again.

"D'you want a cuppa?"

"No thanks." You wouldn't say no to some OJ though. You approach the breakfast bar and take a seat on one of the barstools. Your bottom fits snugly in the curve of the cold plastic from the stool. Kilgrave's face is back in the fridge.

"How about some orange juice?"

"Yes please." You perk up before pondering to yourself. _That's weird. Twice that's happened now, where I've thought something in my head and Kilgrave's said it..._

"What's that look for?" Kilgrave was referring to your focused frown as you thought. He placed the glass of orange juice in front of you.

"Just... thinking" You took a glug of the sweet orange liquid.

"About?"

"Whether I can predict thoughts or read minds."

"What's brought you to that conclusion?" He asks as he leans on the counter separating you, making his biceps flex.

You're still wondering and paused before answering him. "When we went to that dress shop-"

"That one with the incredibly creative name?"

"Yes! You said that then too and before you even said it I was thinking the same thing." You said looking up at Kilgrave. He paused.

"From that one coincidence, you've come to the conclusion you can read people's minds?" Kilgrave wasn't convinced and turned to prepare his cup of tea.

"Not just one. Unless it is a coincidence and I'm reading way too into it..."

"What were the others?" Kilgrave stirs his tea. When the teaspoon hit the sides of the cup it made little tinkly noises. He faces you.

"Just now, before. You offered me some orange juice, I was thinking I could really go for some orange juice right about now." You look Kilgrave in the eye. He takes a sip from his cup and raises a brow. "I don't know. I'm probably just over thinking things. I have no idea what I'm capable of." You rest your elbow on the counter and your head in your hand. You let out a huff. Kilgrave sips his tea unsure what to say.

"Add it to the list and if it's a reoccurring thing, we'll reconsider it." His gorgeous English accent made you feel much better. You thought you'd be over that by now. "So!" Kilgrave said with a high pitched tone, then going back to normal. "What's the plan for today?"

"I was thinking we start on developing my abilities." You finish the glass of orange juice.

"Great! Any ideas?"

"Nope." You hop off the barstool and head toward the bathroom. You remove Kilgrave's jumper you were wearing and hoped he watched you walk away. He did, and he growled into his cup. You shower quickly then cocoon your body with a soft towel. You gave your teeth a good go over with some toothpaste and the extra toothbrush Kilgrave kindly provided for you. He jumped in the shower not long after you. While you waited you used your finger to draw a small heart on the steamed up mirror. You listened to him sing and hum a song to himself whilst showering. He sang every note out of tune but you didn't care. He wasn't in there for long and stepped out in a cloud of steam. It faded away revealing his naked lanky figure. Kilgrave ran his fingers through his soaking hair to stop it dripping in his face. You stood in awe of him, your eyes slowly creeping down.

"Can I help you?" He says with a sly grin as he stood there casually.

"I was uh..." You couldn't focus on your words. You cleared your throat as he wrapped a towel around himself. "I was... gonna go in a minute. Maybe do some research on my abilities."

"Why can't you do that here?" Kilgrave started approaching you. You noticed the hair on his head had a slight kink in it when it was wet. He stood in front of you and pulled at your towel gently to bring you just that little bit closer to his body. Your heart began beating faster as your hands made their way up his fore arms. You looked into his eyes.

"Because there's too many _distractions_ here" You breathe. You could feel yourself getting worked up again and decided to pull away from him. "Don't get me wrong, last night. I enjoyed myself."

"I could tell." He flirted with a look which made it that much harder to resist pulling his towel from him and pushing him against the wall to plant your lips on his.

"I need a change of clothes." You weren't sure if this reason was to convince him or yourself.

"I have no problem with you wearing the bare minimum." Kilgrave leaned in and kissed you softly, his lips were still hot from the shower. He pulled away slowly and you sighed. You floated away with a grin on your face and into the bedroom to change into your dress and knickers. You went to find your shoes and clutch and headed for the door.

"Come back here _____." Kilgrave ordered with a stern tone. You obeyed of course and walked back to him stood not far behind you. "I don't get a goodbye?"

"I'll see you soon." You leaned in to peck him on the lips but it wasn't enough for Kilgrave and he pulled you in for one that lasted longer. Your hands pressed up against his warm naked chest. Kilgrave held your hand after you pulled away. It slipped from his as you inched yourself away. Both his and your stretched out arms eventually swung back to their separate bodies after you let go.

-

You made your way back to your apartment building. When you got in you removed your shoes and opened your laptop on your double bed but before you could turn it on there was a loud and rather aggressive banging on your door. You were confused and frankly a little scared. You applied the chain latch and spoke through the door.

"What do you want? Who is it?"

"It's Jessica. Open up!" She banged her fist on the door again in her impatience. The door rattled and you were worried it would fall off its hinges.

"Stop! I'm tired ok." You lied.

"Just do it _____." She sounded serious. Maybe she needed your help? You undid the latch and opened the door. You were greeted with an angry yet worried expression on Jessica's fair face. You admired the loose curls in her dark hair. "Did that bastard hurt you?" She spat, clenching her fists either side of her.

"What? Who?"

"Kilgrave! I saw him walk off with you in the park yesterday after you shouted at him. What did that asshole make you do?" Jessica's rage was building. You tried to change the subject.

"What were you doing watching him?"

"None of your business."

"Ok." You were going to shut the door in her rude face before she held up her arm and kept the door open. No matter how hard you tried, the door wouldn't budge.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what he did to you."

"I'm fine. He didn't hurt me if that's what you think" You plead. Jessica's strength on the door lessened and she broke eye contact.

"Pretty dress. Looks expensive." Jessica's comment referred to the dress Kilgrave's credit card bought for you that you were still wearing. Her hazel eyes stared you down for a while waiting for a reply.

"I just got in. I'm knackered." You tried getting rid of her. Jessica didn't utter a word and didn't move a muscle. "It was a gift ok? I haven't changed yet."

"From Kilgrave?"

"Yes." You say defeated, still holding onto the door.

Jessica sighed. "You're either an idiot in love, or you're being conned. Which amount to pretty much the same thing."

"You wanna come in? My arm's getting tired." You walk away leaving Jessica in the doorway. She steps in and closes the door. You go to your bedroom and change into some sweatpants a comfy sports bra and pull on a loose fitting shirt. You emerge from your room and begin to tie your hair up.

"You want something to drink?" You offer politely, walking to the kitchen area.

"What you got?"

"Not much. Uh water, juice, leftover champagne?" You say looking in the fridge.

"I'm fine thanks." Jessica shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and she watched you scour your empty kitchen cupboards. Maybe someone who lived here before you left something better behind. You see a bottle at the back of the cupboard and pull it out. It was half a bottle of scotch. You blow on it.

"Does scotch go off?" You ask eyeing the faded sticker. You look up at Jessica and she shrugs.

"Never had a bottle last long enough to find out." She replies. You poured two glasses of the golden liquid and slid hers across your breakfast bar. She caught it, looked at you and took a mouthful.

"Why don't you want me seeing him?" You finally blurt out.

"He'll destroy you just like everything else he comes into contact with." Jessica's answer was vague. You sipped the scotch and coughed as it burned your throat. "Look, you don't know him like I do." Jessica's dark eyes shifted from yours then to the floor.

"So tell me!" You were becoming more and more frustrated. She wouldn't tell you why but she was pretty adamant you end whatever relationship you had with Kilgrave. Jessica finished her drink and shifted her jaw.

"You've probably worked out by now that he ... _controls people_ -" Jessica went to take another gulp of her drink before being surprised by your reply.

"Yeah. He's like me."

"What?" Jessica's glass hit the table.

"I've never met anyone else in my life that's gifted like me."

"You're gifted?" Jessica's finger points at you in disbelief.

"I see things."

"What like a psychic?"

"Not exactly, I don't know. I haven't quite got the hang of it yet."

"And you've never met anyone else gifted? You think you and Kilgrave are the only ones with gifts?"

"Well, yeah..."

"The last time I counted, I had 99 gifted friends in this borough alone." Jessica broke eye contact and walked into the living room. She crossed her arms and glanced out the large windows of your apartment.

"What, really? 99? That's awesome! How did you meet them?" Jessica's information, if it was true, made you very happy.

"We have our own chat room; thosegiftedfreaks dot com" She remarked sarcastically. You rolled your eyes. _We? Does that mean Jessica is gifted too?_

"You don't have to be rude."

"I'm rude to everyone." She was staring out the window.

"What do you want Jessica?" You exhaled. Her attitude was boring you. She turned and gave you a serious look.

"I'm here to tell you, **again** , stay the hell away from Kilgrave. If you know what's good for you you'll listen to me this time." You didn't say anything. You weren't sure what to say. Jessica was waiting. "You have no idea do you?"

"No I don't. It would probably make more sense if you'd give me more information to work with!" You raised your voice in your impatience.

"I don't know you well enough to start braiding each other's hair and swap stories about the twisted history I share with that prick... Plus you don't have near enough whiskey." Jessica slid her empty glass back to you and began to leave. Her boots stopped at your door and she looked over her shoulder. "Don't say I didn't warn you." She pulled the door hard and it shut with a thump. You stood there for a few minutes before being startled by a vibrating feeling in your sweatpants. It was your phone you'd forgotten slipping it into your pocket earlier. You read the screen; it said one unread message from Kilgrave. You tap it and it opens.

"You forgot something at my place. You'll have to come back right now to get it." You're confused and think hard about what it was that was so urgent. It wasn't too long until he sent another text message, this time a picture. It was of your bra on his bed. It made you smile.


	8. Death & Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Notes from the author~  
> This one's a long'un too, so strap in and grab some popcorn or something.  
> Thanks for sticking with me and my silly story. I hope you're enjoying the story as much as I am writing it.  
> ENJOY ✌  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your research entailed mostly of using a popular search engine and sifting through the questionable websites it yielded. They were mostly tacky looking websites that advertised clairvoyants and mediums. You were able to find a few reliable sources of information, you even searched for "thosegiftedfreaks[dot]com" but sadly it brought up nothing. You took a break after a few hours, made yourself a sandwich and read over your notes. The word anchor and trigger came up a lot. A couple websites mentioned that creating one of each that is personal to you and related to your own experiences may help to develop psychic abilities. The anchor would work on keeping you grounded afterwards and giving you less of a beating when performing your gift, whilst the trigger would somehow bring an episode to the surface. The trigger will give you more control as to when the episodes would occur. You finished your meal and decided to look into somehow blocking out Kilgrave's commands. Blocking out mind control abilities using psychic gifts is a pretty specific subject to search for. Even though the researching side of things was kind of a drag, you were also motivated to be a better part of Kilgrave's team.

You were slightly worried at the same time; whether you weren't really meant to see the future. No one else does, and maybe being able to see something happen before it actually does may do more bad than good. A thought creeped up in the back of your mind; what if this path I take with my ability, is one that will only bring destruction and chaos? What if this gift is actually a curse?

Just then, your phone started to ring. Caller: Kilgrave. You answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello you. Are you studying hard?" He said mockingly. You'd be a bit annoyed if it wasn't for his accent.

"Yes. I've got some interesting stuff actually that might enhance my powers."

"That's fantastic! Soon we'll be able to go wherever and do what we want, when we want to. Now I must warn you before-hand, there will probably be consequences, but that's where your gift comes in." You could feel his excitement through the phone.

"Right." You brush off his last statement and continue, "I need to speak to you about Jessica -"

"Jones? What about her?"

"She doesn't give up does she?" You laugh.

"What's she done?"

"She keeps warning me to stop seeing you and to stay away."

"You're not going to listen to her are you?" Kilgrave's tone was firm.

"Of course not."

"That's my girl!" Hearing Kilgrave's voice say those words and so close to your ear made you blush a bit. You both paused and you smiled. "I've got an idea..." His voice got deep and sexy. Like he was telling you a dirty secret. "Stay there I'm coming over."

"What? Why?" He'd hung up before you replied and you sighed from annoyance. You jumped off your bed and untied your hair that had been drying. It fell down messily. You tried to correct it in your mirror. You did what you could and it didn't look that bad, tying it up when it was damp styled it while it dried. It had some volume and a slight curl at the ends. You pulled on some jeans to replace your sweatpants, and placed your laptop and phone down on the coffee table in the living room. You glanced up at your large windows.  _I should really invest in some blinds or something._  You grabbed a bottle from the fridge and poured yourself a glass of what was left of your champagne your parents bought you. They bought it as a good luck present for beginning a new part of your life in a new place. You reminisced and slumped down onto your comfy couch. After turning on the TV you flicked through the channels to find anything interesting. You looked over at the window to appreciate the beauty of the city. It's so pretty at night and your windows provided a very decent view. You sipped your flat champagne that was more like wine at this point but you didn't care, and settled on a comedy panel show that you enjoy. You lifted your legs up onto the couch to get comfortable.

An hour had gone by and you weren't aware until the show you were watching had finished. You glanced at your phone to see if Kilgrave had left any indication of when or why he decided he was coming to visit. Nothing, until you hear a quiet tapping on your front door. Finishing your glass you slid your phone into the back pocket of your jeans and approached your door. You look through the peephole. There was a tall bulky man you didn't recognise standing outside. He was wearing a black suit and tie, he'd fit in well with the FBI or Men in Black or something.

"Who is it? What do you want? It's late." It was about 9pm to be exact.

"Don't be alarmed ma'am, we're here to assist-"

"Shh-don't say my name you bloody pillock." You recognised Kilgrave's English accent. "_____, it's me, let us in." You were confused as to why they were being so quiet, but complied and opened the door. Kilgrave stood outside with his hands hung behind his back. A dark blue collar peaked out from under a long winter coat and scarf he was wearing, and his hair was slicked back. You saw two men dressed similar to the one you saw through the peephole, standing either side of Kilgrave. There was one of them near the elevator too. Kilgrave smiled at you "Come on get your shoes, they'll get the rest of your things."

"What's going on?" You slipped on your boots and watched confounded as the two men that were either side of Kilgrave slide past you and enter your apartment. Kilgrave stepped closer to you.

"They're bringing your stuff to my place."

"Why?"

"Because you live with me now."

"I live with you now." You agree with Kilgrave in that familiar dull voice. One of the men handed you your coat from your bedroom, you looked down at it in your hand and were about to ask further questions, before Kilgrave spoke first.

"Put it on, it's nippy outside." You pulled on your long black coat and zipped it up. "Come on then, dinner's nearly ready." Kilgrave held out his hand, you glance back at the two strangers in your apartment. They're quickly stuffing your clothes, trinkets and expensive belongings into bags and suitcases they found in your apartment. Kilgrave grabbed your hand and pulled you a short way down the hall before stopping. You see him stare at the man in the suit next to the elevator. The man glances in the direction of Jessica's apartment and back at Kilgrave, nods and then presses the button for the lift. Kilgrave proceeds with you and you both step into the elevator.

The elevator whirs and you both stumble trying to balance from the sudden clunk it makes before it begins descending. You stare up at Kilgrave, waiting for him to explain himself. His stubbly jaw clenches. He can feel your eyes on him but looks everywhere else but at you.

"This place is a death trap." He remarks filling the uncomfortable silence.

"What are you doing? I liked that apartment." You stopped holding hands with Kilgrave.

"We could get another one just like it if you don't want to stay in my Penthouse."

"You don't get it; I saved up for ages to get that place. My own place. It was mine. I picked it out and everything."

Kilgrave was annoyed and sighed. "Stop whining _____." You frowned and watched the floor numbers tick down to zero. The elevator doors squeaked open and Kilgrave waited for you to exit first. You walked down the lobby and out the doors. The cold hit you hard and you exhaled sharply, forcing out a puff of breath. You watched it float away and noticed it started to snow. Snow is your favourite weather, has been since you were very young. You remember being in a car park with your mother when you were 3 or 4. It was the first time you fell in love with snow. Your mother would tell this story every Christmas; "You were so small, all bundled up, you had your wellies on, your little green coat zipped right up under your chin. It was so puffy it made it difficult to put your little arms down all the way so they'd stick out, and a bobble hat. It was the first time you'd seen snow. You stood there with your head staring straight up to the sky. Your mouth was open in awe as these big huge snowballs covered you from head to toe!"

You snapped out of your flashback as a piece of material was wrapped around your neck. You look down to see Kilgrave stood a step below you. You hadn't gone down the steps outside the building yet. He called to you before, but you were staring at the snow and were lost in thought so you ignored him.

"It suits you." He says adjusting the scarf around your neck. Kilgrave walks away and opens a car door. He gets in the familiar Jeep and waves at you to hurry up. He then brushes some snow off his coat. You take your time and approach the car questioning whether you've made the right choice here.

-

Kilgrave opens the Penthouse door for you. You hang your coat and his scarf on the coat hanger and Kilgrave hangs his.

"Home sweet home" He's trying to lighten the mood but you're still pissed off at him. You remain quiet and head to the living room. It was still beautiful regardless of your mood. You sink into the expensive couch, kick off your shoes and begin playing on your phone trying to ignore Kilgrave. He's standing there watching you. "We're having sweet potato for tea, with veggies and all the trimmings." Kilgrave calls to the cook in the kitchen area, probably commanded to be there. "Smells delicious!"

"Not hungry." You mumble. Your eyes are still glued to your phone. Kilgrave grows impatient to your attitude and quickly slides your phone out of your hands. You scramble to try to snatch it back from him but one of his long arms holds the phone far away and the other pushes on your shoulder to keep you from reaching it. "What the fuck Kilgrave? Give it back!"

"You'll get it back once you calm down." He slides your phone into the back pocket of his pants.

"Anything else you want to take from me while you're at it?" You're kneeling on the sofa so you're eye level with Kilgrave.

"Those clothes you're wearing," His hand tugs at your loose shirt.

"What about them?" You're still snappy.

"Off. I'd like to take them off." Kilgrave gives you a look that would easily have made knots in your stomach before but right now, you were unimpressed.

"Don't. I'm still mad at you." You slide back down into the sofa. Kilgrave raises his voice as he stands in front of you.

"What for _____? That building you call home was falling apart! I practically saved you!"

"Saved me? You  **made**  me leave. I had no choice! You said you wouldn't use your powers to control me. I really liked it there Kilgrave!" The volume in your voice rose with his.

"I needed you to be here!" There was brief pause in all the shouting.

"...Why?" You ask still confused.

"So Jessica wouldn't poison your mind with her vindictive lies!" Kilgrave took a seat on the coffee table opposite you. He was calmer now. "... She was getting too close to you."

"She seemed nice, when she wasn't being rude."

"Hmm. Yes she was. Very nice. Then she changed." Kilgrave changed the subject. "I suppose, killing a person does that."

"She's killed someone?"

"She punched someone really hard. It's not that exciting." Kilgrave brought this up but acted like it was nothing and tried to brush it off.

"Jesus... h-how did she do that?"

"She twatted someone really hard. Did you not hear what I just said?"

You rolled your eyes. "I heard you, I was just wondering how."

"With her gift of course."

"So... what, does she have like super strength?" Your anger died down now.

Kilgrave nods. "She can also jump really high. I'm not sure if that's a thing by itself or because she's strong so she can propel herself with her strength..." Kilgrave began to ramble.

"And  _she_  was the one warning me to stay away from you?" You joked.

"Exactly!" Kilgrave smiled at you.

"You're not off the hook yet" You say light-heartedly. He moves to sit next to you. His arm stretches out behind you and rests on the couch. He tilts his head and gives you his puppy dog eyes.

"What shall I do to make it better?" His fingers found their way into your hair.

"I guess that sort of helps." You close your eyes, completely at ease with Kilgrave playing with your hair. You let him slide for now. You reach up your hand and slide it over his short dark hairs on his jaw and press your lips onto his. You share a calm loving kiss with Kilgrave on the couch as a means of forgiveness. His long arm moves from the back of the couch to around your body and slides into the curve of your waist. It feels nice. You both break away from one another's lips and watch something on the huge flat screen tv, it doesn't matter what it was. You just liked being snuggled up to big bad Kilgrave. His fingers lifted your shirt up slightly to expose your hip, and started making circles on your skin. You rested your head and could hear his heartbeat. You started drifting off on Kilgrave's warm body before he nudged you. You looked up at his handsome face still dazed slightly.

"Dinner's ready!" He kissed you on the top of your head. You yawned and dragged your feet to the dining table. The table was made of glass; upon it were a bottle of wine and two glasses, and the chairs were all white. You sunk into the velvet cushion and Kilgrave did opposite you. The cook served you your plates and you admired the beauty and colours. "You can leave now." Kilgrave says shooing the cook away. You kick his shin under the table. "Ow!" Kilgrave frowns at you. You ignore him.

"Thank you." You say to the cook making him smile politely, and then he leaves.

"That'll probably leave a bruise" Kilgrave rubbed his sore leg.

"Stop whining Kilgrave." You say, mimicking him slightly from before. Kilgrave raised his brow.

"Touché". The both of you tucked into the meal while you poured the wine. Kilgrave started playing footsie with you. You enjoyed it and joined him.

-

"Right, so from what I gathered from my research today, I need an anchor and a trigger of some sort," Kilgrave gave you blank stare as he chewed a mouthful of food. You sigh and continue "the trigger is what I need to bring on the visions, and an anchor is something that'll keep me grounded afterwards so my head doesn't explode." Kilgrave swallowed his mouthful and nodded.

"Gotcha."

"The trigger has to be somewhat related to whatever it is I'm trying to see, and I assume the anchor has to be something constant."

"Constant?"

"Yeah, like something that'll always be there and something that calms me down. Oh, and they have to be something strong and meaningful to my own experiences."

"Is that all?" Kilgrave scoffed and poked his food with his fork.

"I know. It's a lot to take in. I suppose meditation wouldn't hurt too, with the whole calming down anchor thing because it helps clear your mind." You nudge Kilgrave's hand with enthusiasm. "We could do it together!"

"We already did  _it_  together." You hear Kilgrave mumble into his glass as he sips his wine.

"I meant meditating." You raise your eyebrows as Kilgrave's eyes meet yours. He sets his glass down and leans into the table to be closer to your face. You're both done eating.

"Have you decided on what your anchor and trigger could be?"

"I haven't the foggiest..." You bite your lip and rotate the neck of your wine glass with your fingers on the table.

"Why don't I be your anchor-thing?" You give Kilgrave an unsure look. "I'd be there to guide you back to the present or reality or whatever."

"It's a good idea. Maybe hearing your voice would help, but you don't exactly calm me down Kilgrave. I'll probably need something more... stable."

"How will you ever know if you don't give it a try? Have you practiced yet?"

"No, not yet. Why?"

"Have a go now."

"Now?"

"Yeah now. Think about me, really hard."

"Ok." You close your eyes and relax your body. You inhale deeply and exhale, clearing your mind of anything else but Kilgrave; his smell, his voice, his face, his body. You can visualise him and only him. In your mind's eye he's standing there, tall and wearing a purple suit. You stare at him in your mind for a while. The Kilgrave you see in your head just stares back at you and raises his eyebrows, as if to say "Well? Have you done it yet?" You let out a huff and open your eyes.

"Argh! Nothing's happening!" You bang your palms on the table in your anger.

"You're too impatient _____. Try again." Kilgrave is stern but places his hand on top of one of yours. You try again. Closing your eyes you see Kilgrave in front of a blank white background. He's sitting this time on an invisible chair and rests one of his legs on the other. He's wearing a royal blue suit with a black shirt underneath. The shirt is buttoned up right to his Adam’s apple and around his neck is a tie. You wait to see if anything else appears, first a flimsy metal chair appeared underneath him then a table next to him. They looked similar to outdoor furniture you might see outside a café.  
Kilgrave in the present was studying your face intensely. He saw your eyes under your eyelids dart left to right and up and down. It was similar to watching someone when they were sleeping. Suddenly, present Kilgrave was startled as you ball your hands into a fist and your lungs force you to take in a huge breath.

The background surrounding the Kilgrave you could see in your head was leaking into the whole picture. Your heart pounded inside your chest as the image became clearer. It was midday. Kilgrave was sat at a table outside a café somewhere in Hell's Kitchen. He slid a bunch of photographs out of a yellow package and flicked through them. His expression was focused so he frowned as he scanned the pictures he held in his hands. In the present your nails uncontrollably scratched at the glass table. You were wondering why your brain decided to show you this image, but then it became apparent. You hear a voice you recognise shout "Hey shithead! Over here!" You mouthed the words not long after hearing them. You're trying to turn to look around in your vision to see where it came from but you can't, your view is fixed on Kilgrave. You watch a glare spread across the face of the Kilgrave in your mind, and see a dark figure walk quickly in front of your view of him.

Kilgrave now clutches at his neck. His face soon curdles to an expression of terror. He stands steadying himself with the table and his hand still on the side of his neck. Then, in the vision Kilgrave falls to his knees on the solid sidewalk, bringing the table down with him. The sight makes you gasp in the present. You watch Kilgrave fall forward in your vision eventually smacking his face on the pavement and he doesn't move. Your mouth screamed for help over and over as you watched Kilgrave's lifeless body lay on the ground.

To Kilgrave in the present tense, your eyes were closed and screaming for help. He became very fearful and tried to shake you to wake you up but it was no use. The background you saw faded quickly and the image disappeared like leaves being blown away in the wind. You opened your streaming eyes and saw Kilgrave's face from the present coming back into focus. His dark brown eyes were wide and his face was very close to yours. Your hearing was coming back slowly with the sound of Kilgrave's concerned voice filling your ears.

"_____! STOP! You're hurting yourself! STOP IT!" Kilgrave was knelt in front of you, he must've turned your seat and eventually stopped shaking your body to try to get you back to this reality. He didn't know what else to do. He'd stopped shaking you but his grasp was still firm on your upper arms. He stared at you, speechless. Kilgrave's thumbs wiped away your tears and he held your face. You blinked a few times and looked down and opened your hands. You're fists were so tight during the vision your nails dug in and pierced your flesh. Droplets of blood ran down from your palms to the backs of your hands and fell to the shiny wooden floor. You felt your nose get wet too and wiped the trickling blood with the back of your hand, whilst Kilgrave hurried off to grab a dish towel. He helped you to the couch and placed the dish towel on your hands and gently rolled your fingers over it. Kilgrave took a seat on the coffee table in front of you and held your balled up hands for a short while to apply pressure to the bleeding.

"Bloody hell." He breathed.

"Literally." You laughed. Kilgrave wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"What the fuck did you see?" Kilgrave watched you break eye contact and stare at the floor. He pulled your head back up with his hand on your chin. Your watery eyes met his and he leaned in with worry.

"I think, I saw you... dying." You bit your lip to try to stop yourself from crying as your mind replayed cruel snippets of the images you just saw. Kilgrave didn't say anything. He took a seat next to you and held you close as you sobbed into his shirt. Still clutching the dish cloth as you sobbed, Kilgrave rocked you back and forth and shushed you like a baby.

"I'm still here. Quiet down now. It's alright." His voice was like honey. You took deeper breaths as you calmed down and stopped crying. Kilgrave's warmth and heartbeat comforted you. He was alive. You eventually synced your breathing with Kilgrave's and dreaded the pain that always comes after you've had a vision. Your head was still pounding but nothing like you've experienced in the past. You waited and waited, but there was nothing. You begin to think Kilgrave was on to something when he suggested repressing the visions and trying to prevent them coming may be the reason for the serious pain that followed. You did bring on this vision yourself and didn't feel any pain, not physical anyway like before now. The exhaustion still lingered though; you couldn't get rid of that. After going through something so emotionally draining and crying so hard, you were bound to be.

You could hardly stand to walk the short distance to the bedroom. Thankfully Kilgrave didn't let of go you, not even when he helped you out of your tight jeans. He tucked you into the king size bed and laid very close next to you. He stroked your hair, and it didn't take you long to fall asleep. When Kilgrave was sure you were unconscious, he kissed you on the forehead and whispered "See you in the morning, pickle." Kilgrave left you to sleep and watched his goons arrive with your belongings.


	9. Tiny Baby Pancake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Notes from the author~  
> Hi, long time no see! I've been busy with jobs and blah but here's some fluff to calm your nerves.  
> Thanks for sticking around, love you.  
> \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You opened your eyes to see a rather dark bedroom. The Penthouse was silent so it must’ve been early morning. You turn over to see Kilgrave sleeping on his back peacefully next to you. You could feel his warmth radiating from the duvet you shared. He was topless and had one arm stretched up above his head to rest on his pillow. You watched his chest rise and fall for a few minutes just thankful he was still breathing. You didn’t notice he’s peeping with one of his eyes to see you staring at him.

“Take a picture” Kilgrave mumbled as he became more conscious.

“I can’t. You still have my phone.” You whisper softly. Kilgrave replies with a groan and then stretches and rubs his eyes before turning his head on his pillow to face you. His thick chocolatey hair is sticking up and down in places.

“'Ello you.” He smiles.

“Hello.” You smile back at him staring into his beautiful brown eyes.

“Are you feeling any better?” Kilgrave’s large hand was rubbing your upper arm sympathetically.

“Yes. Loads. That sleep really helped. It usually does.” You yawn.

“Good.” Kilgrave leaned in, shifted some of your hair out of your face and kissed you on the forehead. You snuggled up to him so his arm wrapped around you and his hand was in your hair. The both of you laid there just breathing. Your head fit snugly under his chin. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

“I think so.” Kilgrave was still cuddling you.

“Only if you’re sure.” Kilgrave stopped stroking your hair and pulled away to look down at you in the eye. He wasn’t pressuring you which made you feel at ease.

“I’m sure.” You give Kilgrave a warm grin and sat up against the cushiony bed frame above the pillows. “What do you want to know?”

“I’m intrigued to know what it was like, was it similar to watching a film?” Kilgrave sat up too, exposing more of his body.

“It started off like a white room; I could only see you sitting on an invisible chair.”

“Oh. That’s odd, so I was floating?” Kilgrave ran a hand through his brown locks. The two of you didn’t break eye contact.

“Yeah but not for long. A chair appeared underneath you and then a table next to you. Then I felt the rush I told you about, the one I usually feel before I see the whole picture. The background bled into the scene like it was being painted really fast in front of me and then I could hear the surroundings like I was standing there, opposite you.”

“What did you see that was so upsetting?”

“What I saw was pretty calm to begin with; you were sitting outside what looked like a café somewhere in Hell’s Kitchen looking through what I assume were photographs or papers from a package. Then I heard a woman yelling, I recognised her voice but couldn’t put my finger on it. She yelled “Hey shithead, over here!” Then I saw a figure, I couldn’t make out the face, that walked in front of my view of you. When he moved you stood with your hand on your neck, then you collapsed and smacked your face on the pavement. You weren’t moving. I couldn’t do anything.” You went quiet as you stared off past Kilgrave, replaying the image of him falling and laying there motionless. Kilgrave noticed this and tried to cheer you up.

“Alright. So what you’re saying is, your vision was warning us to stay clear of Hell’s Kitchen’s questionable, some might say dodgy looking café’s.”

You were unimpressed and annoyed that Kilgrave didn’t take this as seriously as you did. “This isn’t funny Kilgrave. Someone’s going to try and kill you. Whoever you’ve pissed off, you should either apologise to them as quickly as possible or get the fuck out of Hell’s Kitchen for while. Maybe that’ll prevent or change what I saw from happening...”

“If it ever actually _does_ happen, that is.” Kilgrave mutters. You can’t understand why he isn’t as worried as you are.

“What?” You say sternly.

“You said so yourself _____, the images you see aren’t always understandable in the moment. It becomes clearer afterwards. You said they link up with random occurrences that happen after the vision.” _Was he really brushing this off? Like, what I saw was useful but he’s not bothered by it?!_

“That doesn’t mean what I saw can’t still happen Kilgrave! Jesus, I thought this was the whole point of us working together; I’d let you know of any consequences that I might see in my visions, that are due to **your** recklessness. Getting assassinated is a pretty bad fuck up if you ask me-”

“My life is threatened quite frequently by others _____. I’ve gotten used to it. Nothing extreme happens unless _I_ say so.”

“This wasn’t a threat Kilgrave! This was something that may happen to you without warning; it was so fast, you couldn’t do anything-”

Kilgrave tried to hide his panic so he came across as irritable. He raised his voice and his hand to stop you talking. “Alright! Just... let me think.” He takes a breath to cool down and runs his long fingers through his hair, scrunching his brown locks. “Believe it or not _____, I’ve managed to piss off a number of people,”

“I can believe it.” You say slyly.

“Haha” Kilgrave laughs sarcastically. “Keeping a note of the person’s name that’s threatened your life, isn’t something that comes to mind that often.” You didn’t appreciate his sarcasm. “They’re usually _dealt with_ before they can try anything.”

You’re still worried and place your hand on Kilgrave’s that’s resting on the mattress. He looks into your eyes. “Think, please. It has to be pretty recent; otherwise I wouldn’t have seen it.” You watched him think for a while as he scratched his stubbly chin.

“... Jones.” He growled. Kilgrave’s voice scared you a little.

“Jessica? Why would she want you dead?”

Kilgrave pulled his hand away from underneath yours with some force, it made you jump slightly. He raised them both while he spoke. “I probably pissed her off at some point, one way or another. She’s such a hot head.” That was believable but too vague.

“You can’t think of anything specific as to why your ex would want to kill you in broad daylight, in public?” You’re unconvinced of Kilgrave’s uncertainty. He shrugs his shoulders and does a strange expression with his mouth as if to say I don’t know. He breaks eye contact and continues.

“Nothing’s really sticking out to me.... I treated her well when we were together. Took her to eat at all the best places, we stayed in 5 star hotels-“

“Alright.” You interrupted. This made Kilgrave look back at you confused as why you were annoyed suddenly. You didn’t really want to listen to him reminisce about past relationships.

“We had our ups and downs, just like every other couple...” You frowned at Kilgrave feeling he was holding back on something he wasn’t telling you. Kilgrave leaned in and looked you in the eye. “Forget about Jessica Jones.” Kilgrave’s command was unintentional as he was just trying to bring the subject back to your gifts, but it worked in his favour. Every memory you ever had of Jessica Jones was stripped from your brain. You’d never seen her face or heard her voice. The name Jessica Jones was foreign to you now. “Right, so your visions whilst you’re in them, you can only see and hear what’s going on?”

You try to recall what the last topic of conversation was but couldn’t. “It depends what my brain shows me. The one I had earlier, I could only see and hear what was going on. But the one I had not long after I met you, I could see, hear, smell and feel _everything_.” You waited a short while before Kilgrave responded.

“So, how was I in your first vision?” Kilgrave raised his brow waiting for you to blush.

“You were pretty good.” You grinned looking back at him.

“That must’ve been strange. Feeling us make sweet, sweet love before we actually, did.”

“I enjoyed it at the time, but then the pain afterwards kind of ruined it.”

“You didn’t seem in much physical pain after this one.” Kilgrave placed his palm on your forehead briefly to see if he could feel any heat.

“No I wasn’t which surprised me too. There was some pain in my head, similar to a migraine; it was uncomfortable but nothing near as bad as I’ve had before.” You rubbed your temple. “I think you were on to something when you suggested bringing on my visions may reduce the pain that comes afterwards. It still made me really tired though.”

“Have you found a way to ignore my commands?”

“Not yet.” You try to suppress a yawn but it escapes you.

“Go back to sleep, we’ll work on it tomorrow and you can tell all about this first vision you had of me.”

“Ok.” You smile politely at Kilgrave then settle back down onto your soft pillow and fall asleep again. Kilgrave tucks some of your hair behind your ear before he too drifts into unconsciousness.

-

Your stomach growls in the late morning and wakes you up, so you slide out of the bed that holds a sleepy Kilgrave and drag your feet to the bathroom to freshen up. When you’re finished splashing water on your face you notice the faint image of the heart you drew on the steamy mirror from your last visit. You could make out a smiley face inside the heart you don’t remember drawing and smile to yourself assuming Kilgrave added to it. You leave the bathroom and head to the kitchen almost falling over your suitcases and bags that were dumped in the hall. One of the suitcases fell over and made a loud noise on the hard floor. You tell the suitcase to shush before hearing Kilgrave stir from his disturbed slumber.

“What the bloody hell was that?” You hear him stumble toward the bedroom door that leads to the hall and he flung it open. You looked up at him; he squinted at the light his eyes hadn’t adjusted to yet and scratched the back of his head making his thick hair stick up. You held back a laugh. It was so refreshing to see him so well, normal. You’re used to seeing Kilgrave all dressed up in an expensive suit and with his perfect hair. Seeing him again in a pair of silky pyjama bottoms with his hair sticking up every which way made you feel less out of place next to him.

“Sorry, I just walked into the suitcase. You hungry? I’m in the mood for pancakes.” You rubbed your rumbly tummy.

“I wouldn’t mind some pancakes, thanks love.” Kilgrave replied mid yawn. He began to stretch making his muscles on his body tense. The sight made your heart beat quicker. You swallowed and searched your suitcases for some sweatpants to warm your bare legs. Kilgrave pulled on one of his jumpers and entered the bathroom. After finding and pulling on your sweatpants you made your way to the kitchen, tied your hair into a messy bun and made a start on the pancake mix. You’re surprised to find the ingredients in the Penthouse kitchen cupboards. They must’ve been left here from the last person who made him pancakes.

You try your best not to spill any ingredients but when you open the flour it just seems to get everywhere anyway. It’s on the counter and accidentally on your face when you’ve wiped it with the back of your hand. You’re too focused to notice Kilgrave has emerged from the bathroom after attempting to tame his hair and approaches you. He’s leaning, watching you almost drop bowls and utensils.

“Have you made pancakes before?” Kilgrave pipes up and startles you.

“Nope!” You pop the p cheerfully while deciding which ingredient to add to the mixing bowl first.

“Me neither.” He confesses.

“My mum’s shown me a million times but I can never remember.” You place the bowl on the counter. “I think it’s just flour, eggs, milk and bit of sugar.” You point at the ingredients as you list them to Kilgrave. He’s looking over your shoulder at them.

“That sounds right.” He’s closer to you now and notices the flour on your face. He lets out a short laugh and wipes your cheek. “The flour is supposed go to in the pancake batter _____”. His large hand lingers on your skin and you feel your cheek warming up underneath his hand. You felt your heart beat speed up and decide to surprise Kilgrave and yourself. You rest your hands on his shoulders while you balance on your tiptoes and reach up to kiss him on his lips. He’s surprised at first then melts into the kiss, wrapping his arms around you. You pull away and look into his eyes for a brief moment then turn your attention back to the pancakes, like nothing happened. He inhales deeply and makes a short sigh. “What was that for?”

“Dunno, I just felt like it.” You turn your head toward him slightly and a small smile catches his eye. Kilgrave watches you as add each ingredient. You’re not weighing anything as you remember your mum saying it all depends on the consistency. A lot of flour and not much milk will make a thicker batter and thicker pancakes, whilst making a runny batter will create thinner crêpe type pancakes. You decide to go with a pancake that’s somewhere in the middle of being a crêpe and a thick American style pancake, because that’s how the batter turned out. You set the batter aside on the small counter by the oven as you’ve come up with an idea. You turn to Kilgrave who’s barely moved from your side.

“Kilgrave where did you put my phone? I have the perfect song we could listen to whilst we make these!” You have a huge smile on your face as you wait for him to reply.

“It’s on the bedside table,” He laughs. You run off to get it and bring up a youtube video of the scene from Matilda of her making pancakes to the song “Send Me On My Way” by Rusted Root. Kilgrave is spooning the batter as he waits for you to come back. He looks up to see you dancing into the kitchen. You close your eyes as you bob your shoulders separately up and down to the music. He watches you and can’t help but smile.

“What is that?” Kilgrave laughs awkwardly.

“It’s the scene from Matilda when she makes pancakes, I love this song!” You’re still dancing.

“I’ve never seen it.”

“Really? It should appeal to you; it’s about this girl with powers who has shitty parents. We should watch it sometime.” You begin to cook the pancakes.

“Will it be on the hotel’s Netflix d’you think?” Kilgrave’s interest is peaked as he makes his way to the living room. He thumbs the TV remote as he searches Netflix for the film and finds it. “Here it is.”

“Don’t start it, we’ll watch it while we eat.” Kilgrave pauses the movie and sits down at the breakfast bar to watch you cook the pancakes, one after another until all the batter is gone. You pile the pancakes on the plates and finish with adding a tiny baby pancake you managed to make with the small amount of batter that was left. You slid it onto Kilgrave’s pile. The both of you add your favourite toppings to your pancakes and make yourselves comfortable on the couch. It isn’t long into the film until the two of you decide to finish what you could of the mountain of pancakes. Kilgrave puts his arm around you and stretches his long legs out to rest on the coffee table. You lift your legs onto the couch and squish up into Kilgrave’s body; he begins running his fingers through your hair. The two of you make eye contact every so often and smile at each other without saying a word, just appreciating the other was there in this perfect moment.


	10. Ulterior Motive

You live with Kilgrave in his Penthouse for a couple of weeks. Life is good. When you’re not spending time together, he goes out in the day to do errands every once in a while, and you go for walks to explore the city. Kilgrave makes an effort to take you out at night, sometimes it’s a fancy restaurant, other times it a night on the town or a trip to the theatre. You also often spend whole days in the Penthouse just watching movies on the hotel’s Netflix. It’s a tradition you both enjoy.

On a lazy Sunday, things heat up as you’re both cuddling on the couch. Kilgrave asks you to tell him every detail of the first vision you have of him; the one where you felt him inside you and his hands all over your skin. You’re shy and hesitant at first then he promises he won’t laugh so you give in. Kilgrave leans back with one arm over the back of the couch as you cross your legs and sit up from cuddling him. He listens intently as you blush every so often when you explain specific situations and can’t look him in the eye.

“Did it turn you on even more when I was being cheeky and continued to fuck you when you were trying to speak to Jessica through the door?” Kilgrave asked with a devilish look. You still can’t get over that accent of his.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged unconvincingly whilst also annoyed that it did turn you on a bit.

“Kinky. You enjoy an audience then?”

“No! It was just in that moment.”

“Whatever you say _____.” Kilgrave shrugs and brushed off your reasoning making your blood boil.

“It didn’t even happen! It was a vision, something my stupid brain just spat out.”

“You’re not denying it.” Kilgrave added.

“Shut up.” You try your hardest not to smirk and turn away from him so your back is facing him.

“Make me.” Kilgrave purrs in your ear making your body shudder. You looked over your shoulder at him. His eyes were wide, as he leaned back into the couch waiting for your next move. You turned around kneeled on the couch so were looking down at Kilgrave’s face. You leaned your body onto him, making him fall backwards. Kilgrave lifts his long legs up so his whole body is lying on the couch with you falling on top of him. You secure Kilgrave in-between your thighs and rip off his top. He cups the back of your head to pull your face down to kiss you hard.  
Kilgrave’s large hands found their way to your bottom before moving up under your shirt that hung loosely on your body. Your skin was warming up as he placed his warm hands on your hips, then to the curves of your waist. You and Kilgrave try to catch your breath in the middle of kissing and dry humping.  
You then felt Kilgrave’s fingertips trail over your ribcage then around to your back to unfasten your bra. It impresses you that he has no problem with undoing the clasps. You sit up and Kilgrave watches you slide off your straps and toss the bra onto the living room floor. You reunite with his lips and Kilgrave’s hands massage your breasts before moving up to your neck and resting them on your face. You were in the mood to play rough so you pull away from him slowly and stare down into his big brown eyes. You place your hands gently over Kilgrave’s on your face and smile lovingly down at him. He smiles back, the both of you breathless.

You then ripped his hands from your face and pushed your palms down on his with force. Kilgrave’s bare arms smack against the arm of the sofa either side of his head. He glances at his hands and then back up at you, it wasn’t for long as you came down and sunk your teeth into his neck. You sucked, bit and kissed at Kilgrave’s skin making him grunt sharply then groan with pleasure. You felt him bulging through the thin material of his pyjama bottoms as you left countless purple marks with your mouth. Kilgrave’s head rolled backwards with a moan so his Adam’s apple was poking out. You moved your hands to secure his head in your grasp and ran your tongue up his neck to his chin then into his mouth. Your tongue was in control of Kilgrave’s this time.  
You sat up and pulled on a sleeve so your shirt came up over your head. Kilgrave sat up too and wrapped his strong arms around your naked upper body before leaving kisses along your collar bone. You felt his heartbeat as his skin touches yours, and his breath as he ran his long tongue down your chest to suck and bite your nipples.

“You’re beautiful.” Kilgrave mumbled into your chest. You pulled at his hair on his head moaning his name as you grind your hips on the hard area between his legs. He’s panting hard and pushes you down onto the other side of the sofa. You stare into his eyes as he makes one long streak with his tongue down to your pyjama bottoms. He doesn’t break eye contact as he slowly slides them down with your underwear. Your heart rate quickens as you’re laying there completely naked. Kilgrave peels apart your legs and kisses from your knee up to your inner thigh. A piece of his hair falls down as you feel his pearly whites gnaw at your flesh. Kilgrave leaves a purple mark on your inner thigh. You take deeper breaths as he inches closer and closer to your area. You can feel yourself throbbing down there.  
You then feel Kilgrave’s warmth from his mouth between your legs licking you up and down. He sucks at your clit and makes circles with his tongue; gently at first then it’s more forceful. You exhale and inhale quickly mixed with groans whilst you grab hard at the sofa. You feel Kilgrave’s long middle finger slip into you then he adds another finger. His mouth is still on your clit as he pushes into you. He wastes no time and starts fingering you vigorously. It surprises you and makes your back arch as you let out a moan. He’s pleased that he’s making your hips jerk with his movements down there. Your eyes roll back into your head and you can’t catch your breath. You can feel you’re almost at your climax. Kilgrave knows how to make you scream.

“Don’t stop Kilgrave!” You breathe grabbing at his head between your legs. You felt his thick glossy brown hair between your fingers. You hold your breath then stutter an orgasm as you release with his fingers still inside you. He’s panting with a smirk and sat up to watch you orgasm. Kilgrave runs his free hand through his thick chocolate locks. Your cheeks are burning. Kilgrave slides his fingers out from inside you and licks them. You watch him above you sucking his fingers and tasting you, whilst gently massaging your clit with his other hand. You kiss his mouth and give him one last moan. You feel him smile as you pull away and get off the couch to stand.  
Kilgrave sits there sprawled out on the couch with his pyjama bottoms straining at the crotch. You look down at it then back up to his eyes. You see his tongue circling the inside of his mouth, poking at the inside of cheeks and behind his teeth. He stares at your figure as you stand tall. “PANTS OFF.” You demand, Kilgrave arches a brow and stands.

“As you wish.” He drops his bottoms and his penis springs up rock hard. You look down and wrap your hand around it; you can feel it’s hot and pulsating. You look up at his face which is inches above yours. You stare at him as your hand runs up and down around his shaft. You feel his breath on your face as he breathes harder when you pump your hand quicker. Kilgrave groans deeply as you continue.

“Sir? Mr Kilgrave. Sir?” The two of you hear Hank entering the Penthouse. You stop pleasuring Kilgrave as he turns to shout an order at Hank. You freeze and watch Kilgrave’s frown as he raises his voice to command Hank. That shouldn’t turn you on but it does.

“Don’t come into this room Hank.” Kilgrave orders whilst you scramble on the floor for your clothes. You can’t hear Hank’s heavy footsteps anymore as he comes to a halt in the hallway.

“Sir?”

“Stop where you are. What do you want?” Kilgrave says sternly, he pulls his pyjama bottoms back on and walks into the hall to speak to Hank. You redress yourself and try to listen from the living room the conversation they’re having in the hall. Hank quietly explains the situation when Kilgrave orders him to not be so loud.

“She’s here. Sir.”

“Who is? Jones?” Hank nods. “What in God’s name is she doing here? What do I pay you for?!” Kilgrave unintentionally raises his voice.

“Everything ok?” You shout.

“Are you listening to us?” Kilgrave shouts back to you.

“No.” You reply sheepishly.

“You,” Kilgrave pokes Hank “fire those muppets that are slacking and go out and find better ones.” Hank nods and is about to leave before hearing a scuffle in the hallway outside the Penthouse. Hank brings his pistol out and presses a finger to his earpiece trying to contact any of Kilgrave’s other body guards for backup. There’s no response. The door to the Penthouse flies off and Jessica stomps in. Kilgrave hides behind Hank.

“There you are asshole.” Jessica approaches Hank and Kilgrave with her clenched fists.

“Shoot her!” Kilgrave commands, Hank shoots but Jessica bats the gun away so the bullet fires up into the ceiling. The gunshot makes you jump. You’re scared and take cover behind the far end of the couch in the living room.

“Kilgrave?” You whimper.

Jessica pulls Hank onto the floor with a thump and he aims to shoot her again. She kicks the gun from his hand and punches him in the face so hard that he’s out cold. She turns to face Kilgrave who’s ran into the living room. You see a woman soon catches up with Kilgrave and punches him in the nose. Kilgrave cries out in pain as he grabs his bloody nose. “Argh! Christ!”

“Stop! What are you doing?” You stumble over to Kilgrave’s side. Jessica calms down a bit as she recognises you.

“_____? What are you doing here?” Jessica sighs with frustration as you clearly ignored her warnings.

“Jessica?” You ask confused as to why she’s shown up.

“Do you still live in my building? I haven’t seen you for a while. Remember you helped me carry Malcolm back to his apartment that time when he was doped out of his mind, yeah? Well I just found out that’s thanks to this prick.”

“What...? I live with Kilgrave now...” You’re so confused. You look Jessica up and down. She’s still very attractive with her loose curls around her fair face. Jessica turns to Kilgrave.

“Nice. Kidnapping women as well creating drug addicts. Very nice, Kevin.” Jessica spat the name Kevin like it was sour on her tongue. Why does she keep calling him Kevin? It must be his real name. You prefer Kilgrave.

“Don’t be so dramatic Jessica. I haven’t kidnapped anyone, and the junkie, well, I wasn’t the one who stuck the needle in his arm. That was all his doing. I didn't make him do anything he didn't want to do.”

Jessica shakes her head in disbelief. “You fucking bastard.”

“Can someone please explain what the fuck is going on here?” You interrupt the two of them.

“I didn’t think you’d be that stupid to stay with him at your own free will _____. I warned you not once but twice. You’d think that when I threw him through my door would’ve been enough of a warning.” You’re slightly offended.

“That wasn’t the wisest of decisions now was it Jessica, did you manage to repair your door?” Kilgrave adds with a snigger. Jessica gives him a deathly stare.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat asshole. There’s a door made entirely of glass behind you.” Jessica inches forward.

“No! Please, don’t.” You plead standing in front of Kilgrave. Jessica looks at you with disappointment then pushes you out the way. She uses just enough force to make you lose your balance and stumble backward. You regain your balance and see Jessica pick up Kilgrave and with her super strength catapults his body toward the glass door cracking the glass. He falls to the floor winded and injured. You rush over to him and Jessica approaches the two of you.

“He made Malcolm a drug addict. Tell her Kevin.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say Jessica, please.” Kilgrave whimpers from any slight movement. You hold his face as he’s gasping trying to fill his lungs back up with air.

Jessica spoke through her teeth trying not to explode. “Tell her how you supplied Malcolm with the drugs you hooked him on just so he stalk me and give you the creepy pictures.” Kilgrave looked into your eyes. Jessica hoped he’d actually tell you the truth.

“I told you _____. Compulsive liar.” Kilgrave watched you look back to Jessica. You don’t trust her as much as Kilgrave, but she was making sense. That must’ve been what the packages were all about at the cab that day before you went dress shopping, and what you saw in your vision. Jessica glances at Kilgrave who flashes an evil grin at her. You don’t notice Kilgrave’s smirk as you’re attention is now on Jessica who’s darting forward. She lifts Kilgrave up by his neck and pins him against the glass. He groans from the pain.

“Stop please! You’re hurting him!” You try to pull on her arm but it’s solid and doesn’t budge. Jessica shrugs you off.

“Tell her about all the people you’ve hurt! All the lives you’ve poisoned. ADMIT IT!” You saw Jessica’s eyes tear up in anger. You hate seeing anyone cry. You felt a need to comfort Jessica and make her feel better. She was so broken. Kilgrave made a short and faint yelp noise as Jessica strengthened her grasp. It made you look back and expect a response from him. Instead you watched his beautiful brown eyes roll back into his head; he was beginning to pass out. Your eyes widened in horror as Jessica was squashing his wind pipe in her fury.

“YOU’RE GOING TO KILL HIM!” You screamed at Jessica. Your feelings built up inside you, all you could think of was you wanted her to stop and be away from Kilgrave. You had a strong urge to protect him from her in this moment. Your ears filled with a strange pulsing noise, similar to the noise a glass of water makes when you rotate your wet finger on the rim, or the sound of a vibrating tuning fork. Jessica stumbled backward and let go of Kilgrave. She held her hand up. She was just as confused as you were. Kilgrave stumbled forward gulping in air while you supported him best you could. He rubbed at his neck while the colour came back to his face.

“What is wrong with you _____? He’s killed more people as an afterthought.”

“I've never killed anyone." Kilgrave snaps breathless.

“I could do the whole world a favour.” She mumbles examining her hand.

“You sound like the murderer.” You pipe up, surprising Kilgrave and Jessica. “Killers decide who lives and who dies, that’s what makes them killers. The only small exception is if you have to kill someone to save yourself or someone you love, then it’s still not right but...”

"He’s decided plenty of times who lives and who dies, and it’s not usually because of anything noble or heroic. It’s whether someone’s brought him the wrong coffee or something.” Jessica looks back to Kilgrave “Are you at that stage in the relationship yet? When you admit to her you use your powers to compel murder?” she asked with a sarcastic tone. Kilgrave clenches his jaw. You look over to Kilgrave for an explanation. When his gaze is on you his hateful expression fades to a softer more loving one.

“I’m working on it.” Kilgrave looks you in the eye. “You know I have a short temper and I say things I don’t necessarily mean.”

Jessica responds quickly to snap you out of Kilgrave’s allure. “It just so happens that the things he doesn’t necessarily mean have such a huge impact.” Jessica locks her hazel eyes with yours. “Keep that in mind.”

“Don’t you have someone else to bludgeon?” Kilgrave says defeated. Jessica gives him a cold stare then her mouth briefly forms a small and polite grin toward you. She turns and walks away; casually stepping over the unconscious bodies of Kilgrave’s body guards to get to the elevator at the far end of the hall outside the Penthouse.

Kilgrave walks over to the large mirror in the hallway and examines the damage done to his nose. You appear behind him trying your best to stay calm.

“Do you think I’ll need stitches?” He asks.

“You had that junkie Malcolm stalk Jessica to bring you photos of her? AND YOU PAID HIM WITH DRUGS?!” You push him so he nearly smacks his face into the mirror and stomp into the living room. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“_____ I haven’t done that sort of thing for a while now!”

“BUT YOU DID IT? That’s so unbelievably fucked up Kilgrave!”

“I KNOW IT WAS OK! I know.” Kilgrave rakes his hair with his fingers. “I wasn’t in a good place; I used Malcolm and was obsessed with Jessica. I learned she was able to ignore my commands so I had to find her, but then I met you. You can also be immune to my commands but unlike Jessica, you want to be with me” Kilgrave gives you a warm smile, but then it soon fades when you don’t reciprocate.

“I didn’t exactly have a choice if I went with you that day. You commanded me to.” You cross your arms.

“But you said at dinner that night that you were sort of glad I did, otherwise you wouldn’t have met anyone else who’s gifted.”

“We had a bunch of wine that night so god knows what I said. Besides, Jessica told me a while back, there are 99 people who are gifted in just the Hell’s Kitchen borough.” Kilgrave gave you a look of confusion. He didn’t see your point. “In other words you probably knew we aren’t the only two people with abilities Kilgrave, even though you made me think we were. Was that part of your plan? Make me think we were special, that it was fate or some bullshit?”

“You want the truth? Fine!” Kilgrave threw his hands up. “The main reason, the only reason, I was interested in getting to get to know better was because of selfish reasons. I’ll admit that. I wanted to use your powers to benefit myself, alright?” You were crushed. You felt the back of your throat dry up and your eyes begin to sting. Kilgrave approaches you. You bite your lip trying to hold back your tears. He reaches up to touch your face but you smack his hands away. Kilgrave sighs but doesn’t argue. He speaks softly to you. “That was my motive in the beginning. Then, I saw how you were at dinner. The warmth you were willing to spread, to me of all people; the strange man who forced you to come to dinner. You were, are good, down to your core. I decided then and there, I had to learn from you: how to be good. And now I’ve gotten to know your quirks and you as a wonderfully strange human being. I love your bluntness, you’re not afraid to speak your mind or follow your gut. You aren’t just a thing, excuse me, person I can manipulate and control for my own benefit, you’re special, to me and to this world and I cannot spoil that. I’m willing to do anything for you, unconditionally.” You look up at Kilgrave. It’s easy to get lost in his big brown eyes and his lovely English accent. “I’m in love with you _____.” You laugh awkwardly and wipe your wet cheek. You smile up at Kilgrave. He smiles back. The two of you stare at each other for a short while. Then you lean in closer to examine his busted up nose.

You sigh as he jerks his head away whenever you try to touch his injury. “You won’t need stitches I don’t think. But, just to be safe, get changed.” After changing into socially acceptable clothing to wear in public (not pyjamas), you drag him by the hand and walk him to the elevator on the same floor. You then hail a cab to take you to the emergency room. You hold his hand through the ordeal as he’s never been a fan of hospitals, ever since he was used and experimented on as a child. Kilgrave leaves the hospital with some bruising under a band aid after the doctor cracked his nose back into place. It satisfied you to see him in some pain. It makes up for what he did to Malcolm and Jessica. You take him to a café and pay for his full English breakfast and coffee as a late lunch and order one of your favourite sandwiches and a hot chocolate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Notes from the author~  
> haHA I started writing this at 10pm ish and I'm posting it at 8am the next morning. I hAven't slePt yeT LOl
> 
> Areas to mention: A reader of mine mentioned that Kilgrave cannot erase memories. I'm stupid and for some reason I thought he could.  
> Some time has passed since Kilgrave told the reader to forget about Jessica Jones (by accident), so the command wore off and they remember Jessica again.  
> Also, I questioned whether Jessica would have the guts to confront Kilgrave like in this chapter, cos whenever she saw him in the show she freaks and has to calm herself down with the street names. Let's pretend Jessica figured out earlier that Kilgrave can't control her any more and that she's free. Cool beans? Cool beans.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. Waves of Doubt

You’ve never really been one to follow the crowd. It’s boring being a sheep. Instead, you started making your own decisions from a young age. These weren’t drastic life decisions you were making at 7 years old, because you listened to your parents (for the most part). They raised you to respect and love them and they knew what was best for you. Good people who did right by you even if they didn’t fully understand. _You_ made your mind up whether a person was worth trusting and who you would listen to, you were never a person who could easily be swayed. 

You made an effort to stand up to something you believe was right, often clashing with others. Some referred to your quality as stubborn, rebellious and unmanageable, whilst others admired your uniqueness and would describe you as headstrong, determined and hard-headed. It all means pretty much the same thing but the nicer words came from a more positive and accepting place. That’s what was most important to you. Anyone else, you couldn’t give two shits about, you didn’t care and let them think what they wanted. Lyrics from a song of your favourite band helped when you were feeling insecure and abnormal: _I don't care what you think as long as it's about me._ It gave you some confidence to shrug off the mean and hurtful comments. You would learn as long as you didn’t feed the bullies with a reaction they’d soon became bored of you.   
Throughout your life you only remember trying to repress the strange things that would happen to you. No one ever told you to embrace it, until Kilgrave came along. People without gifts are often scared of the unknown because they can’t and will never understand. They’ve never experienced it. Your parents worried about how much pain your visions caused and couldn’t understand why it kept happening so they took you to a number of doctors who ran tests and scanned your brain but failed to find any abnormalities. They hated seeing you in pain but also hated dragging you in and out of hospital from such a young age. After countless trips to the hospital and after meeting so many specialists; no one could diagnose you. You started to feel like a burden. The term epilepsy was tossed around and it gave you some optimism that you finally have an answer after all these years, but after some tests the results were negative. You felt hopeless and eventually learned to just exist with pain medication.   
You didn’t have many friends, most kids thought you were weird and weren’t afraid to tell you. You spent a lot of time by yourself. Throughout your teens you spoke to a therapist who suggested maybe if you’d keep yourself occupied and not dwell on certain things too much, the pain might subside. There was always that lingering feeling when you opened up to anyone about what happens to you .They’d nod along and listen, but they never really believed what you told them you saw. Everyone just thought you had a lot of headaches and collapsed more than the average healthy person. You tried to convince yourself multiple times that this was the case too. She suggested maybe developing an interest in the genre of fiction. Books, movies and TV shows were all keen interests of hers and helped her escape. The genre of fiction helped somewhat by lowering the risk of bringing on a vision. Since the characters and stories you became invested in weren’t actually real, you’d never see yourself in a future situation with them.   
At the start of your twenties, you relied heavily on your favourite music and dabbled with meditation. It helped clear your mind. Playing video games didn’t hurt either helping you escape. Things started looking up for you. You hadn’t had one of your episodes in over a year. Doctors gave you their approval as you really wanted to see the rest of the world. Nothing was going to hold you back. You saved up money from your job and decide on the more famous locations and begin with New York City. On your first official night in the place you were going to stay whilst in NYC, you didn’t expect to meet him, Kilgrave. Now, you can’t see yourself without him. He liberated you, set you free from the denial of your power. For the first time in your short life a person didn’t shun you for your abilities. Kilgrave could relate I suppose. He didn’t try to make you someone you weren’t, he just accepted you the way you were made. Kilgrave made you feel powerful, when he wasn’t making you weak at the knees that is.

Your stubbornness or hard-headedness, however you chose to look at it, helped you in the regard of ignoring Kilgrave’s commands. When the two of you came to the conclusion, you couldn’t believe how simple it was. If Kilgrave commanded you to do something, you’d disagree and try your best to ignore it. It wasn’t as easy as it seemed at first glance though. You had to push yourself harder and harder to fight his compulsion, to eventually become immune in the near future. Your determined personality played a part. It was like some force you emitted, it must be related to your psychic abilities somehow. There’s no way of actually knowing for sure so you had to theorise. He tried his best to hardly ever use his power on you, but Kilgrave had to keep testing you to keep you on your toes.

“_____? Kiss me.” Kilgrave is seated on one of the two striped beach chairs. He digs his beer bottle into the white sand that lies beneath his long arm. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows and his fingers intertwine as he rests them upon his stomach. Kilgrave stretches out his crossed legs that wore burgundy chinos. His large bare feet poked out the end of his turned up pant legs and he wiggled his toes in the hot sand. You watch the sea air flow through his hair. The warm, gentle wind snakes through his thin white button up shirt. Only a few of the buttons are done up so the breeze exposes Kilgrave’s skin underneath every so often. You try to pin your hair behind your ears and the material of your cornflower blue sundress flutters.

“C’mon, really?” You’re looking in the ice box for another beer. You find one and pop the cap. You can hear the liquid inside fizz then stroll back over to Kilgrave. He remains seated as you bend down to give him a long kiss. His hand raked through the pieces of your hair that kept coming back down into your face and he tenderly cups your cheek. You pull away and lick your lips before sitting down in the other chair. “Try commanding me to do something I really don’t want to do.” You take a sip of your beer as you watch the glistening aquamarine sea calmly roll in and out. You bury your toes in the sand as Kilgrave closes his eyes and leans his head back to soak up the heat. Kilgrave managed to _persuade_ the owner of the luxurious beach house to let the two of you take care of it for a couple of weeks. Free of charge of course. He must’ve charmed her with his English accent, it definitely worked for you. You’ve only spent a few nights in Spain so far together. It was stunning _._

“Go rub some sand in your eyes.” He mumbles. You frown and continue to drink your beer. Kilgrave brings his head back down and squints from the bright sunshine. He hesitates as he watches to see if you’ll do it. You don’t of course, because you don’t want to and shrug at him. “Good girl.” And he goes back to basking in the sun.

“Now something else!” You suggest wriggling in the seat. You’re very happy that you blocked his command out.

Kilgrave gives you an irritated groan. “We’re on holiday. Enjoy it.”

“Please? Think of a couple more. Good ones. I don’t want to end up losing this.” You give Kilgrave’s dangling hand a squeeze. He looks over to you and lifts his other hand to shield his eyes from the sun.

“Alright.” Kilgrave sits up and scans the area. “Smash that bottle and jam it into your throat”

“Nope.” You shake your head.

“Walk back to Hell’s Kitchen. Go now.”

You dismiss his order “I’m not Jesus. I can’t walk on water Kilgrave.” Kilgrave scoffs and runs his fingers through his hair before suggesting something else. He spots a couple in the distance walking their dog. He motions a nod toward them so you look.

“Go and drown their dog in the sea.” Kilgrave stares at you.

“What the fuck? No!” You got distressed at the image. Dog’s are a gift to this world and Kilgrave knows how much you love dogs.

“Steal it from them then.”

“I’m not doing that either.” You say sternly, still annoyed at the previous suggestion.

“Do want to continue?” Kilgrave asks with a swig of beer.

“No, we’re good for now.” You snap. Kilgrave senses you’re upset.

“I only said that because I know how much you love dogs. It was something I knew you really wouldn’t want to do. Are you alright?” Kilgrave reaches down to rub his thumb in circles on the back your hand, he’s not letting go of your hand. The gesture makes you look into Kilgrave’s deep brown eyes and nod. He pulls your arm and you fall toward him crashing your lips onto his. You’re sitting on his lap as you reach your hands up onto his jaw still kissing him. Kilgrave’s hands both slink around your waist then one of them creeps up your back whilst the other begins to slide up your thigh under your dress. You breathe into his mouth and you feel a grin spread across his mouth. He stands up making you slide off him. He grabs your hand and leads you toward the beach house. You laugh to yourself. _Again already? We haven’t been here for a week yet and we’ve spent most days in bed together._ You don’t protest as you still can’t get enough of him.

Your stomach is in knots as Kilgrave opens the glass door. You wanted him, just as much as he wanted you. You’re already so wet between your legs.  He closes the door after you enter and he gives you a look like he’s ready to pounce. His lips are on yours again as he pins you up against the wall. He lifts you arms up and keeps them above you on the wall with one hand. Kilgrave’s other large hand has now slid into your panties. His talented fingers touch you just right so you exhale and moan his name over and over. The two of you grunt and groan then you rip apart his thin shirt from the low neckline and some buttons ping off in the process. Kilgrave growls then forces you onto the arm of the couch. You catch yourself without falling too hard onto your front. You dress is quite short so when you’re bent over like this, your bottom peaks out exposing your black thong with purple lace detailing. You hear Kilgrave undo his belt and zip. He’s about to fuck you from behind. He lifts your dress and slides your knickers away. He’s pulled himself out of his underwear and is now teasing your opening with his tip, only briefly before thrusting into you. You scream, enjoying every second of his assertive mood. He grunts and pushes into you and pulls out making your body jerk back and forth on the couch. You moan for him to go faster, he complies and you massage your clit. The sea view is in front of you just out the window. The sun’s rays twinkle on the surface of the green-blue water.

After a hot sweaty and rather loud couple of minutes, Kilgrave slides himself out from inside you and sits on the couch panting. He wipes his forehead and motions with his hand for you to climb onto him. You do so and sit on his lengthy rock hard cock and exhale as it disappears up inside you. Kilgrave buries his face into your breasts and squeezes them. You feel his fingers circle the material on your nipples as you’re still in your dress. Kilgrave’s shirt is completely open exposing his upper body. He pulls you down to suck and gnaw at your collar bone; peppering your skin with red and purple marks. He leaves his signature on your body. You grind your hips and grab hard at his thick brown locks of hair on his head. Kilgrave releases a deep growly moan as he rubs your clit. After tonguing his mouth you swing your head back continuing the movements your bottom half is making, you can’t control yourself as you orgasm again and again. Your knees weaken either side of Kilgrave on the couch as your leg muscles have jellified. Kilgrave’s hands reach up under your dress to grasp your bottom then they leave scratch marks on your upper back. You feel multiple rushes of pleasure wash over you like warm waves from the sea. Kilgrave stutters an orgasm as he releases deep inside you not long after. You’re not worried as you’ve taken your contraceptive pill today. You always worry too much and brush of the doubt in the back of your mind. Kilgrave tongues your mouth as the two of you catch your breath.


	12. Panic! At the Spanish Beach house

"_____?" Kilgrave's noticed the look of pure horror on your face. You push yourself up so he slips out of you; he winces from your speedy movement. You stand. It's sticky and still warm in between your legs. You try to swallow a lump in your throat. Kilgrave can't work out why you haven't said anything and you keep staring at the floor. You quickly walk off to the bedroom and hunt for your pills. Kilgrave's calling after you but you manage to block him out. In your mind you curse yourself for switching to a birth control pill instead of staying with condoms. It was your stupid decision, you trusted Kilgrave enough because you'd now been together for a year and a half, mostly just travelling and seeing the world. You're flinging the contents of your bag over your shoulder as you dig deeper. _Where are the pills?! I put them in here, I know I did._ Kilgrave's standing in the doorway of the bedroom, doing up his belt and re-buttoning his shirt. "Darling, what are you doing?" You don't hear his sexy English accent and don't find the pills in your bag either. You try the on-suite. You slam open the bathroom cabinet door and start scrambling behind bottles, toothpaste, emergency towels amongst other things. You notice a packet of condoms; you bat them out of the way for mocking you whilst Kilgrave sits on the end of the double bed opposite the bathroom door. He watches as you reach up, exposing your slightly red, plump cheeks (most likely from him slapping there earlier) and you accidently knock over a small box. Q-tips scatter the bathroom floor. You're almost in tears.

"WHERE ARE THEY?" Your voice cracks as you feel yourself panicking. Your face is still in the cabinet.

"Where are what love?"

"MY PILLS KILGRAVE! I CAN'T FIND THEM I NEED TO FIND THEM." You slide the whole shelf of contents onto the floor. Kilgrave becomes concerned and approaches you.

"_____ why are you getting yourself so worked up?" He attempts to tuck some hair behind your ear, but you turn around too quickly.

"BECAUSE I NEED TO FIND THEM!" Up close, Kilgrave notices the seriousness spread over your face, and also how the sun has brought out more of your freckles. He sees you trying to blink back tears and cups your cheek with one of his soft large hands. His touch soothes you for a moment.

"Alright take a breath, where do you remember putting them?" Looking up at Kilgrave's perfect face melts some of your worry away. You point to an empty saggy bag on the bedroom floor.

"In my bag but they're not there."

"What do they look like?" Kilgrave begins to rummage through the mess that exploded out of your bag.

"It's a silver packet with small circular yellow pills-"

"Are these the pills you're looking for?" You appreciated his version of an Obi-Wan Kenobi impression as he held your packet of birth control pills. _How?_ You must've thrown them out of your bag with something.

"YES!" You breathe a sigh of relief as he hands them to you. You kiss Kilgrave but then your attention is straight back onto the pills. You're reading the shorthand days of the week on the foil part of the packet. He takes a seat on the bed.

"What day is it today?" You ask Kilgrave, your eyes still glued on the packet. He looks away, inhales through his teeth and tries to remember.

"Saturday." He replies looking back at you. There's one un-popped hole left on the packet. _That's not good._ It reads: "Sat". _That's definitely not good._ Your heartbeat quickens.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or will I have to try and make you?" Kilgrave is leaning back on his hands on the bed. You finally tear your gaze away from the packet of pills and he raises his eyebrows waiting for your response. Surely he's worked it out by now.

"There's still a pill in this packet," You wait for the penny to drop but it doesn't.

"Right, I can see that." Kilgrave is getting increasingly confused. You want to tell him but you're fearful of how he might react.

"It's my pill I was supposed to take this morning but I... forgot." You couldn't look him in the eye. You felt so stupid. Kilgrave stood and you braced yourself.

"You forgot!?" Kilgrave threw his arms up dramatically. He's worked it out but can't bring himself to say the words, instead he begins to pace around the room.

"I DON'T USUALLY! You were the one who was being cute and spontaneous by wanting to swim in the sea this morning. It must've slipped my mind to take it," You bite your lip and Kilgrave rakes his hair. There's a pause as the both of you try to figure out what to do. Kilgrave sits back down on the end of the bed.

"Why can't you just take it now?"

"I'm going to, but I doubt it'll make a difference since I'm supposed to take it at the same time every day. Taking it now would mean I'm taking it outside my time-window so it would be less effective."

Kilgrave took a deep breath unsure by your explanation. "Did you bring any more to take while we'll be staying here?"

"No, since we were going back to Hell's Kitchen in a week I thought I'd just stock up when we got back. I planned on using my menstrual cup for the rest of the trip and condoms." You fumble the packet in your hands tearing little pieces of foil off. _How could I have been so careless?_

"What are we going to do?" Kilgrave groans, lies back onto the bed and covers his face with his hands. You place the packet of pills on the bedside table and take a seat on the end of the bed next to him.

"I could take a pregnancy test in a few days; we won't know anything for sure until then. I might not even be pregnant."

"But what if it turns out you are?"

"Then we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it I suppose." You rub Kilgrave's knee.

"This is all my fault," Kilgrave mumbles through his hands.

"Don't say that." You lie down with Kilgrave and rest your hands on your stomach. "It was an accident, plus it was mostly my fault. I should've thought before we-"

"Before _I_ dragged you up here. I haven't given you a break since we got here." He scrunched his thick brown hair and tongued the inside of his lips.

"Hey! Stop blaming yourself. It's not like you forced me Kilgrave." You pulled his face toward yours so you look him in his deep coffee coloured eyes. "I would've refused if I didn't want you too." Kilgrave pulls you in to begin to kiss you lovingly. Your hand is in his hair and his strokes at your body. You're enjoying it before he pulls away suddenly. You watch him roll off the bed quickly and stand.

"This is how we got into this mess." He laughs.

"So what, are you never going to touch me again?" You're sat up on the bed.

"No, it's just; I won't feel at ease until I know." Kilgrave runs his hand along the stubble on his chin.

"It's not exactly a picnic for me either Kilgrave. I don't want a kid. I also don't really want to go through having to get rid of one."

"You don't want children?" Kilgrave rubs the back of his neck.

"No."

"Not ever?"

"I don't know. It scares me." You crawl to the back of the bed to lean against the headrest. Kilgrave sits next to you.

"It scares you having a child with me?" He looks crushed. You hate yourself for making him think of something so upsetting.

You grab Kilgrave's hand with both of yours. "No! It's the responsibility. It's nothing to do with whether it's with you. **I'm** not ready. I can hardly look after myself let alone a helpless little thing that would have to rely on me; poor thing wouldn't have a hope in hell!" You wave your hands erratically matching your frantic words "and how do I make sure it turns out ok? What if I do something wrong?"

"Why would all the responsibility fall to you? _____I'm not going anywhere. Besides, I don't think anyone is ever fully ready to have a child." Kilgrave's reassurance falls on deaf ears. You stare at him for a short amount of time.

"Kilgrave... Do you want this baby?" You can feel your heart in your throat as he takes too long to answer. You're not ready.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure. I didn't have the best examples when it comes to parenting. _Good_ parenting that is, so God knows what I'll be like" He laughs, you're not seeing the funny side.

"Why do you keep talking like we've already made a decision?!" You shout in Kilgrave's face then wobble your way to the living room.

"I'm not!" Kilgrave didn't expect that reaction. He's followed you.

"Yes you are!" You slam the front door behind you and walk down to the sea. You need to be alone to think; Kilgrave stayed behind and decided you need some time. The thought of being pregnant, the responsibility of a child, providing for a child of your own; gives you a large amount of anxiety. Your legs give way and you fall down onto the sand. You take deep breaths next to the sound of the sloshing water of the ocean. You close your eyes and try to calm down. The warm breeze combs your hair and you appreciate the time to unwind; thinking about nothing for a while, just listening.

-

Some time has passed whilst you sat alone on the beach. You watch the sun about to set across the sparkling sea. _Me? A parent, a... a mum?_ It's never really something you saw, figuratively or literally _._ You never thought about it long enough without it scaring the shit out of you. Maybe you've unconsciously blocked it out of your mind and repressed it. _That's probably not good..._

"Quite the vision don't you think?" Kilgrave was standing with his hands in his pockets beside you watching the sunset too. This man looked amazing in any light. He plonked his bum down on the sand next to you and you leaned into him. He wrapped one of his long arms around you pulling you closer and then rested his chin on your head.

You sigh "What are we going to do if I am?"

Kilgrave combs you hair with his fingers "We'll do what you want to do. If you feel you're not ready, then you're not ready."

You look up at Kilgrave. "Are _you_ ready?"

"To have children? I'll give it a shot I suppose; I have my doubts and bothers just like anyone else."

You sit up annoyed. "How can you be so calm about this?"

"I'm trying to stay calm for you _____. I don't want you worrying about me worrying! Like you said, we won't know anything yet. Don't work yourself up over something that might turn out to be nothing." Kilgrave rubs your arm and gives you a warm smile. You cuddle him until the sun sets then head inside.

-

You hardly get any sleep for the next couple of nights. You were restless, tossing and turning trying to get comfortable mostly. You weren't looking forward to that day and sleeping would only bring it around sooner. The day the two of you arranged to travel to town, Kilgrave made your favourite breakfast and ate with you on the deck outside the house. Mornings were always beautiful here especially with him. After getting dressed the two of you travelled by boat then by cab to the nearest town. The place you were staying was pretty remote so the nearest town ended up being 2 hours away, so it took at least 4 hours there and back. Not to mention getting lost and neither of you could speak a lick of Spanish. It took a while but you finally found a grocery store that also sold pregnancy tests. Kilgrave bought a few, all ranging from different Spanish brands. He wanted to be sure. The lady who served you two flashed you a big smile assuming you were the lucky woman. You forced a smile in return and itched to get home. The reality was setting in and you started to feel nauseous. Excitement? Fear? Or maybe because of the human growing inside you, does morning sickness affect you that early on? Probably not. Nevertheless you felt ill. On your return the two of you burst through the front door dumped the groceries on the kitchen counter and darted to the bathroom. You tied your hair up before dropping your pants and taking your seat on the toilet. Kilgrave took a seat on the side of the bath.

"Would it be so bad if you **were** pregnant?" Hearing the words you and pregnant in the same sentence suddenly made this whole thing feel very real. You tore open the packet with your teeth, removed the cap and positioned the stick underneath and urinated. You hadn't said a word since you came through the door. After finishing you handed it to Kilgrave and he held the piece of plastic out at arm's length with a slightly disgusted expression. You rolled your eyes and wiped then zipped up your pants to wash your hands. Kilgrave handed you the stick and you pressed the cap back on while he washed his hands. "Do you know how long it will take?" Kilgrave wipes his mouth and pulls on his bottom lip unsure what to do with his hands as he waits.

"In the movies it's usually a couple of minutes." You pick up the box. "This one says it takes 1 minute." You still feel sick. You feel as if everything is happening in slow motion. Your temperature rises as you bring out your phone to set a timer. 1 minute remaining. You take a seat next to Kilgrave on the side of the bath as you wait. You glance at your phone in your hand. 50 seconds remaining. _This is the longest most excruciating minute of my life._ You unbutton your shirt and flap it at the neckline to bring some cool air down your top. You feel Kilgrave's fingers weave between yours as he grasps your free hand. You look up at him, a piece of his hair he's tried to brush back flops down as he smiles at you. You both take another look at your phone. 30 seconds remaining... 20 seconds remaining. You feel your heart crash against your chest as you see the numbers count down from 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1-BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP! You turn the timer off with a shaky press from your finger. You're clutching the pregnancy test, unable to move. The little screen that gives you the result is facing down at the floor. Kilgrave squeezes your hand.

"Ready?" He asks snapping you out of your daze.

"Nope." You reply, making him laugh. Kilgrave gently rotates your hand so you both can see the result.

Negative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #PlotTwistAmirite
> 
> In all seriousness though, thanks for sticking with me for 12 chapters, WHAAT? That's cray.  
> I find this chapter's title hilarious, I hope you do too.


	13. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Author’s Notes~  
> Whoo has it been a hot minute! As Sarah Rae Vargas would say. Seriously though how long ago did I post the chapter before this one? February? I'm so sorry. I haven't been in the mood to write.  
> For being so late, I made this chapter extra long and juicy for all of you, my babies! (3,974 words wat). Thanks for sticking around for this long. I really do love each and every one of you and I hope you enjoy reading it. ✌  
> \------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Negative. Of course, I'm not very likely to get pregnant in these circumstances. It's not like Kilgrave has super sperm or something! What the heck was I so worried about? I got what I wanted... then why do I feel as though someone's punched me right in the gut?_ You stare down at the piece of plastic in your hand. Kilgrave's hand moves from yours that's holding the pregnancy test, to wrap his arms around your body. He gives you a squeeze.

"There! See, nothing to worry about. Negative just like you wanted." Kilgrave says with a smile, you don't respond. He pulls away and looks at you to study the look on your face. "_____?"

"I'm fine! Yeah-dodged a bullet there!" You laugh still not looking anywhere in Kilgrave's direction. He laughs with you but still senses you're not being entirely truthful. He bites his lip and pulls away to run his palms down his thighs to tap his knees.

"Right, I'll start putting the shopping away. What do you feel like tonight? Spaghetti? I fancy spaghetti." Kilgrave leaves the uncomfortable atmosphere and assumes you'll join him in the kitchen shortly. You're still sitting on the side of the bath studying the pregnancy test. _Why do I feel like this? That was the result I wanted._ You throw the pregnancy test in the bin and hear Kilgrave's voice from the kitchen.  
"So you're just going to let me put ALL this shopping away ALL by myself?" His playful tone makes you smile. You enter the kitchen and watch him struggle with groceries in his arms. You start reaching for items from the bags on the counter. When your back is turned to Kilgrave, he slips his empty hands around your waist. His touch makes you take in a sharp breath. You smile as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

"You alright?" You could hear his beautiful accent very close to your ear.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just a bit shaken up with the whole pregnancy thing y'know" You rub Kilgrave's hands that are resting on your stomach.

"I understand... but, I can't help but feel slightly insulted."

You laugh and turn to face him. "Why?"

"I don't know. It's as though you couldn't stand the notion of being pregnant with my child. I had this feeling that you felt repulsed-" Kilgrave shrugged and ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. He always did that when he felt anxious or uncomfortable. It was a quirk of his you liked.

"Stop." You'd interrupted him which prompted a lift from his brows. _How could he think that?_ You assume Kilgrave's doubts must have manifested from his relationship with Jessica. You didn't mind talking about her and when they were together, but it wasn't your favourite topic of conversation. Kilgrave gathered this about you and so didn't bring it up often; he didn't like it when you'd talk to him about past relationships either. He was the jealous type, some people are. You just accepted it, as long as he wasn't too possessive. He's gotten much better than when you two first started up. Kilgrave trusted you enough after year and a half and he had no problem talking to you about his feelings. You quite liked the sound of his accent and loved the way it made him feel after getting whatever it was off his chest. _His chest is very nice.  
_ He needed someone to listen. It took quite a while for him to come around as he's never had complete trust in anyone. In this brief moment you think back to one of your talks; Kilgrave opened up and admitted every time Jessica told him how repulsed and disgusted by him she was, a small piece of him died inside. Even though he'd never ever show it, it broke his heart. He started to believe he was repulsive. His doubts are always there, even though he was now with you. They'd claw at the back of his mind. It was as though he was waiting for you to say how this was all a big joke on him and you were actually as disgusted and repulsed by him as Jessica was. Your eyes stared into his big brown ones looking down at you.

"I love you." Maybe some eye contact and your palm on his bristly cheek would convince him of your sincerity.

"Say it again. Please." Kilgrave asked with his arms still cradling your body.

"I. Love. You. Kevin Thompson, Kilgrave whatever you want to call yourself, I'll still love you." Your eyes are still glued to his. Kilgrave sighs and smiles at you for a bit. You start to feel your cheeks redden.  
"Are we just going to stare at each other all day or shall we put the shopping away and make a start on the spag-" Kilgrave's lips touch yours whilst you were mid-sentence. You weren't too annoyed as his kiss seemed to make everything better no matter how you felt. Kilgrave pulls away and watches you stumble and catch your breath, he loves seeing the affect he has on you and grins while he replies.

"Sounds like a plan."

-

Causing mischief in Spain had come to an end so you and Kilgrave pack up and head home. You loved travelling with him. You'd always fly first class and stay in the most beautiful places whilst vacationing. You think you'd get bored of it by now but you didn't, not with him. The two of you decided to catch an early morning flight back to New York so then you could sleep it off when you got home. After a few too many of the free drinks they offer in first class, you and Kilgrave decide to act like children and play a truth or dare drinking game, which mostly consisted of dares and a lot of sniggering between the two of you. If either of you refused to do a dare or say a truth you'd drink. One of the dares for Kilgrave from you was he had to change his ring tone on his phone through an app to the chorus of the song Horny '98 by Mousse T, and that you would hide his phone in his carry on somewhere and call it sometime throughout the flight. You were waiting until he fell asleep and woke to the song playing with a very confused look on his blushing face. Kilgrave squinted for a moment as he thought long and hard about his final dare for you. He licked his lips, then finally spoke.

"_____, I dare you.... to...." You watched Kilgrave rummage around in his carry on. You leaned over to him and looked inside to what he was holding. "I dare you to wear these. Now. During this flight." It was the pair of dark purple, vibrating lacy knickers he'd bought for you. He must've taken them from your suitcase. You look back up at him.

"Where's the remote?" You whisper to him.

"I'll be in charge of the remote." Kilgrave said sternly, he didn't break eye contact with you. You notice his pupils dilate which made his already large, dark brown eyes seem larger. You felt your heart beat stronger as you contemplated the idea.

"How long will I have to wear them?"

"As long as _I_ want." Kilgrave said with his grin that drove you crazy.

"Is the thing even charged? I never charged it."

"I charged it fully yesterday. _____ you're stalling. Just take a drink if you're not going to do it."

You frowned at his assumption. "No, I'll do it." You held your hand out to Kilgrave and quickly looked around to see if anyone was looking in your direction. Kilgrave lifted up the knickers from his bag so they were clearly visible. You hadn't noticed and when you looked back your hand snatched them from Kilgrave, balled them up in your palm and stood.

"We haven't even started yet, but your face is already a lovely colour of crimson." Kilgrave stretched arrogantly in his seat and wiggled the remote in his hand. You rolled your eyes and headed to the airplane bathroom. Once inside the small locked room, you slid out of your non vibrating knickers and slipped on the purple lacy ones that would soon have a mind of their own. After pulling your leggings back up and making sure your skirt wasn't tucked into them, you balled up your red knickers in your hand so they weren't visible and left the bathroom. You took a breath and approached the empty seat next to Kilgrave.  
"All set?" He asked after you sat down.

"Yes." You hadn't looked at him yet.

"Great. Shall we begin? Let's start off slow." He whispered. You watched Kilgrave's thumb about to apply pressure to the button on the remote.

"Wait! If I have to do this, I want you to wear these, now. You're not getting all the fun." Kilgrave is confused as you reach over and place your fist in his open hand. You hand over your red knickers in his large hand, he looks down at them and then at you.

"I don't think I'll fit everything into these." He's studying the very little space female underwear provides. You gulp at his presumption.

"Just go put them on." You say with some defeat. Kilgrave stands.

"Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist. That's _my_ job." He makes sure you've seen him slip the remote into his pocket before leaving to change into your underwear. You're left sitting there by yourself. Your seat is a window seat at least so you pass some time looking out. The feeling of anxiousness and anticipation in the pit of your stomach stops you from fully enjoying the view so you just end up tapping your fingers on the arm rest. _What's taking him so long?_

You hear the airplane bathroom door squeak open so you poke your head up and look to see Kilgrave emerging. He's spotted you looking his way and smiles. You force a smile back not noticing him reach into his pocket. You then felt something moving on your crotch making you quickly inhale at the unexpected sensation and slide back down into the seat. Kilgrave tries to control his smug smile as he approaches. He raked his hair with his fingers and takes his seat, positioning himself as comfortably as he can while wearing your underwear. Your breathing has quickened and your hands tightly grip the arm rest.

"Did you put them on?" You try to ask calmly as if nothing is out of the ordinary. You can feel your toes curling in your shoes.

"Yes, bit tight but there we are. They were still slightly warm when I slipped them on too, so thanks for that. The little white hearts are a cute touch." He says casually while he stuffs his boxers into his carry-on.

"How long?" You blurt out quickly.

"Excuse me?" Kilgrave raises a brow.

"How long will I wear these for?" You ask catching your breath. Your knees touch every so often from your uncontrollable twitching. Kilgrave watches your movements before leaning in to reply.

"How long will you last?" Kilgrave's hot, minty breath warms the inside of your ear. He leans back and watches you with wide eyes. He lifts one of his long legs onto his other knee to make himself comfortable for the show. "This is too easy." You turn to Kilgrave and hope he wasn't going to do what you think he's going to do. He presses the button for the flight attendant and bumps the intensity up a level using the remote hiding in his pocket. You hurry and fumble your mouth with your hands to muffle a loud moan. You bite down hard on your lip and grip harder on the arm rests when the attendant arrives.

"How can I help you sir?" The flight attendant notices your body language then shifts her attention from you to talk to Kilgrave.

"I was just wondering when will dinner be served?" Kilgrave's hand is in his suit jacket pocket the whole time, turning the vibration up ever so slightly.

"It won't be long sir; it'll be about a half hour or so. Would you like a snack while you wait sir?" She asks. Her eyes shift focus from Kilgrave to you every now and then. "Are you alright madam?" You cross your legs and look up at the attractive woman. Your cheeks are on fire. She has the greenest eyes complimented with a perfect amount of mascara and a beautiful shade of dirty blonde hair in a high ponytail. You can't help but notice how her uniform compliments her curvy body. You nod and smile not uttering a sound. You look to Kilgrave who's been watching you with a smirk. Your warm lips are shut tight trying to trap your pleasure that's fighting to escape. Kilgrave inhales deeply and turns back to the flight attendant.

"Poor thing," Kilgrave sighs and rests his hand on yours that's still scratching at the arm rest and taps it. "She's not the best flyer."

"Would the madam like anything to calm her nerves? A drink perhaps?" She has the greenest eyes you've ever seen. Try as you might to answer, you can't. You hang your head downwards at the floor trying to hide you're quickened breaths. You feel yourself getting wetter in between your legs.

"Yes that would be wonderful. Two vodka lemonades please." Kilgrave orders the drinks.

"Coming right up sir." The young flight attendant's full red lips frame her teeth as she flashes a sympathetic smile toward the both of you before leaving to prepare your drinks. Kilgrave leans over to look out the window next to you pretending to point at something to show you. You feel him against you. His crotch is solid. You look up at him, trying to focus on his face inches above yours. You can smell his familiar scent. He can hear you taking in sporadic breaths every now and then. This close to you he can just about hear the buzzing noise coming from your area. You're so glad he bought a quiet set of vibrating knickers.

"Having fun?" He says. You don't need to look at him to know he's smiling.

"How much longer Kilgrave?" You whisper a moan in his ear.

"That depends entirely on you my dear." He says with a low tone that gives you goosebumps all over your body. It makes you shiver, and Kilgrave ups the vibration again. You grab at his shirt with one hand and pull it. His lips smack onto yours. After a short kiss Kilgrave sits back down into his seat before grabbing a blanket from your carry-on to cover his obvious bulge. Thankfully there aren't many people in first class with you and Kilgrave. There wasn't anyone sitting in the seats right in front of you or right behind you either. Most people were on the other side of the plane or toward the front of the first class cabin. That gave you some relief, they couldn't hear you whimper and breathe so hard.

It had only been a couple of minutes since your drinks arrived but it felt like longer, much longer. You hadn't touched yours yet. You don't have the strength; your limbs have become weak. Kilgrave turns the vibration up to the max and watches you fidget in your seat. It was such a rush the possibility of being caught. You couldn't be loud, otherwise it would draw too much attention. Kilgrave watched you with his mouth ajar as you orgasm. You made sure it was as quiet as you could make it. You squeezed your eyes shut and pushed your back into the seat with your hands on the arm rests. Your head tilted back as you held your knees together, flinching as Kilgrave turned the knickers off. To others it just sounded like you were doing breathing exercises to calm yourself down from the flight. Your cheeks were very pink and it made Kilgrave a very happy man.

"Satisfied?" He asked playfully resting his jaw on his palm as he leant on the arm rest toward you.

"Yes." You breathed and reached for your drink. It didn't take you long to finish it. Kilgrave placed some of your hair behind your ear. After your heart rate dropped to a normal level again with your breathing, you whispered to Kilgrave as his nose was buried in a book.

"Now we'll have to find something as equally as embarrassing and pleasurable for you to do secretly in public."

"Good luck with that." He replied with his wicked smile.

-

Hank and the rest of Kilgrave's goons took care of packing your luggage in the car before arriving home from a long journey from the airport. It was late evening and you returned to a modern two bedroom house just outside of Hell's Kitchen. It was close enough so you weren't in the middle of nowhere but secluded enough that you felt you had some peace and quiet. The house was on a slight incline so the long upstairs windows held on by the back of the house, outlined the river with a prettier side of New York City in the distance. When you and Kilgrave attended open houses, Kilgrave managed to convince the estate agent to leave the furniture where it was, it was beautifully decorated so it must've cost a fortune. "It needed to stay here" Kilgrave told him. You're glad he did it, as it would've been such a hassle to decorate the place yourselves.

After waiting for the large gate at the front of your shared property to open and the car to come to a stop, you stepped out of the car and walked with Kilgrave to approach your new home. You stumbled on the pebbles scattered on the drive and unlocked the front door and stepped in. The minimalist style made the place feel spacious and breathable. Hardwood floors clapped beneath you from footsteps and the spotlights imbedded in the ceilings gave every room that lavish, luxurious look about them. You dumped your keys in the purple stained glass bowl on the table pushed up against the wallpapered wall in the hallway. Through the left archways was the living room lined with ultra soft carpet and included a built in fireplace, a shiny and expensive looking flat screen TV, a stereo, and striking pieces of art that hung on the painted walls. Small, bookshelves were dotted around the television where most of Kilgrave's books lay, and potted plants that sat in the corners of the room made the space feel more homely as well as the long, grey curtains that touched the floor. The living room curtains hung around the sliding glass door that lead to the backyard with an outdoor pool and hot tub area, as well as a bird bath and water feature on the grass.

The kitchen and dining room were found through the right archways leading from the hallway. A black fluffy rug rested beneath a black wooden table near a wide window on the front of the house. More long curtains were arranged around the dining room window and the table was surrounded by comfy cushioned, matching, long backed dining chairs and a few tall, unlit, lilac candles were dotted along the grey table runner.  
A bubbling fish tank hung in the half wall separating the kitchen and dining room. The skinny piece of glass the tropical fish called home, acted as a wall that ended half way across the two rooms. Behind the water were glistening work tops and cupboards and vibrant orange lilies stood in a tall glass vase next to the fridge, while a bowl of plastic fruit for show sat upon the island in the middle of the tiled floor. A small conservatory hung off the back of the house next to the kitchen; it housed living room furniture and a coffee table as well as a glass desk that overlooked the garden.

Framed photos of you and Kilgrave and beautiful shots of all the previous vacations you two had shared over the past year scattered the walls that lead up staircase to the second floor. The landing wrapped around the top of the staircase and with it a few small, skinny patterned rugs. The master bedroom where you and Kilgrave slept had its own on-suite and a window with a seat and cushions that overlooked the long back garden. Opposite the master bedroom were the upstairs bathroom and guest bedroom and also a single spiral staircase leading to the attic. The attic was decorated as a study but most nights you both would lie on the carpet and gaze at the stars at night that could be seen through the skylights.

You inhaled in the hallway, happy to be home _._ Kilgrave stepped around you resting his hand on your hip for a brief moment to shift you out of the way so he could hang his coat. You followed suit as he headed for the kitchen. You were still soaking in the beauty of this place whilst Hank and Kilgrave's other suited men and women took your luggage upstairs to the master bedroom. You'd missed being here; _Home._

"D'you fancy a brew _____? I'm dying of thirst." An English accent called from the kitchen.

"Sure... yeah... wha-?" You couldn't process your thoughts let alone what Kilgrave had just said. Your vision got blurrier and blurrier as you stepped into the living room; you rubbed your eyes with your heavy hands. It didn't help. _What's happening?_

"Hot choccie as usual?" Kilgrave called to you again. He had no answer this time which made him squint but he continued making his tea. He heard his bodyguards hauling luggage up the stairs and made your milky hot chocolate. He set both on the dining table before he found you in the living room.

"Oh Christ! _____! Darling can you hear me?! _____!" Kilgrave shouted and immediately started kneeling as he approached your lifeless body that lay face down on the living room carpet. He had no choice his knees were weak as he saw you. He turned you to face him as he sat you up. Kilgrave held your head so he could hover his hand over your bloody freckled nose. He felt your breath and breathed a sigh of relief. He noticed his bodyguards coming back downstairs and blinked back his tears.  
"Oi! You! Help me lift her onto the sofa. Keep her head steady, lift it CAREFULLY. If you knock her or drop her you'll drown yourself in the pool. GOT IT?" Kilgrave's voice cracked as he was shaking from his fear and turned to another body guard. "You'll fish him out if he does." The body guards nodded in unison while one of them rushed over to help you onto the long, posh sofa. Kilgrave propped your head up with fat pillows and sat beside you, not taking his eyes off of your face. He brushed some hair away that had fallen around your eyes, dabbed your nose clean with some tissues from a pretty box on the side table and held your limp hand. Kilgrave felt the unsettled and confused presence of his body guards, their atmosphere wasn't helping.  
"You lot can bugger off now." Kilgrave shooed the suits so they scurried out the front door, closing it behind them. He'd forgotten all about his thirst, all he could think about now was that you'd have to wake up soon. You had to. Kilgrave sat there in silence, as the hot drinks got colder.


	14. Feelings

_Jessica?_ Why could you see Jessica Jones? You focus your eyes on her in the distance. She’s rocking what looks like a towel in her arms in an empty room. She’s about 20 feet in front of you. You approach her for some answers and she looks up to greet you with a smile. It looks foreign and it makes you go all cold; she hardly ever smiled but you reciprocated the gesture. She’s wearing her winter coat, jeans and boots. She hands you what she was holding in her fingerless-gloved-hands, you’re hesitant at first and Jessica frowns with confusion.

“_____ take it. It’s yours.” She says in an angelic voice. You gingerly hold your hands out to receive the item. Jessica positioned the towel in your arms gently. She puts her index finger up to her wet lips and makes a long, quiet shushing noise. Her lips always seem to mystify you but this time you could blame on the fact that you had no idea where you were, or how you got here, or what the fuck was going on. You jump at an unexpected pull from your shirt from a small hand. You look down and see what looks like a baby wrapped in the towel Jessica had handed you, except it doesn’t have a face. No facial features of any kind. It was eerie. It reminded you of something out of Silent Hill. It just kept tugging on your shirt with its tiny hands; you weren’t sure why as you couldn’t read facial expressions that weren’t there so you had no clue as to what it wanted. It sounded like it was gurgling or crying you didn’t know, it just sounded all muffled due to it not having a mouth. You looked up to ask Jessica why she’d handed you this thing but she wasn’t there. You looked around the empty white room; there were no corners to be seen from where you were standing.

“Jessica? JESSICA! What do you want me to do with-uh-this?” You shouted whilst twirling to try and spot her.

“What _is_ she prattling on about?” _Kilgrave? He’s here now?_ You’re spinning around trying to clock where the voices are coming from. You jump trying not to bump into them as they appear standing a few feet in front of you. Kilgrave has his arms around Jessica and she looks comfortable in his embrace. You stared at the image before you, failing to make sense of it. _I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jessica wear a dress, or even the colour yellow..._

“Take a picture.” Jessica remarked. She leaned her head onto Kilgrave’s chest and sighed as she curled her arms around his torso. This whole image was off, none of this felt right. The yellow dress hanging on Jessica’s body made her complexion look washed out. Kilgrave’s arms tightened around her. He’s wearing one of his suits and his hair is perfect as usual.

“Uhh... ?” You couldn’t find your words. You looked at Jessica’s pale face then at Kilgrave. He just smiled warmly at you. Jessica extended her arm to reach her hand out to you. You looked down at it. It’s drenched in bright red blood, and you’ve only now realised the no-face baby had disappeared from your arms. _Oh my god did I drop it?_ Jessica grows impatient when you don’t take her hand so she grabs yours, and with her strength she pulls you very close to her and Kilgrave. You’re waiting for the blood to wipe onto your hand but it doesn’t. It’s still wet and dripping off of Jessica’s hand but it’s not being transferred to anything she touches. _Weird._

Kilgrave drops his grasp of Jessica and slides one of his large hands on your waist and moves your head upwards using your chin with his other hand to kiss you passionately. Kilgrave pulls away. Jessica kisses Kilgrave on the mouth right in front of you. She grabs at his thick combed hair at the back of his head and Kilgrave’s hands move up her back. After they finish, Jessica turns to you. You have a hunch of what is about to happen, god knows you’ve thought about it enough times. Your breathing quickens with your heart rate. Jessica pulls on the middle of your shirt with her sopping hand and plants a kiss on your mouth. It’s hard on impact but then softens. _Holy moly_ _. She’s a good kisser._ Your eyelids relax and fall together as you enjoy a tender kiss from a strong dark haired woman. When Jessica’s lips leave yours, your eyes are still shut, your reflexes are delayed for the time being. You feel like your head is full of helium like a balloon about to ascend.

You breathe a large sigh and smile whilst opening your eyes. You expected to be greeted by Jessica and Kilgrave’s faces but it’s only a serious looking Jessica standing off to the side of you this time. The two of you still stand in an empty white room, except Jessica seems to be seeing an environment that you cannot. She holds her phone to her ear to answer a call. You can just about hear an unknown echoic voice coming from her phone.

“Hi, it's Audrey Eastman.”

“Yeah I know.” Jessica replies.

“Did you follow him?”

“Wait, what?”

“Where are you? Jessica? Hello? Jessica? Are you there? Jessica? Can you hear me? Where is Carlo?” Jessica turns slowly and peers downward as if looking through something.

“He's three feet to your right, asshole.” Jessica makes a pushing motion either side of her and her legs are apart to make a defensive stance. She’s frowning and annoyed at someone you can’t see. Jessica’s wearing her coat, jeans and boots again. She’s not looking in your direction. You try to get her attention but it seems she’s unable to see you, so you just stand there and watch.

“Get her on the plastic!” A whiny voice demands as you see two blurry figures appear in front of Jessica.

“How?” A deeper voice can be heard. You assume it’s Carlo.

“I have a gun on her, for Christ's sake, Carlo.” Audrey’s voice is sharp and shaky.

“You shoot at me, I'll pull the bullet out of my ruined jacket and shove it up your ass with my pinky finger, and who do you think that's gonna hurt more?” Jessica’s whitty threat makes you smile. Even when she’s staring down the barrel of a gun she’s not afraid.

“You're bulletproof?” Carlo asks anxiously. Jessica raises her brows confidently and you anticipate some serious kicking of some ass, but instead you’re startled greatly at the sound of a gunshot. The scene in front of you slows right down. Jessica takes a hit and you see some of her blood shoot out of her arm where the bullet made impact. Jessica grabs her bicep and screams in pain. The surroundings begin to rush in behind her. She’s in a crummy apartment? You’re unsure. You’ve never seen it before. There are doors either side of Jessica that hold misty glass, similar to what bathroom windows would have. Presumably those are the ones she pushed open earlier? You hear Audrey cock the gun readying herself for another shot. _Please don’t kill her._ You try to take in as much of the picture as you can before you’re ripped from the sidelines and everything goes black.

White noise fills your ears when you wake. Then you hear a recognisable English accent. You blink a few times to focus on a face close to yours.

“_____? _____, love? How do you feel?” That’s Kilgrave’s soothing voice. You begin to wake up. Kilgrave rests his palm on your forehead then slides it down to brush your cheek. You blink rapidly at the lights of the living room and prop yourself up with your forearms.

“You fainted.” Kilgrave began.

“I gathered that.” You gave him a smile and then inhaled quickly at the pain in your skull whilst you sat up.

“One of your visions?” Kilgrave handed you a glass of water from the small table to the side of the couch.

“Yeah. It was a really, weird one too.”

“Most of them are pretty weird.” Kilgrave watched you swallow down the glass of water. You wiped your mouth and continued.

“This one was creepy too though. I’ve never had one that creeped me out this much.”

“What did you see?” Kilgrave scooted closer, intent on listening.

“A baby with no face whatsoever. I was holding it and it kept pulling at my shirt with its baby hands but I didn’t know what it wanted, I couldn’t soothe it. It had no mouth Kilgrave so I couldn’t tell if it was crying or what. It looked so other-worldly.”

“Oh Christ that does sound awful.” He ran his fingers through his locks that had fallen down.  
“It may be related to your anxiety attack when you thought you were pregnant. I shouldn’t have let you take a break from practicing your abilities, a holiday was no excuse. This wouldn’t have been forced upon you if we’d practiced.”

“I would’ve seen this whether we had practiced or not Kilgrave. It just probably wouldn’t have hit me so hard.” You held your throbbing head then massaged your aching eyelids.

“Is that all you saw? Just a faceless child?” Kilgrave slid his expensive shirt sleeve up to expose his watch and pointed at it. “You were out for a couple hours _____.”

“No, I also saw Jessica and you.”

“Were we faceless too?”

“No, you both had your faces.”

“So what? You just saw us? That was it?” Kilgrave’s confused expression made his eyebrows dance as you nodded. “We did nothing even remotely exciting?”

“-No.” You broke eye contact with Kilgrave. That reply was too quick.  
“but... then... I saw-Jessica! I need to warn her! Have you seen my phone?” You were about to stand but Kilgrave stopped you by putting his large hands on your shoulders to keep you seated.

“Why? What’s the matter?” You’re looking into his large chocolatey eyes. You do a little sigh to appreciate Kilgrave’s appearance before getting back to the matter at hand.

“I think it’s in my coat pocket, can you pass it to me Kilgrave? Please?” Kilgrave just gave you a confused stare and his mouth was open wanting to ask a question. “NOW Kilgrave! it’s urgent!”

“Alright!” Your mood made him worry and rush out to the hall. He grabbed your phone and paced back into the room to see you with your feet on the floor but still sitting on the couch. He sighed at your stubbornness and sat beside you to hand you your phone. You thank him and scroll through your contacts to Jessica Jones and tap the call button. You put the phone to your ear and let it ring out before hearing a monotone greeting from her answer machine. You try a few more times and the same thing happens.

“Fuck! Shit.” You curse after hanging up.

“Would you please explain to me what exactly is going on?” Kilgrave raised his eyebrows with worry. You turn to him.

“I saw Jessica getting shot.”

“Right,” Kilgrave stands. “Why is that _our_ problem?”

You frown furiously up at him. “She may be in danger! I don’t want Jessica to die.”

“Tell me, why is it you care about her so much?”

“She’s a friend of mine Kilgrave. She was the first person I talked to when I moved here, and we still keep in contact. I’ve sent postcards from our holidays to her before now.” You waited for another reply from Kilgrave but he just shrugged. It just made you more worked up.  
“She's a friend Kilgrave! She’d do the same for me. I have to tell her I saw her get shot and that she may want to stay clear of an Audrey... something and someone called Carlo....” You begin to stand even though your shaky legs protest against it. Kilgrave follows you ready to catch you if you fall as you walk to the hallway to put your coat on.

“You have to warn her now? Right this minute? _____ come on, you can hardly stand. You’re not going anywhere tonight.” Kilgrave is standing between you and the door. He’s watching you fight with finding the arm hole of your coat.

“STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!” You shout. Kilgrave is taken aback and decides to challenge you.

“I’m not! Jesus, I just think this can wait until you’ve rested and have some more strength. You’re jet lagged and you’ve just fainted from one of your visions which you’ve said before take a lot out of you.” Kilgrave’s tone is harsh but caring.

“I’m fine.” You snap. You’re frowning whilst buttoning up your coat. You try to reason with Kilgrave.  
“Look, if I can’t get a hold of her on her phone then I’ll just see if she’s at her apartment. She’s probably not answering her phone because she’s sleeping and it’s on silent.”

“Yes. She’s probably sleeping, because it’s nearly 1am, and that’s exactly what you should be doing now too! What are you going to do? Wake her just to say _Oh hi Jessica, I’m here to warn you about something I saw that may or may not happen, ok bye._ For godsake _____, I’m sure she can handle a bullet _.”_ You don’t appreciate Kilgrave’s immature impression of you. You raised your voice in your frustration.

“What I saw could happen tonight, don’t you get that?! I didn’t see a calendar hanging up next to her showing the precise date of when she’ll be shot. I also only saw her getting shot once but who knows how many times she may be shot. What if it’s fatal Kilgrave? She doesn’t know her life is in danger and I have to warn her because I have an advantage before it’s too late. I can’t put this off! If Jessica dies, I’ll feel responsible for not dealing with this sooner. FUCK! What’s your problem? I won’t be long.”

“Jessica isn’t as nice as you may have come to believe.” Kilgrave scoffs.

You laugh. “Jessica isn’t nice, period. And anyway, it’s not like you’re a saint.” You fold your arms.

“SHE-LEFT-ME-TO-DIE! DON’T _YOU_ GET THAT?” Kilgrave’s voice was louder now. You hated when he raised his voice like this. It was so booming it gave you chills.

“You must’ve pissed her off pretty badly, I know the feeling. Kilgrave I don’t have time for this, please will you just move?” He’s blocking the front door with his body. _This is getting beyond annoying now._

“Why do you have to involve yourself with the likes of Jessica Jones? She always comes between us one way or another.” He’s thrown his long arms up in the air. _He’s so dramatic._

“What are you on about? The only person letting her come between us is you. You’re the one with the problem with her. Will you get out of the way? I’m going now.” You’re trying to push your way through to grab the door handle.

“Perhaps she shouldn’t be saved. Let nature run its course. My life would be so much easier without her!” You stop to give Kilgrave a look of anger and confusion that scares him a bit.

“My life would be harder without her. She was my friend before you and I even got together. I’m not losing a friend because you have history and things ended badly for you. It’s not **all** about you.” You jab his side with your elbow and Kilgrave stumbles out of the way, rubbing his bruised rib. You swing the front door open in your fury and one of the panes of glass crack from hitting the wall of the hallway. You begin walking down the dark drive to your car then hear Kilgrave call to you. He’s standing in the brightly lit doorway.

“It’s either her or me _____.” It was Kilgrave’s last resort. He liked getting his own way. Even with you, and he knew saying that would evoke some sort of reaction, but probably not the one he’d hoped for. You stomp back to him, wobbling every so often on the pebbles. Kilgrave has a look on his face, he’s triumphant until he sees the look on your face as you explode.

“I’M GOING TO WARN A FRIEND OF THE POTENTIAL HARM SHE MIGHT BE IN OR GETTING HERSELF INTO! For god’s sake Kilgrave, I’m not choosing her over you, but I feel like I should right now.” You can feel your ears throbbing from your anger.

“Go on then! Piss off! Don’t come back. See how well you’ll do without me!” Kilgrave eyes were wide and scary. It took you a moment to figure out if he was serious or not.

“You don’t mean that.” You laugh but your smile soon fades. Kilgrave slams the front door in your face causing the cracked glass at the bottom to shatter. You step back to avoid the glass and see Kilgrave disappear through the archway into the dining room. You decide to leave him to cool down in his stupidity. You turn and walk back to your car and curse as you leave for Jessica’s apartment. _Why is he being such a huge fucking asshole?_ Kilgrave can see you drive away through the large window next to the dining table and hauls the cups that now hold cold tea and used to be hot chocolate at the wall. He snarls with his throw. The liquid splatters on the wall and the mugs break into a fair few pieces from the force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry it's such a late update. I've had to deal with real life adult stuff. My job is all screwy atm  
> Thank you all so so much for waiting so patiently, I honestly really appreciate the support and love I've gotten. It means the absolute world.  
> Thank you.  
> \- C ✌


	15. Chills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, hi. It’s been a while. Just a disclaimer, I’ve lost my Kilgrave muse. Quite a while ago actually. It might manifest again but as of now it’s gone. Sorry.  
> So this chapter may not be as great as the previous ones. I think I can squeeze one more out of me, but the next one will definitely be the last chapter of A.S.  
> Thank you for reading and sticking around for this long, I know & I’m sorry to make you wait this long. It’s been a heck of a ride and I thank each and everyone one of you who took time out of their day to read and get invested in my story. As I said in a previous author’s note, I don’t think I’m a writer, not as good as some of the things I read on the internet anyway, some people are unbelievably talented. But you, my lovely, patient readers have made me feel like I’m good at something, for the first time in my life, so thank you so so so much. I really, honestly appreciate it. I love you all so much.  
> ✌ ♥ ♥ ♥

You exhale harshly as you remove your keys from your parked car, and throw your arms onto the steering wheel and plant your face into them. You hate arguing, it makes you feel ill. It feels worse somehow arguing with Kilgrave. You’ve never actually fallen out before, not this intensely. Locking the door of your vehicle you pocket your hands with the keys in your coat and smile as you enter your old apartment building. It still smells the same; slightly musty with a hint of decay. This is what you used to call home. _Home..._ You’re snapped out of reminiscing by the heavy elevator doors peeling away to reveal a figure emerging. As he approaches you recognise him, it’s Malcolm. You greet him with a grin and a lame little wave. He removes his earphones to return the greeting.

“Hey _____! How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around these parts in a long time.” Malcolm looks a lot better than the last time you met, and smells a lot cleaner too.

“I’m fine thanks Malcolm, you look well.” He looked pretty attractive actually in his shirt buttoned right up under his chin.

“Oh yeah, I kicked an old habit right out the window, see ya!” He laughed after making a kicking motion with his leg. This might’ve been the first time you’ve seen him smile. It made you feel good. “Where’ve you been? Did you move?”

“Yeah I did. I live just outside the city now.”

“Cool, cool. We’ll have to catch up sometime. Sorry I gotta go, I’m late for a meeting.” Malcolm gave you a warm hug. He smelled so good!

“A work meeting? This late at night?” You shouted as he headed for the front door. Malcolm is walking backwards now so he can face you.

“No it’s like a casual meeting with friends where we can talk about how we feel. It’s really useful; it gives me something to do.” You’re glad he has some support with getting clean from drugs.  
“Jessica’s upstairs by the way. If you want to say hello, I’m sure she’s awake, I heard her moving around in there.”

“Thanks Malcolm.” He waves you goodbye and pops his earphones back into his ears whilst the door swings back. You thumb the button of the elevator and step into the open doors and wait as it climbs to Jessica’s and your old apartment floor. You step out into the familiar hall. It hasn’t changed, the wallpaper is still peeling away and the marble floor still has that weird stain on it in that specific area. You advance to her door; it has frosted glass now instead of where the cardboard used to be. Bold black text read: “Alias Investigations”. You see a dim light coming from the inside. She must be studying a case or reading or something. You knock on the glass.

“Nobody’s home!” Jessica’s voice growls from inside.

“Jessica it’s me, _____. I need to speak to you.”

“About what?”

“I’m not speaking to you through the door, would you just let me in please?” You hear a loud sigh from inside and footsteps toward the door. Jessica’s apartment door opens on her chain latch. You see a bit of her face. She’s obviously had very little sleep and her breath smells like scotch.

“What was so urgent that you just had to pay me a visit at-“ Jessica brings her phone out from her back pocket. “2 in the fucking morning?” She raises her brows.

“Oh I don’t know, how about your life and it being in danger?”

“What?” Jessica frowns. You sigh.

“Are you going to let me in or what?”

“Is _he_ with you?”

“No. I’m alone.” You cross you arms whilst Jessica shuts the door and undoes the chain latch. The door creaks open. Jessica has already started walking back to her desk with one of her arms hanging beside her holding a glass of scotch. She sits on the front of her desk sipping the glass. An oversized grey tank top hangs from her shoulders and exposes most of her fair skin on her collar bone. You try not so stare at her.

“Talk.” She brings the cup to her lips. You scoff at her bluntness as you shut her door.

“No _how are you ______ or _nice to see you _____?”_

“Just get on with it will you?”

“Fine.”

You tell Jessica about your vision and how a client of hers may set her up in the future. You tell her of the bullet that hits her in the arm and how you saw her in pain. You try to remember the names: Carlo and Audrey... something... it’s gone.

“Watch out for some weirdos named Carlo and Audrey... something? & don’t get shot? _____ I’ve lived in New York for a while now, what you’ve said isn’t anything new. I meet weirdos everyday and avoid getting shot most of the time.”

“Can you just appreciate that your psychic friend came to tell you, you might get shot _or worse_ , by people whose names you now know, so you can look out for them or avoid completely? That would be nice.”

“Fine. Thank you. But why couldn’t you just call me?”

“I tried, like 20 times! You wouldn’t pick up, and I didn’t know whether that thing I saw would happen tonight and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if it would happen right now. I couldn’t stop thinking what if it was fatal-” You become upset and try to blink back your tears. It doesn’t work and Jessica notices. She places her glass down and hops off the desk and approaches you.

“Ok, ok, listen. I’m thankful you came and told me before I could’ve died. That was helpful. Please don’t get upset.” Jessica rubs your arm reluctantly to comfort you.

“I just don’t want you to die. I don’t want anyone to die. That’s why I came over, I know it’s late, I’m sorry.” You wipe your eyes and sniff. “I think I’m upset from being really jet lagged, I haven’t slept yet.” You do a big yawn. Jessica’s large glassy eyes scan you.

“D’you wanna crash here? You look awful; you shouldn’t really have driven over here.”

“I had no choice. & thanks, but I was gonna have a quick power nap in my car before heading home.”

“Are you sure? I’ll probably fall asleep on my laptop at my desk so you can have my bed.” Jessica points to her bedroom and you look at her bed. You have such a strong urge to curl up under the dark blankets. You look back at her and she makes a movement with her head as if to say _go on I insist_.  
“I have to do some research on a file anyway. I won’t be done for a while.”

“Thanks Jess-“ You groan as your stomach cries. You clutch your tummy.

“You hungry?” Jessica asks. You nod sheepishly and Jessica sighs and walks to her kitchen. You hear her rustling in her fridge and cupboards before she comes back to present you with a plateful of banana bread. You love banana bread.  “Here.”

“Thanks.” You gobble a slice. “Did you make this? It’s good.”

“Sure. Now can I get back to work please?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. Sorry. Thanks again Jess, really.” She smiles politely and nods before turning away to continue her work. You drag your feet to her bedroom and remove your coat then drop it on the floor next to the bed. Another slice of banana bread has made it into your mouth; it hangs there whilst you place the plate on the bedside table. You begin to search for your phone in your coat. You press the unlock button, the screen flashes on. “0 New Messages, 0 Missed Calls”. You sigh and kick off your shoes, finish your last slice of banana bread before sliding under Jessica’s bed covers. You rest your head on her surprisingly soft pillows and begin to drift off.

 _Oh no. I don’t feel so-_ You spring up from the bed into the living room where Jessica confusingly cocks her head up from her laptop. The windows behind her are pitch black.

“WHERE’S YOUR BATHROOM?” You croak out before holding your mouth, like it will help.

“Uh over there...” Jessica points toward the door. You race toward it and crash into the door before spilling up your guts into the toilet. You feel a presence behind you.

“You alright?” Jessica asks. You begin retching again before you can answer. Jessica grabs your hair back as you throw up again. You wipe your mouth.

“Thanks.” You mumble with a burning throat. You balance your elbow on the faded pink toilet and rest your cheek on the back of your hand.

“That banana bread must be off.” Jessica sits on the side of the bath.

You clear your throat. “It tasted really nice, it can’t have been.”

“Maybe you don’t handle jet lag as well as you thought?”

“I don’t know... We’ve travelled quite a lot. I’ve never thrown up when we’ve got back...”

“I’m going to throw that banana bread out anyway. I can’t eat it now.” Jessica stands and heads for the door.

You struggle a laugh that makes your head throb.

“There should be a spare toothbrush in the cupboard. Use it if you want to get that taste out your mouth.” Jessica says before heading back to her desk.

“Thanks.” You push yourself up off the toilet. You flush then wash your hands and splash your pale face with some water. You dab your face with a towel then turn to the bathroom cabinet. You open it and try to find the toothbrush. There’s so much stuff in here it’s a mess. You move things around before deciding to pull things out so it’s easier to see what exactly is in here. _Ah! There you are._ You find the cheap looking manual toothbrush, set it on the side of the sink then begin to stuff the items that have built up in your arms back into the cupboard. You feel accomplished, fitting all those things back in and before you can shut the small door a couple of things that were unbalanced fall out. A light cardboard box landed on your feet. You sigh whilst you bend down to pick them up. You examine the cardboard box.   
It’s a pregnancy test.  
You pause for a moment as your brain registers what it’s just seen. Your heart begins to quicken as you ponder a thought you really didn’t want or need at this moment. _No.... I can’t be. It’s not like Kilgrave is more likely to get a woman pregnant... cos he’s not human... he’s... oh my god._  
You fumble the box with shaky hands and put the pregnancy test on the side of the sink. The bathroom door shuts and locks then you pull your trousers down and sit on the toilet. You grab the stick and position it underneath you. You urinate and it seems like forever until your bladder is empty. Once it is, you reapply the cap and set it on the top of the back of the toilet. You flush again, pull your trousers back up then wash your hands before reading the instructions on the back of the pregnancy test’s box. It says it takes 3 minutes to produce a result. You take in multiple deep breaths that don’t seem to help, you need more air. You slide open the bathroom window to let in some cooler air, maybe that’ll help somehow. You decide to brush your teeth whilst you wait. You count in your head up to 60. After the first 60 your eyes dart back to the pregnancy test resting on the toilet.  You spit then continue brushing. The minty taste is helping; it’s distracting for a moment. After the second 60 you begin to brush your tongue. When you try to brush the very back of your mouth you gag and give up trying. The last 60 seconds you try to prolong as much as possible. You slow your counting speed, to try and drag it out. Your lungs make you breathe harder at the last 10 seconds. You pick up the test and close your eyes as you hold up the result in front of you. Your eyes open and begin to fill with tears as you see the symbol.  
Positive.  
You dig through Jessica’s cabinet again to try and find more pregnancy tests. You find another and do the same again. This one turns out positive too.

Jessica doesn’t hear anything coming from her bathroom for a long while.

“_____?” No response. “_____? You haven’t crashed in there have you?” Nothing. “_____?!” Jessica becomes nervous and presses her ear to the door. “_____?” She turns the door handle with less than half her strength  but it doesn’t budge. She can hear sobbing. Jessica doesn’t waste any time and uses all her strength to twist the door knob to break the lock. She pushes the door. Jessica’s standing over you. You’re curled up into a ball on the floor. Jessica sighs and talks to herself. “There’s a perfectly comfortable bed in the next room-” She shivers and notices the bathroom window is wide open. “Jesus ____, are you trying to catch a cold?” She looks down and focuses on your face this time. You aren’t sleeping; instead your face is wet with streams of tears. She isn’t sure how to handle this situation, instead she scans the room. She notices something strange in her sink. Two slim cardboard boxes and a two white sticks...? Oh. Jessica picks up one of the sticks and looks at the symbol. Her friend’s state is slightly less confusing now. Jessica places the pregnancy test back in the sink and watches your face. You’re staring straight in front of you it almost looks like you’re hypnotised. You’re breathing so hard your throat does a faint, squeaky, wheezing sound. Jessica’s heart breaks to see her friend this way; she scoops you up and carries you to her bed. Then goes back to shut the bathroom window. She stomps back into the bedroom, determined for you to speak. You see her stand in front of you as you lay on the bed.

“Are you going to tell me what is going on with you or are you just gonna continue staring into the abyss?”

“Did you look in the sink?”

“Yes. Thanks for asking if you could use them by the way”

“I’ll buy you some more.” You reply in monotone, so much is going on in your head at the moment. Your mind isn’t entirely in this moment. It’s also somewhere in the future, thinking about you and Kilgrave and the life growing inside you.

“Alright, fine I don’t actually care about the pregnancy tests. Just talk to me.” Jessica sat at the end of the bed.

“We had a fight, before I came here.” You sat up against the headboard of the bed and wipe your face with your hands. You’re looking Jessica in the eye now.

“About what?”

“I wanted to warn you about the vision I had but he didn’t want me to go. He was giving me bullshit about how it was in my best interest to rest first, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t live with myself if I was sleeping whilst you could’ve been dying. It would’ve been my fault if I hadn’t have warned you-”

“You can’t be so hard on yourself _____. I appreciate you coming to warn me, but you can’t save everyone. It sucks I know but you can’t be responsible for everyone you see who may be hurt or die in one of your visions. You can’t be everywhere to save everyone, you just have to try and live with it,” Jessica inhales deeply to calm herself and hold back some tears before continuing. “it’s not your fault. I know you have an advantage or disadvantage in some cases with your gift, but maybe you should just let life do its thing.” You stop and think hard about the wisdom that Jessica had given you. “If you don’t you may not end up having a life of your own.” Jessica looks down to your stomach then back at your face. You nod and smile, agreeing with Jessica.  “I was going to tell you at some point, me and Luke are leaving New York for a while.”

“But what about Alias Investigations and Luke’s bar?”

“We’re not leaving forever idiot, we might come back someday. I can work pretty much anywhere, and Luke can get a job at a bar or open one himself anywhere too. I’m telling you because I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” There’s a strange silence between the both of you. “So don’t come looking for me when you have a vision of me breaking a nail or something. You’ll have other responsibilities.”

“Haha.” You laugh sarcastically. You smile at Jessica and she smiles back. She hops off the bed and takes her jeans off. The dim moonlight coming in from the gap in her curtains makes her pale skin glow.

“Now move over. I need my space.” Jessica says jokingly as she joins you in bed. You’re both under the covers. You turn to face her.

“Thanks Jessica. I’m gonna miss you.” You wait for her to turn and look at you. You smile. She moves in close, places her hand on your cheek and slowly kisses you on the lips. Her lips are softer in reality than you recall from your vision. You should’ve pulled away but you didn’t want to. After breathing in her scotch infused scent you open your eyes.

“There, something to remember me by. Now shut up and go to sleep.” Jessica turns to lay on her side facing away from you. You’re so at peace you drift off instantly. Jessica falls asleep not long after.


	16. Inevitable Close, New Adventure

After spending the night at Jessica’s rather cold apartment you’re awoken by noisy traffic outside. You turn over and open your eyes to narrow them with a frown towards the window. You sigh and just stare at the sunlight leaking through the old, faded curtains. You reach for your phone and turn it on and wait for your home screen to load. “1 New Message _”._ You hesitate then unlock your phone and open the message. “I need you.” Sender: Kilgrave. You inhale deeply to give your brain some oxygen maybe that’ll wake it up to provide you with a fitting response. You sit up against the headboard. _Maybe sitting vertically will help? Nope. It didn’t._

“He’ll always find a way to control you, even if you aren’t completely aware of it.” You look down from where you heard the croaky voice. Jessica’s large hazel eyes are slowly blinking as they fully wake up. She rakes her long, glossy bangs from her face and raises her brows waiting for your reply. It’s a while before you pluck up the courage to ask a question you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to.

“What did he do to you Jessica?” You swallow to moisten your dry throat. Jessica stares off past you for a few minutes.

“That’s my business.” Her eyes are back on yours now. She’s still resting her head on her pillow. “_____ just believe me when I say he’s a control freak. Whether you think you’re doing something because you want to out of your own free will, he’s most likely influenced you in some way.“

“But his powers don’t-“

“-I know his powers don’t affect you now. I can tell when someone’s under his control. I can see it on their face.”

“You’re making me doubt myself now. Am I thinking you’re wrong because I actually think it or because he’s made me think that you’re wrong? But why does what you’re saying sort of make sense?” There’s a silence and a confused look from Jessica.

“I liked you better when you were sleeping. You were less of a headache and...” Jessica gets out of bed and stands. She says something when she stretches as she stands. You’re not sure but you think she said you’re kinda cute while you sleep. You glance at her black lacy knickers before she pulls on her skinny jeans. She applies some deodorant, changes the shirt she slept in for one on the floor and throws on a grey hoodie. She sits back down on the bed to pull on her boots. You watch her. Jessica turns to face you.

“I need some coffee and a ton more whiskey to be mildly functional. C’mon. Get dressed.” Jessica heads to the bathroom to go over her teeth with a toothbrush and toothpaste. When she’s finished she waits for you by the front door. You emerge from Jessica’s bedroom dressed in yesterday’s clothes. Jessica watches you tie your hair in a loose pony tail. You too brush your teeth quickly before leaving together.

Jessica walks you to her closest liquor store and purchases a bottle of cheap bourbon. She fills up her metal hip flask from her bag, and offers you a swig but you decline as you’re opposed to the idea of drinking before noon. She shrugs and puts her bottle in her tattered and sad looking messenger bag.  
You both buy some cheap coffee and Jessica adds some of the contents of her flask to her cup. You both find a fairly secluded spot in Central Park and settle on a park bench. The coffee is strong as you sip some but not too overpowering. Jessica pretty much downs hers in one go this could be due to her super strength, but you’re more of a sipper as the boiling liquid would burn your throat.

She takes a huge gulp from her flask before screwing the lid on and placing it back in her coat pocket. She’s psyching herself up to finally tell you her traumatic past with Kilgrave. You’re patient as it takes a couple hours to tell you everything she can remember. You practice breathing exercises with her when she feels like it’s too much and begins to panic. She recites street names and whatever helps so you can bring her back to the now to calm her down. Your hand is on one of hers that’s grasping at the plank of wood under her thigh. You reassure her it’s ok to cry if she wants to. She doesn’t though. Jessica’s eyes just tear up a few times. You see something flash in your vision for just a second here and there. It’s distorted. You see Jessica kneeling over someone’s body lying on a road? Her foggy breath leaves her mouth heavily. Her expression is horrified and a familiar voice is calling for Jessica over and over. It’s ringing in your ears as well as the sound of white noise. _Not now! Of all the times to spontaneously produce a hallucination! I need to be here for her. I need to listen._ You release a frustrated moan as you squeeze your eyes shut and try to halt the image your brain was forcing upon you. Jessica undoubtedly noticed.

“Are you ok? Are you having one of your visions? Does it hurt?”

“Sorry,” You apologise. “it’s a small one. You’re kneeling over someone’s body in the street while someone else calls to you over and over again. Then all I could hear was like this white noise. I’m so sorry. I’m so rude; this is something really difficult for you to recall-”

“-_____ shut up. You can’t help it.”

After you’re sure the random images are brought to a close. You rub the side of your skull with your palm then try to study Jessica’s face.

“...what is it Jess?”

“That’s already happened.” Jessica is wearing a frown.

“What? What has?”

“What you said you just saw. It’s ... already happened.” Jessica’s voice got quieter and croakier towards the end of the sentence.

“What? How? When?” You stutter words. “How did I see something from your **past**?”

“Maybe you’re not the one doing it.” Jessica looks at your tummy then back up to you. After you got the message you stare off expressionless from Jessica’s gaze. You’re not sure what to think. It’s not entirely impossible... that the child you’re carrying may have _abilities_... after all, it has two parents who are the same way. Jessica gives you a few minutes before she spoke again.

“It was the day I broke free of _him_.” Jessica brought out her flask again. You stopped her bringing it to her lips and told her to tell you everything, and you heard it all. Every feeling Jessica wasn’t able to express and actions she can never undo. You’re not sure what to think or feel. The things you’ve heard from one of Kilgrave’s longest and surviving victims. You remember when you met Kilgrave and how you hated being under his control but you can’t possibly comprehend what Jessica had to endure. You don’t want to believe it, but you have to because Jessica is a friend. A good friend, before you and Kilgrave were an item. You decide to deal with your conflicting thoughts later and swerve the subject to save Jessica from more mental distress. It isn’t long until you’ve made her laugh; it makes you feel better to see her smile. When you finally finish your coffee you dispose of your cup in the bin beside you, stand, then give Jessica a hug goodbye and wish her all the luck in the world when she moves away from Hell’s Kitchen. You tell her it’s her decision if she wants to stay in touch as you’re unsure whether she’ll want to.

“No way. Ew.” Jessica replies in a sarcastic way and pushes your shoulder causing you to stumble. When you rub your shoulder and look back at her, she pokes her tongue out at you. You laugh then smile back at her and wave awkwardly before beginning your walk back to your car. Jessica walks in the opposite direction as she has some last minute errands to take care of in town.

You begin to doubt the last year and a half of your life. The person Jessica described seems like a completely different person than who you’ve been living with. Do people really change? And are they worthy of a second chance? And no matter how destroying their previous actions were?  
Now that you think about it, Kilgrave has shown many signs of manipulation. Not by using his super powers, but emotionally. In nearly every argument you remember having since you’ve been together you’d call him out on his controlling shit when it got too overwhelming and it would cause the two of you to not talk for a few hours. The two of you would always make up and had great sex afterwards, as cliché as it sounds. That’s most definitely not the signs of a healthy relationship. When you sit in your car you think about your future. You look down at your stomach. _What are we going to do?_

* * *

 

You drive slowly back to the property you and Kilgrave share. You made sure you had enough time to think through and go over your decision, and then go over it again. You feel the pebbles of the driveway under the wheels of your car. You cut the engine and take a large breath in and out. You leave your car and insert the key and lock the door. As you turn you see a tall, lanky figure in the lit porch of the front door. It gives you a strange butterfly feeling for a second. You approach the house and are unsure what to do as you’re now standing in front of him. He’s breathing through his teeth and his hard brow is almost poking out his face from his glare. Your eyes dart around his face to try and decipher a feeling or a different expression. He steps down to your level and exhales. His cologne is powerful as he wraps his long arms around you and pulls you into him.

“Where have you been darling?” His accent almost sways you. Almost.

“Jessica’s.” You reply in a flat tone as you make your way into the house. You remove your coat and place it on an empty hook on the coat hanger.

“I know.” Kilgrave says sternly as he closes the door. “What I meant was where did you stay? I’m assuming a hotel?"

“No. I stayed over Jessica’s.” You walk into the dining room/kitchen and notice a wet patch on the wall above the table, and then continue to the kitchen to fix a drink. Kilgrave isn’t far behind you. He tries to control his anger by wiping his mouth heavily and pulling on his lower lip. He then runs his hand through his hair. He follows you into the kitchen. You’re in the cupboards looking for a glass for an awful long time and refuse to turn around to face him.

“Tell me you’re joking. We have an argument about Jessica always being there then you disappear and I don’t hear from you for the entire night. No text, no call, nothing, and the whole time you were having a bloody sleepover?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF.” You hated when he used his booming voice.

Your back is still facing him. “I needed to get away from you.”

“That’s understandable, but do you have to see her so frequently?”

You bang your cup down on the counter and swing around to look at him. “Why can’t I be friends with Jessica Jones? WHY?” You’re shouting.

“You sound like a child.” Kilgrave says calmly, which doesn’t help with your blood boiling under your skin.

“Answer the question.” You hiss through your teeth. Kilgrave sighs.

“She twists the truth _____. That’s how she makes her money. I didn’t think you’d fall for it. You’re smarter than that.”

“Oh shut up. I’m not falling for it because there isn’t a story to fall for. I’m beginning to see her point actually. You are controlling, and so insecure of not being my complete centre of attention. THIS IS NOT HOW A RELATIONSHIP WORKS!” You turn around to continue with your drink. You take your cup to the sink and fill it up with water. As the water runs you speak. “This isn’t working Kilgrave.”

“I agree. Something needs to change.” Kilgrave replies. He’s unaware of the seriousness of what left your lips. You turn and are confused as to why he’s taking this so well. “What are your terms?”

“Kilgrave. Did you hear what I said? I said this isn’t working. Us, it isn’t working. Not anymore.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“What? Why?” Kilgrave’s wide eyes are glued to you waiting for you to speak. You can’t bear to look him in the eye so you turn your back to him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t love you anymore.” You wait for him to understand and accept your words. He nods slowly. He’s silent and leans on the wall of the kitchen. You turn and approach him cautiously.

“I still love you _____.” Kilgrave’s voice cracks. This isn’t easy for either of you.

Your eyes begin to moisten.“I’m sorry Kilgrave-” You reach out to rub his upper arm but you jump backwards as Kilgrave grabs it with both his hands.

“Please don’t leave me _____!” Kilgrave peppers your hand with kisses as streams of tears run down his cheeks. “I love you so much. This isn’t fair! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

You let him clutch at your hand. “I’m sorry Kilgrave.” His grip is getting tighter as you try to pull away. “What are you doing?...” He won’t let go. “LET GO OF ME!” You try to pull your hand away but his hand seems to have locked into place with yours and you can’t budge. It’s starting to hurt.

“We’ll go on holiday-that’ll fix this. Where do you want to go? We’ll go anywhere you want! You decide!” Kilgrave’s eyes are frightening and wide. He’s dragging you by the hand to the door.

“Kilgrave you’re scaring me. STOP. LET GO!” He’s not listening to you. You’re standing in the drive and he’s pulling you to his car. He’s muttering to himself in a disturbing way. You don’t know what to do and panic as you blurt out something that’ll make him stop.  
“Kilgrave I’m pregnant!”  
You wait a few seconds for his brain to register the words that spilled out your mouth. It worked. His body relaxes as he turns. He loosens his grip on your hand and you snatch it back to yourself. You rub your slightly numb hand trying to wake it up. He’s not manic like before as he’s in a state of shock. His coffee brown eyes blink rapidly in the afternoon sunlight. The light that catches his eyes makes them look almost golden.

“You’re... pregnant?” He rakes his long fingers with the hand that was clasped on yours just seconds before. “How? I thought you were protected...” He swallows with uncertainty. “Is it-”

“-Of course it’s yours.” You reply shortly. You examine your hand as it comes back to life. You wiggle your fingers and make a fist then flatten your hand to release the built up tension. “I don’t know how. Not one contraceptive is 100% effective. One of your guys got through somehow.” You contemplate moulding a fist again in your hand and planting it right into his jaw. Then you’re snapped out of your imagination.

“Maybe it has something to do with my mutation?” _What? Like super sperm? Give me a break. Oh-he’s talking again. “_ Well this changes things!” He’s chipper. You’re worried. You look up at him and he’s smiling warmly down at you. You don’t reciprocate.

“Not us. This doesn’t change us Kilgrave. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

Kilgrave’s face drops “But... the baby?”

“You can choose to be a father to our child or I’ll raise them by myself. I don’t want to raise this child with you.”

“Why not? We could be a happy family.”

“I don’t want to raise this child with you Kilgrave. I’m not staying together to be an unhappy family, it wouldn’t be fair on the child.” You grow worried. “What are we going to do if they’re not immune to your powers? I don’t want you influencing them to do anything dangerous or degrading just because it’s easier for you to parent or when you’ve lost your temper with them.”

“They will be immune won’t they? They’d have to be. It’ll have my genes as well as yours.”

“That doesn’t prove anything Kilgrave. We won’t find out until they’re born.”

“How would-uh- _this_ work then?” Kilgrave points to you then to himself when he says the word this.

“You would visit us or we’ll visit you. I can’t trust you to be alone with my child.”

“Our child.” You roll your eyes as he continues. He raises his eyebrow. “If I agree to your conditions of raising this child, will I... still be able to see you?”

“When you visit I won’t ignore you Kilgave. We’ll have to be civil to one another for the baby, but I will be present at all times.”

He does a smirk. “Deal.”

You’re not impressed. “I’m not fucking around Kilgrave-“

“Language _____! Our child is present.” He’s trying to avoid the energy you’re giving off.

“If you don’t take this seriously or disappoint this child, or try anything dodgy, you’ll never see us again. I **mean** it Kilgrave.” You’re not in the mood for games. You stare him down and he understands eventually and holds his hands up, palms facing you.

“Alright alright. I promise.”

“Good. Now, I’m going back inside to pack my shit.” You turn on your heel and head back to the house. The pebbles of the driveway crunch under your feet. You hear another pair of feet following.

“Where are you going?” Kilgrave catches up and walks beside you.

You open the front door and walk in and begin to climb the stairs. “I’m not going to live with you anymore Kilgrave.”

Kilgrave’s behind you all the way up the stairs. “At least stay until you find a new place. I’ll sleep in the guest room.”

You enter the master bedroom and bring out a suitcase from the wardrobe. Kilgrave clumsily moves out of your way as you collect your belongings. “ _I’ll_ sleep in the guest room. I’m going apartment hunting for the rest of this afternoon and I have to buy storage boxes to move my stuff.”

“Do you want some company?” Kilgrave asks optimistically.

You give him a look. “No thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Kilgrave.” You reply firmly with a sigh.

After packing your clothes and moving all your trinkets and knick knacks into the guest bedroom, you spend the rest of the day calling letting agents for dates to view suitable apartments in New York, whilst also check for available work in the area.  
After a few weeks of applying you find a job perfect for what you’re interested in, hopefully it will lead to your dream job! You also manage to find an apartment south of Hell’s Kitchen in Brooklyn. It wasn’t exactly what you wanted but it was fairly priced and had reasonable rent for what you were going to be earning. The local school seemed lovely and they weren’t too far from your cute and small two bedroom town house. Cherry blossoms can be seen from the living room window on the pavement outside and it has beautiful antique interior details with high ceilings and pine wood floors.

* * *

 

Jessica, Luke and Malcolm came to help you move into your new home. Jessica introduced you and Luke to one another using your super powers and then she passed you a bottle of bourbon whiskey as a welcoming present. She held it by the neck of the bottle and stretched out her arm to you.

“It’s from me and Luke.”

“Thanks,” You receive the bottle and examine the name. You have no idea why you read the label because you don’t know if it was a good brand or not. “It’s a welcoming present I won’t be able to use for another seven and a half months.” You were being sarcastic but were sincere with gratitude.

“It’ll age well then.” Jessica grinned smugly whilst walking into your new home with a large box under her arm resting on her hip. Luke followed behind her struggling with a similar sized box. He gave you a polite passing smile. Malcolm awkwardly handed you some non alcoholic beers. You thanked him and he smiled warmly at you and looked at your stomach then back at you.

“Are you scared?” Malcolm rubbed the back of his neck.

You looked down at your tummy and patted it. “A little. But it would be weird if I expect it to be anything less than scary.”

“You know... I’ll be here whenever you want to talk or hang out or whatever.”

“Thanks Malcolm.” He nodded and turned to walk back to the moving van. You tried your best to help carry things in but Jessica kept taking thing out of your hands. She did most of the work, which you appreciated but Luke wasn’t far behind her and Malcolm, well he did his best.

When the last load of stuff came into the house, you paid the moving truck driver and the four of you ordered pizza and watched some movies on Netflix. That is, _after_ Malcolm and Jessica argued for what seemed like a while on how to set up your new smart tv. You and Luke just sat on the couch whilst eating pizza and muttering snarky comments and jokes here and there about the nonsense that was Jessica and Malcolm arguing about something neither of them fully understood. When you finally told them to shut up and set up the tv yourself, the four of you talked and washed down the pizza with the non-alcoholic beers. You kept telling them that they could’ve brought alcoholic ones for themselves to drink but they didn’t mind. The three of them shared a taxi back to Jessica and Malcolm’s apartment building. Jessica had some last minute packing to do and you assume Luke was staying the night at her place. You’re happy that she’s found someone compatible; he seemed like a nice enough person.

The pregnancy was as to be expected; horrible. The morning sickness phase passed after a month and you were able to enjoy food again without the fear of it leaving your mouth after you swallowed. Malcolm was a frequent visitor at Casa de _____ (as was Kilgrave, like you’d arranged) and he often cooked for you when he stayed. Malcolm wasn’t a bad cook, it must’ve been something to keep him busy and keep his mind off of drugs. A skill you admired and envied. Malcolm taught you some secrets he’d learnt along the way and it brought the two of you closer.

Jessica would write you emails asking about how you’ve been and often Skype you from the place she was staying at in Hong Kong. Luke would also make a cameo sometimes. You never brought up the topic of when they were or if they were ever coming back to Hell’s Kitchen because you didn’t want to seem needy. You decided to let them tell you or just find out when they show up for an unexpected visit.

You kept Kilgrave up to date with the status of the baby. If the baby was kicking Kilgrave would visit and stay for a while not wanting to miss another one. He was pleasant. You figured it wouldn’t be fair if you kept some of that pregnancy stuff for only yourself to enjoy. He’d stay for a couple hours, have a couple cups of tea, ask you about how you were feeling, discuss baby names and then leave. He was present in every scan and check-up, which gave you some sureness of him taking responsibility. During the second scan of the baby at 20 weeks you found out you were carrying a baby girl.  
The two of you agreed on a name. Era Lavena Thompson. Kilgrave settled on letting you choose her first name if you promised she would have his parents surname. You liked the name Elle and Era, but decided on Era as it was different and unheard of. Lavena is Celtic for joy and it ties into Kilgrave’s ancestry of British Celtic origin. You liked the name Lavena because it sounds like the word Lavender. You told Kilgrave this and he smiled and said he’s always liked the colour and scent.

On one of Kilgrave’s visits later into the pregnancy, he told you he started to get some counselling from a Doctor somewhere in upper New York. It’s a slow process but talking it through to a professional about his childhood, including his mutation was something he really needed. You asked whether that was safe but _Kevin_ assured you that Dr. Stephen Strange is an expert in most psychological disorders, and deals exclusively with mutants and their conditions. Kilgrave told you Dr. Strange asked him to try being called Kevin and not by his villain name Kilgrave. He’d like you to refer to him as Kevin as soon as Era was born. You agreed.

After Era was in the world, your anxiety vision of holding a faceless baby and freaking out in Spain was laughable to you. As you held her you couldn’t stop staring into her beautiful chocolate brown eyes presumably from her father, and were very thankful she didn’t inherit Kevin’s beaky nose. When her hair started to grow it emerged as dark auburn waves. Freckles surfaced when she started school. You didn’t care what she looked like or who she looked like more; you or Kevin, as long as she was healthy and happy. You couldn’t be happier to have another version of yourself to teach and share the world with. You couldn’t wait for her to be able to communicate and have her own ideas and opinions. You would travel with her around the world with the money you saved and what Kevin contributed to Era’s savings account. She was your _special_ forever.

_**End.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shiiiiit. It’s been a while hasn’t it? First of all I’d like to thank all the support (and patience!) from all of you who stuck around or just passed through. I hope I inspired you or fed your imagination in some way. I love running away with my imagination, I’ve done it since I was a kid. I always enjoyed creative writing in school. It’s another way of escaping, but boy is it A LOT of work and requires motivation and dedication. I lost that when I lost interest/my muse with Kilgrave. It happens, but hay-ho I finished it! I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT MOM  
> It’s finally finished!! YAYYY! I kept putting it off for so long. I feel as high as a kite like a weight is lifted!  
> Thank you all so much. Honestly, I never thought I’d have someone read my story, not to mention actually like what I wrote. All my readers are amazing. I never thought I’d have such nice friends from these things my brain happened to have spewed up one day.  
> Sorry if it’s a bit shit (this chapter title is) or if it feels rushed. It’s not my best work because I really wanted to finish it. I didn’t half ass it though, I just didn’t have as much passion as I did with earlier chapters.
> 
>    
> I was going to do alternate endings but it was too much work and I prefer this ending to be honest.  
> There was going to be an ending where the reader stayed with Kilgrave, one where Jessica would get shot and bleed out in the reader's arms by a randomer or by Kilgrave whilst J helped the reader unpack in J's apartment the reader was going to live in when J moved away: Kilgrave would’ve sent this random person or gone himself out of his rage and hatred for J for “telling lies” to make reader break up with him(that’s where J’s bloody hands from the vision comes from: clutching at her wound, but instead her bloody hands from the weird vision the reader had where she passed out is a metaphor for when she killed Luke Cage’s wife)


End file.
